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Cc-Day 10 of recovery  

 
Movingon
(@movingon)

So ten days ago I came to this website hoping for support as I had onced again just gambled a monthly wage and got myself into further debt. I enrolled in the CBT course and put gamstop in place. I come here everyday just to read and relate to people's experiences and stories and it has been a lifeline to know that I am not in this alone. I have spoke to CBT Councillor and are working through some modules to change my mindset.

I still think about gambling everyday. But I am now starting to recognise my triggers and learning to keep my mind active when I feel triggered. For the first time in months I have been able to concentrate on reading a book and I dont seem to be dwelling on the situation I am in just now (debt) , I seem to be thinking of what I want in my future. I know, i know it's only been 10 days and I have a hole  lot of hurdles to get through before I get to the point I am anywere near ready to get over this addiction but for the first time in what feels like forever I don't see gambling as my way out of debt. Payday is coming up next week and in the first time I cannot gamble, I have no choice now blocks are in place I know it will be difficult as I will still have the feelings of wanting to gamble there but I'm also intrigued to find out how I will feel at the end of this month. 

 

 

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Posted : 19th November 2020 10:37 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

Hello movingon and welcome.

Keep talking it through with everyone you can. Its about gradually easing the mind and building a healthy mind in steps

The key is that you can never be complacent again but I promise that in time you will just shrug gambling thoughts off because you will be stong and healthy enough to reject gambling as the waste of time and money that it is.

The most important thing is finding a peace with yourself. Be at peace to let it go gently and not get worked up about anything.

With your reality exercises you cant tell anyone its an income scheme because it never was. Talk through a gambling session with non gamblers to remind yourself that it was nothing but misery and it certainly didnt pay off.

Your actions will make no sense to them but thats good because you are facing the reality of it .When addicted you had no control and you were ignoring the odds from the start. Its set up to make the gambling dens money...all the real risk was with you so it wasnt even a fair challenge.

You were actually gambling with your mental health your relationships, the roof over your head...your self respect.... your dignity...thats what you were giving away.

It was way more than the money which is why the money just becomes tokens for an addict to feed the habit...until you come down off the trip and realise you needed to feed yourself and money doesnt grow on trees outside

An addiction so strong that we were back doing the same thing again and again...see how it makes no sense unless you see it as a craving for the strong drug of gambling activity

Its NOT a way out of debt and it was NEVER an income scheme.  It would be like your boss or work client saying they are going to pay you on a spin of the wheel. Gambling is random events when you need stability in your life

You can get financial advice and look at this in a new way You need a new relationship with money and start cherishing the money you have.

Please tell people close and set something up so you are living on a sandwich and petrol allowance.

Its good that you cant gamble...very good indeed! Strengthen your blocks!

Your journey of recovery will be realising who you are and your vunerabilities. The addiction will try not to let you go but its a deadly dangerous addiction which you must reject...Its a drug addiction in the way it acts

Abstention seriously about saving any quality of life for your future. Its not too hard with the right help and support

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

This post was modified 5 days ago 2 times by Joydivider
ReplyQuote
Posted : 19th November 2020 11:58 pm
Movingon
(@movingon)

Thank you, this was a great read and I have took many points away from it. I have a relative who I now speak to about gambling, she does not understand it but she is there for me and supports me. I will keep working on my mindset and strngthening the gambling blocks. Thank you

ReplyQuote
Posted : 20th November 2020 9:05 am
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Hi movingon, the only people who really understand compulsive gambling are compulsive gamblers. Therefore have you thought about GA? The " been there got the t shirt " of the other people there will give you that support, understanding from people that " know" so valuable, has really helped me.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 20th November 2020 10:42 am
Movingon
(@movingon)

Sorry for late reply Charlie boy, I know exactly what you mean people who don't have gambling problems just think you can stop and that's it. What they don't understand as that it's always there in the back of your mind. I ha d been to GA meetings before they really helped, the people I met there were fantastic in helping me through a really dark place, I think just now with covid I would not go but I will attend onced we are back to some normality. However foe now I am getting so much from this website and my counselling sessions. 

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Posted : 22nd November 2020 11:11 pm
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