Just signed up to gamstop for 5 years to ensure there's as many blocks as possible in place to prevent me slipping back. I've ordered a journal off amazon so that I can record my feelings and progress. I'm planning on being as open as possible with my fiance about this, and giving her total access to this, so she can see I'm trying my best. I know I need to do this for me, but I want her to never have to worry about anything like this happening again. Planning on telling my family about this tomorrow. Feeling quite anxious about it, but it's something I have to do. Lockdown is making things a lot easier for me at present because there's no temptation from the bookies or pub poker machines. When the pubs reopen I'm going to avoid pubs with gaming machines and just try to enjoy company of friends and family. Going to speak with my fiancé's mother over the weekend too. I lied directly to her face when I lost 11000 2 years ago, saying I got a huge tax bill. Expecting some anger and disappointment, but I know I need to be honest. Still dealing with a lot of feelings of self loathing, but I know this will get easier over time as long as I am honest with myself and my fiance.
Telling people is the right thing to do and you know that in your heart.
The addiction wants secrets and you have to fight this addiction with the strongest born again moment you can have.
The truth has to come out so you the people you love can be protected. In turn they can help you with the reality checks and the monitoring needed.
Your new life will be not giving any establishment with machines in them your business. You will have better things to do
Its understandable to me that the addiction made you lie as it did with countless others. It really is the nastiest most insidious addiction out there in my view because its accepted by society as entertainment and people just being a bit greedy.
Its actually a drug addiction in the way it works but the government allow alcohol and cigarettes to be pushed at people so its no surprise this whole charade is legal.
You are aiming for a pride and serenity in doing the right thing. You can never be complacent again but that is a positive statement to protect your lifestyle and that of those around you.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Thanks so much for the kind words. I'm looking forward to a brighter tomorrow now that I'm not longer dilluding myself. Everyone's honesty and bravery on this forum has given me what I needed to be honest with myself emotionally, and by extension my loved ones. I really can't thank you all enough. I look forward to posting updates about my recovery.
Thanks again 🙂