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Degenerate XIII  

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degenerate
(@degenerate)

Starting another diary. 13th time the charm.

 

Day 3

I had a good amount of money in my account yesterday and quickly shifted it all towards bills and credit card debts. By evening, I only had the minimum amount I need to pay some upcoming bills.

Today, I get a letter letting me know I am due an MOT and Service on my car tomorrow. Sigh. I paid more than necessary towards some bills and its effecting me a day later. I need to be able to handle having some money. 

 

This topic was modified 5 months ago by degenerate
Quote
Posted : 5th July 2019 6:51 pm
adam123
(@adam123)

maybe put 500 pounds in a monzo account (no gambling transactions) and get them to not allow cash withdraw if they can do that?

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th July 2019 8:46 pm
holycrosser
(@holycrosser)

Big trigger stuff like this.happens to me often, stay strong and dont panic ....I know if like me you will, keeping money just sitting there gets easier to do in time for me, however you need a rainy day fund for stuff like this otherwise it could cost you thousands in the future as you chase the win to pay it and the circle of gambling begins.

Good luck

ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th July 2019 3:39 am
degenerate
(@degenerate)

@adam123 I am registered with Gamblock and I have done 99% of my gambling in bookmakers with cash in my hand. Not sure it would be any help to me. I once registered for Monzo as I heard it was good (unrelated to gambling) but decided against at the time. I have switched banks 3 time since last year and I will try and settle with my current bank account for a bit.

@holycrosser I am not going to dwell on upcoming bills and unexpected payments. I will wait till I have next to nothing in my account before panicking about what to do next.

 

Day 4

I got Saturday out the way. I am always very tempted to have a bet on this day due to so many races being available. I thought it was great cos there were so many quality races, so it was less likely there would be a suspicious result. Ha. Most of the time, I would lose on the big races and end up chasing my debts by backing dogs and virtual cartoon racing.

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th July 2019 5:09 pm
degenerate
(@degenerate)

@smartie2

Blooming cars. I paid £200 for brakes and extra £87 for some other issue last month. I held off paying for the service as I still had a couple of months before it was required and then I found out the MOT was needed yesterday.

Usually I would have done the same thing as yourself. I was fortunate that my recent relapse didn't result in a financial loss. Last month, the brakes were an unexpected bill but it was all good as I had money available to cover it. This month I didn't trust myself so moved money and now its not available to me. Later in the month, I will be short when I need groceries and other things. Meh.

This post was modified 5 months ago 2 times by degenerate
ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th July 2019 5:45 pm
degenerate
(@degenerate)

Day 5

No gambling today. In a good mood, a bit worried I have got over my relapse too quickly. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th July 2019 9:16 pm
degenerate
(@degenerate)

Day 9

Expecting some bad news and feeling a bit down which is leading to lack of sleep and many thoughts of gambling. Just escaping other problems. Luckily, I have little money available to gamble with immediately as I have a few blocks in place.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11th July 2019 4:09 am
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Dear @degenerate ,

Sorry to hear you are expecting bad news. I appreciate that these things can affect our sleep and our thoughts.

If gambling has been your way of coping with stress in the past, it is possible the urges get stronger during challenging times. It is a good thing you have the blocks in place so well done for doing that and being prepared.

Please keep sharing and telling us how you are getting on with your recovery. Remember we are always here to help you. The netline and helpline is available from 8am - midnight, seven days a week so please feel free to contact us if you want to talk.

 

All the best

Forum Admin

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11th July 2019 12:04 pm
degenerate
(@degenerate)

Yes I should, I have been meaning to call Netline again. I tried a couple of times recently but it was too busy. I will keep attending Chat for a bit and consider trying Netline soon. 

 

Day 9 (still)

I am in a better mood. I went about my day with only a couple of quid in my pocket. I couldnt gamble if I wanted to. I tried to find out but no update on the work situation. 

A little tempted to book a holiday now. If I wait till I get the bad news I will not be able to justify a holiday. At little finance blip because of a sunny holiday will feel better than a major blip because of a gambling spree.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11th July 2019 7:08 pm
degenerate
(@degenerate)

Day 10

Only working a half day today. Bored, waiting in house for a repair and watched some racing on TV. No money on as I have nothing much available. Unfortunately, I have picked nearly every winner, some at decent odds too. Going to stop watching horse racing, I know I can I have in the past. Stupid me.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 12th July 2019 3:50 pm
slowlearner
(@slowlearner)

Hi Deg,

When we can't gamble we're great at picking winners. But remember the reason we met & started supporting one another is because we tried to pick winners on pay days or at times when we had some spare cash and in some cases when we had access to credit. Never forget what brought us all together Deg. Conducting the same experiment over and over again & expecting a different result isn't going to happen. I know you're a bright lad and have the presence of mind to know if we go back to our old ways things will only get worse. You looked after me when i first came here, believe me i'm trying to look after you now. There's NO  happy endings if we go back to our old ways. You did fantastic before your recent relapse, remember the chippy incident ?. You showed some bottle that day & i've no doubt you can get back on track.

 

Stay Strong

 

AL 

This post was modified 5 months ago by slowlearner
ReplyQuote
Posted : 13th July 2019 12:06 am
degenerate
(@degenerate)

Day 11

Been out all day keeping busy. Just got back and while switching through TV channels saw something that looked a bit like a  horse and jockey on one of the main channels. A bit unsure but I didn't switch back to check. No good just checking to see what the race is and what horses might be racing. I don't care. Moving on.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 13th July 2019 5:00 pm
degenerate
(@degenerate)

Day 15

Yesterday, I reordered one of the credit cards I cut up after latest relapse. A few unexpected bills meant it was very necessary. Today, I login to my account and find the credit card company have reduced the limit by over 90%! I was fuming. I have never missed a payment on that card and I have been pretty good a reducing other bills recently. So I used some money I shouldn't to pay them off and close my account which means my next wage slip is already spent. 

A cheap holiday is now looking more unlikely as a result.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 17th July 2019 6:15 pm
slowlearner
(@slowlearner)

Hi Deg,

Maybe the credit card companies have had a rude awakening and at last woken up. I remember several occasions staying up all night continuing to gamble on credit cards. When i knew i was about to max it up, loss after loss i'd just open a new page & look at credit card offers. The ads often said GET A DECISION WITHIN TWO MINUTES. Give credit where it's due they kept their word, within 2 minutes i was given a 3 - 4 grand credit limit & within 5 days i'd received everything i needed, card pin number and off i went again totally oblivious to what the future held & the damage i was doing. I get it if you think you've been treated unfairly but i wish someone had challenged me years earlier & 20 grand ago. 

Stay Strong

AL

 

This post was modified 5 months ago 2 times by slowlearner
ReplyQuote
Posted : 17th July 2019 11:21 pm
degenerate
(@degenerate)

Day 17

I have always had some sort of debt for as long as I can remember due to my gambling. I need to be positive, I can be debt free without gambling and soon too by being strict with debt repayments.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 19th July 2019 6:24 pm
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