Day 3

The early days feel so liberating but those gambling thoughts creep in when you least want them to.

one day at a time.

sorting debts out is not as daunting as first seems, they can only have back what you can afford and not a penny more.i always play fare and it’s usually mutual, credit card debt is the killer, if you can get the interest frozen it makes a huge difference, you need to lay it on with them and at times they do play ball.

good luck , 

Thanks for this words of advice holycrosser.

Today is day 10, hitting the double figures, yesterday was the first day where I haven't thought about gambling at all, no urges, no regrets, a whole day of looking forward. So onto today and another day of no gambling..

Have a wonderful day 

Day 11, 

What a rollercoaster the last 11 days have been, started with despair and the desire to beat this, went into further despair and realisation that gambling had confused my head, arguably worse than any financial impacts. Now into a place where I have forgiven myself and looking forward.

Feeling good and determined to beat this, my personal motto when I have the urge is...what would one gamble do ...what would it give me....win or lose, the only outcome is a trail of pain...that soon makes me snap out of the daze 

Day 12 arrives...

I feel things are now getting more balanced. The only thing playing over is trying to rationalise why oh why did I do it.

No urges to gamble...plenty of thought in how quickly can I clear these remaining debt and how's shrewdly can I live for 2 years in order to achieve this.

Hoping this awful weather clears so that I can spend some time outside today.

To all of us father's, today is a great day to focus our minds on the future and make sure we focus on what we have......the future friend and not the past enemy 

Don’t look back , we are both on a long road of our making .

keep focused, keep busy and never let the demon tempt you.

it will keep at you so be on guard 

So day 13, yes day 13...seemed impossible to myself on day 1...but now the urges are less and the will power more, finally have a solid foundation, blocks in place and the will to beat this.

Reading the stories of so many others makes us realise that this really can rip into anyone and destroy a life.

So today I will choose life.

Day 14, 

Feeling great, starting to really focus on moving forward, set myself a debt free target date of 1100 days by paying token payments and then lump sun full and finals.

I've achieved 1 per cent of this time....a block to build on...and my mind is clearing, having a clear mind is more important to me than any financial issues.

Have a great day

it Seems a long road mate but remember what awaits you at the end of it, hope.

keep going

Thanks for commenting, helps me to keep it going.

Posted by: Hullbo

Day 14, 

Feeling great, starting to really focus on moving forward, set myself a debt free target date of 1100 days by paying token payments and then lump sun full and finals.

I've achieved 1 per cent of this time....a block to build on...and my mind is clearing, having a clear mind is more important to me than any financial issues.

Have a great day

Being away from gambling even for a short time allows us to see thing's much more clearly and make far more Rational decision's about our future .

Two week's is a great foundation from which to build upon Hullbo , well done my friend and keep pushing forward to achieve your goal 🙂 

Best wishes 

Alan  

Thanks Alan,

The decision we make during gambling have no rationalisation behind them at all.

We wouldn't got buy a doughnut from Harrods as it costs more than tesco, but in gambling we would smash hundreds on a number in the HOPE it came in, ridiculous when clear headed and away from it all.....gamstop really enabled me to make the two weeks, previous to that I would of been tempted back in early in the timeframe....a remarkable and much needed tool

Day 15.....another day....another gamble free day....it gets easier but you have to be in constant guard for the what if or the moment of weakness.

15 days with losing a penny....I couldn't of imagined getting to 1 day let alone 15 when I came out of my last lapse, head spinning, thinking the walls had caved in.

The last one was different....I did not lose every penny, and still have money in my pocket, massively different to my previous lapses where I lost absolutely every penny I had.

This one hurt more mentally having shot up and then lost the lot...but I feel that has actually taught me more than ever that I have to quit....

I cannot stop and the haze will take your future if you let it....look forward and not back.

Have a great day

Day 16....

Well yesterday I survived, purposely set out to survive yesterday as ascot was on.

I wanted to face into it. I put the TV on as I finished work early and watched a couple of races.....didbt feel like gambling at all...so feel that is progress....looked at the odds and thought how did I get sucked in on that.

This approach probably isn't advisable for all, but I wanted to actually test my resolve and see where I was really at with it safe in the knowledge that gamstop would of prevented me even if I had got the urge.

Have a wonderful day

Day 17, almost forgot to log on and do the diary today, but made myself a promise that this is forever and so feel it important to keep my aim in place and keep the diary going. Thoughts of gambling are not in my mind now, focusing on paying the debts off and the future.

Determined to not let the demon tempt me again.

Stay strong

Day 19,

Completely missed yesterday as I had a hectic day, days which used to feel so empty without gambling are now filling up with other things, which is good as the urges do not come.

Stay strong