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Day 2 of being honest  

 
New chapter
(@new-chapter)

I posted my story in the beginners section of this forum yesterday. Basically I gambled away 11000 in one sitting and lied to my partner about it 2 years ago hoping it'll all be forgotten about over time. I came clean about it yesterday because I couldn't hold it in anymore. At the moment I don't know what's happening with us. I've broken her trust and I hate myself for it. Been in something of a self loathing state since yesterday and havnt been saying much. I woke up to see she's still here which is a huge relief. Over the weekend I plan on telling my family. I do worry that none of them will look at me the same again and that I'll become "that idiot" that my fiancé's wasting her time with. But I need to confront this head on. I havnt gambled online since the loss 2 years ago and feeling the way I do now, I never will again. Its just not worth it! I can't handle this level of shame and self hatred. My life is too good right now to gamble with our futures. I just hope I can regain the trust of my loved ones when this is all over. I know it won't happen overnight, just going to take it one day at a time. Since joining this forum last night I can see that a lot of people are in similar situations which I am so grateful for. Your courage in telling your stories has given me the courage to confront my own. Thank you all so much. 

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Posted : 5th June 2020 12:04 pm
Kevthekev40
(@kevthekev40)

Your no idiot you show me one person who's not messed up in life and I will show you a statue or a lie, well that's how I feel to me your a brave and honest man you didn't have to let the cat out the bag. But you choose to have a happy gamble free life with your future wife as you deserve it my friend 

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Posted : 5th June 2020 10:58 pm
New chapter
(@new-chapter)

Thanks 🙂 definately feel so much relief and optimism now. I can move on with my life without guilt or shame holding me back. Owning up to this has helped me see that I can be so much happier in my future. This forum has helped me see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Your bravery and honesty has really helped, and I look forward to posting more about my recovery. Bless you all! 

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Posted : 6th June 2020 3:59 pm
Kevthekev40
(@kevthekev40)

Well done my friend keep it up and enjoy your life gamble free no lies to mess up your life plus money in your pocket as gambling companies don't care how you feel or what your going through. But it will always effect you and play games with your head. Stay true to yourself and be gamble free look at me I'm sat here waiting on a church dropping food off how embarrassing I feel such a failure. Be strong and live your life to the full

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Posted : 6th June 2020 4:08 pm
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