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Day 6  

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Herewegoagain20
(@herewegoagain20)

Day 6 gamble free and today’s really the first day I feel a bit agitated by it. I’ve got as many restrictions in place as possible but I just feel stressed and out of sort today. I’d bet every day of the week but Saturday and particularly Sunday was always the worst days I think that maybe why. Back to work tomorrow after been on furlough for over a year so going to try and spend today watching films with my little boy and off my phone as much as I can today in the hopes it takes my mind off it but thought I’d post on here to help clear my mind a little and remind myself why I need to do this! Happy Sunday people 🙂 

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Posted : 9th May 2021 11:25 am
Aum
 Aum
(@aum)

Welcome to the diaries Hetewegoagain and congratulations on getting through the first week. 

You are aware of the damage gambling causes and it is good that you are prepared to give it up. 

It will not be easy by any means but one day you will be able to look back with pride and relief that you stopped when you did. 

 

Aum 🙏

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Posted : 10th May 2021 2:03 am
Herewegoagain20
(@herewegoagain20)

Thanks Amu. Now on day 8, it’s exactly a week since I woke up the night after losing a fair bit. I would love to say I feel better, but In reality I don’t, I have lots going on in life that’s causing me to feel very down but I know I’d feel much worse if I was still gambling. Did my first shift back at work in over a year since been on furlough last night & finished it off with a gym session after, trying to keep busy although the temptations isn’t massive at the minute I do believe this is mainly down to having Gamban installed and knowing I’m wasting my time trying. Day 8 hopefully I can do another full week....

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Posted : 11th May 2021 7:49 am
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Hi, well done on the 8 days, day at a time will add up. Don't underestimate the power of having blocking tools that's what they are designed for to help you abstain from gambling and give your mind the time and space to reset and give you time to look at your life and effect the change that you need. 100% without blockers I would not have got this far....will be a year on June 5th, I value each and every day. I will never stop my blocks to gambling , why would I ...they work !! You sound down and raw have you got anyone you can talk to ? Have you thought about GA and/or counselling ? Hope things work out for you I know how hard it is for you, but it is SO SO worthwhile, you get your life back

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Posted : 11th May 2021 10:27 am
Herewegoagain20
(@herewegoagain20)

Thank you for your reply, day 10 and not gambled, to be fair the way my mind is just now my brain doesn’t want to concentrate or do anything, including gambling which is making it easier at least. You are probably right and I do need to speak to someone but just now I’m not strong enough, I’m pretty good at picking my self back up eventually so hopefully I can fetch myself out of this mindset I’m in. First week back at work nearly completed and a week tomorrow since pay day and not a penny of my wages have been spent on gambling with money still in the bank. Not my bank May I add, someone looks after my money just now which is one of the blocks I have in place, which at 30 years old can be pretty embarrassing having to ask for my own money for food etc. It’s working at the minute though I just hope I can continue, I do find writing and spilling out my feelings on here helps though so thank you and well done to you also nearly a year is amazing. 

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Posted : 13th May 2021 8:18 pm
Herewegoagain20
(@herewegoagain20)

Day 17. Long way to go but going in the right direction still.

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Posted : 19th May 2021 8:43 pm
Herewegoagain20
(@herewegoagain20)

Day 18, still regularly crosses my mind to gamble , the main thing keeping me on the right track just now is I really don’t want to start from day 0ne again! Feels nice to have money in the bank and know it will still be in the bank when I wake up tomorrow, without me having stayed up all night gambling and waking up to nothing. I’m proud that for 18 days I’ve had money in the bank and not a penny of that has been wasted on gambling after spending years of it been a daily habit! Long way to go but another day in the right direction....

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Posted : 21st May 2021 12:53 am
Secretaddict
(@secretaddict)
Posted by: Herewegoagain20

Day 18, still regularly crosses my mind to gamble , the main thing keeping me on the right track just now is I really don’t want to start from day 0ne again! Feels nice to have money in the bank and know it will still be in the bank when I wake up tomorrow, without me having stayed up all night gambling and waking up to nothing. I’m proud that for 18 days I’ve had money in the bank and not a penny of that has been wasted on gambling after spending years of it been a daily habit! Long way to go but another day in the right direction....

👏 Fantastic,  so pleased you are on day 18, it sure does feel good to see money in your account and not have to stress about bills not being paid. 

Keep it up 💪

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Posted : 21st May 2021 10:47 pm
Herewegoagain20
(@herewegoagain20)

Thank you. I’ve always been pretty lucky as such that I’ve never missed my main bills, rent has always been paid on time, never gambled food money and left us without or anything my debts are all mainly from loans out so I didn’t have to touch my rent money to gamble with and for catalogues etc which I put stuff on when I had spent the money that was intended to pay for said item, I was trying to live a good life style still whilst gambling every spare disposable penny I had. You are right though it feels good to be able to buy things out right rather then try and put everything on credit searching for someone that will accept me. Thank you for dropping in on my diary it helps to feel like I’m not rambling just to myself 🙂 

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Posted : 26th May 2021 10:22 am
Herewegoagain20
(@herewegoagain20)

23 days and not gambled, struggling yesterday and today with lots of urges and just had such a bad feeling i needed to gamble so came straight on here for a ramble instead to pass the feeling.  Took my little boy away to Butlins on the weekend, my mum has her own caravan there so we go quite regularly , I was really nervous reguarding the arcades as before i could end up lots down chasing a £1 loss. I know it would have been easier to completely avoid but I have a 6 year old little boy with severe autism and development delay and he loves the flashing lights and excitement of the arcades, which I’m not going to lie this scares me as I would hate for him to follow in my footsteps and so I try to not go on the machines where you win money and instead stick to playing the ones where you win nothing instead (the driving simulators etc) with him. We got back Sunday and had a busy couple of days with school runs, work , the gym and housework and we are back away to the caravan for the bank holiday weekend on Friday so preparing for that too and trying to keep busy. I keep getting random thoughts way more then I have in the last few weeks of just having one last go on the slots, I know there is no such thing as one last go and I’d keep going but the urges are very real. Gamban is helping massively at the minute and not sure id be on 23 days if I didn’t install it. Anyway feel a little better now , going to try get some housework done before it’s time for school run and work. Another day that I’m staying away from gambling. 1 at a time. 

This post was modified 1 month ago by Herewegoagain20
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Posted : 26th May 2021 10:32 am
Herewegoagain20
(@herewegoagain20)

30 days today since I last gambled! 😀 it’s been tough some days with thoughts quickly popping into my head  but I’ve not been really tempted or even tried to gamble, pay day Friday and I still have a fair bit of money in my bank which is strange for me, especially after 2 weekends in a row at our caravan in Butlins with my little boy. We’ve been bowling and out for tea tonight the 3 of us and normally I’d panic at the thought of spending £80 on a night out but my head seems to be in a different place right now. I really am trying. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st June 2021 9:53 pm
Secretaddict
(@secretaddict)
Posted by: Herewegoagain20

30 days today since I last gambled! 😀 it’s been tough some days with thoughts quickly popping into my head  but I’ve not been really tempted or even tried to gamble, pay day Friday and I still have a fair bit of money in my bank which is strange for me, especially after 2 weekends in a row at our caravan in Butlins with my little boy. We’ve been bowling and out for tea tonight the 3 of us and normally I’d panic at the thought of spending £80 on a night out but my head seems to be in a different place right now. I really am trying. 

Yay! Well done that's super. You should be proud

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Posted : 1st June 2021 11:19 pm
Herewegoagain20
(@herewegoagain20)

Thank you 🙂

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Posted : 2nd June 2021 5:27 pm
Herewegoagain20
(@herewegoagain20)

33 days gamble free. We have been swimming and out for dinner today , making the most of half term and a weeks annual leave. Lots of spare money not wasted on gambling that instead is been spent on making memories. How it should have always been. 

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Posted : 4th June 2021 8:25 pm
Secretaddict
(@secretaddict)
Posted by: Herewegoagain20

33 days gamble free. We have been swimming and out for dinner today , making the most of half term and a weeks annual leave. Lots of spare money not wasted on gambling that instead is been spent on making memories. How it should have always been. 

Well done on 33days. Makes it so much easier being able to enjoy family time without the worry of spending money that we would normally priotise for gambling and chasing losses.

Carry on making those memories 😊

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Posted : 4th June 2021 9:02 pm
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