Diary of a familiar tale

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paulds
(@paulds)
Posts: 521
Topic starter
 

Day 73 gamble free,

The day is just beginning which means yesterday was a gamble free day, I had urges but did not gamble and blocks are in place. Every day like that is a good day. Sad way to go through life but better times are hopefully ahead.

Paulds

 
Posted : 22nd March 2019 12:15 am
paulds
(@paulds)
Posts: 521
Topic starter
 

Day 82 gamble free,

Almost at the end of another gamble free week. Life isn't great but it would be a thousand times worse if I was gambling and for that I am thankful.

On to tomorrow and another week, it will hopefully be another gamble free one. Only looking ahead until tomorrow though, one day at a time.

Paulds

 
Posted : 31st March 2019 7:27 pm
paulds
(@paulds)
Posts: 521
Topic starter
 

Day 89 gamble free,

Almost three months but all that matters is that tomorrow I make the right choices. Keep my head down and don't give in, never give up, keep fighting. One day at a time is manageable but a whole lifetime isn't, so just focus on tomorrow.

Paulds

 
Posted : 7th April 2019 7:05 pm
paulds
(@paulds)
Posts: 521
Topic starter
 

Day 72 gamble free.

 

i made the wrong choice for a couple of days back in May, idiotic even if financially it did not do any harm. Putting long stretches of gamble free periods together but gamble free means gamble free, doesn't matter if it is 1p, it is a waste of time, money and energy. 

 
Posted : 1st August 2019 12:05 pm
paulds
(@paulds)
Posts: 521
Topic starter
 

Day 128 gamble free,

 

i havent gambled since May but taking it one day a time, tomorrow could be the day, I have had a few urges recently so should keep my guard up. Finances are getting better at a painfully slow rate, so much time and money wasted to gambling. Never again, don’t give up!

 

paulds

 
Posted : 26th September 2019 9:10 pm
S.A
 S.A
(@s-687)
Posts: 4883
 

Hi and well done on your gamble free time 🙂

Just to say that sometimes I am at my most dangerous when my life starts to get better and am not the only one to say this. It may well be that slowly improving finances is good for you. If your finances improved dramatically over night (eg a bailout) then your gambling head might start talking.

Anyway it sounds like your fully focussed.. Keep up the good work as I try to do the same.. S.A 🙂

 
Posted : 27th September 2019 7:50 am
paulds
(@paulds)
Posts: 521
Topic starter
 

Day 133 gamble free

 

Thanks S.A for some wise words, very true, I just started to think again tonight I could have a small bet on the football it is a sure thing, bound to come in. What horrible tricks our minds play on us. We forget about all the damage to our finances, mental and physical health as well as the lying and deceit, we forget that one small bet always leads to utter devastation

 

paulds

 
Posted : 1st October 2019 7:41 pm
paulds
(@paulds)
Posts: 521
Topic starter
 

Day 156 gamble free

Been thinking about gambling a lot lately, looking at odds etc. Thankfully blocks are in place although I had to visit a town far away so I could have gambled, but I didn’t, because I hate gambling, because it is a waste of time and money, because it makes me want to jump off the nearest bridge, because i turn into a lying deceitful person. 

Next challenge is tomorrow, that is all, one day at a time.

 

paulds 

 
Posted : 24th October 2019 10:04 pm
paulds
(@paulds)
Posts: 521
Topic starter
 

Not as important but now 519 days until debt free, counting down from 1460. Bean by bean the sack is filled.

Paulds 

 

 
Posted : 24th October 2019 10:12 pm
paulds
(@paulds)
Posts: 521
Topic starter
 

Day 158 gamble free, that is all, almost through another day of hell, soon time for bed and I can turn and face the wall and afford a smile and say to myself that I haven’t gambled today. That smile is all I can afford but happiness and psychological well-being is so much more important to me than money. By not gambling I will  be able to afford an increasing number of smiles

paulds 

This post was modified 4 years ago by paulds
 
Posted : 26th October 2019 9:02 pm
paulds
(@paulds)
Posts: 521
Topic starter
 

Day 175 gamble free, 500 until debt free

 

strong urges to gamble, it kills me inside but I will not give in.

Almost the end of the day and I will have survived again. One day and one step at a time.

 

Paulds

 
Posted : 12th November 2019 10:48 pm
DramaLlama
(@dramallama)
Posts: 920
 

Paul, well done for posting. You are not alone. We are all here with you. Use the Helpline to chat if you need to cos it's there 24/7 now. You've got this mate. 

Drama x

 
Posted : 12th November 2019 10:59 pm
(@markman)
Posts: 627
 

Dear Paul,

I hope life is being kind to you.

Congratulations on your fantastic run of abstinence. You should be homing in on 200 days by my reckoning.

Thanks for your words of support back in August. I have avoided the Forum as I could not handle writing another "the world is lost" entry.

I had a bet just before the holiday and had it came in the holiday would have been paid for. But it didn't and the despair I felt overwhelmed me. 

I am now very grateful that the bet lost as by now I would have been ruined as I would have given it all back and then some.

That loss forced me to get my @*it together which I did.

The last few months have been financially very troubling as a result but we are nearly back to a pre-slip position.

Yes, we got a low key holiday in Cornwall which the kids absolutely loved but Rosie and I kind kind of went through the motions.

I have promised my family that next August I will be a year gamble free and they will have the best holiday ever.

Anyway, just to thank you for your stalwart support. I hope I get the opportunity to return the compliment.

Best wishes,

Mark

 

 
Posted : 16th November 2019 11:26 am
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