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Back here again 10 years on  

 
got2bdone
(@got2bdone)

Although I've never really kicked gambling it's crazy to log back in and see that I'm still facing the same problems 10 years later.

Since then, it's gone from being a problem of a couple of hundred to losing over £35k last month. No idea financially how I'll get out and I'm going to lose family and friends as a result, so really is looking bleak. 

 

However, I know that if it's the moment I kick the habit, it will be cheap at the price. Massive if but that's all I have to work towards at the moment so I'm holding onto it. 

Today marks day 4 of the rest of my life gamble free. That means no lottery, poker, racing, social betting, competing for prizes, nothing. 

 

Going to spend the next month working to understand the disease more as well as take counselling and speak regularly with people on the other end of the phone about my addiction and do literally all I can to fight it. 

 

Wish me luck.

Quote
Posted : 15th June 2020 3:26 pm
Kevthekev40
(@kevthekev40)

Gottobedone I feel your pain 

It doesn't matter how long you've had the problem it's always there in the back ground and one Thing is 9we always loose the money one way or the other. I'm glad your gf again my friend and your taken the help that's there because we need all the help we can get,  mine was that bad a week back that I found myself getting 2 food parcels from a church,  I felt so ashamed but I left us with nothing as after being gamble free for over a year I went online and 1hr later you know the story I had lost nearly  £8000 that I never had , so it drained my partners bank and left us with nothing and still a massive amount to pay off. So keep up the good work and remember how evil and addictive our addiction is. Good luck my friend 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th June 2020 4:23 pm
duncanmac
(@duncanmac)

Hi gottobedone

welcome to the forum, I won’t wish you luck on your life moving forward because like me you probably ran out of that some time ago.

 I returned to recovery in the past few months for the last time, I have been here on the forum for the past eight years or so and I had never taken the steps to truly accept that I have wagered my last punt.

 I have self excluded from every bookmakers in the areas where I could gamble and have fully relinquished control of my finances to my wife, equally I have sought professional help and returned to the GA rooms.

 I admit finally that gambling’s had me licked, taken all I have to give and now I’m happy to commit to recovery and as a result rediscovery as a result.

 The cost of my last episode of gambling came with a set of truly life changing circumstances. I have moved out of the family home, the relationship I have with my son’s will never be the same again, I have changed jobs and I have stripped myself bare, no more lies, no more running from situations that I accept are of my creation.

 I am rebuilding the relationship with my wife as a result, I am truly humbled that she has chosen to support me and in doing so I believe that she is recovering from a life of addiction as well, we have been together for 28years and I have gambled compulsively for more than 20 of those.

today I have a better understanding of why I run to addiction, today I believe I can become the best version of myself as a result.

I hope that you find the same belief for yourself, give yourself the best opportunity, self exclude and be honest with everyone, the money is gone, accept that and take the opportunity to live without further loss.

you may be surprised at the reaction of the folk who you hold dear, addiction is not something you choose, it holds no prejudice about who it seeks. It’s destruction runs deep.

most of all be kind to yourself, take a deep breath, build on those 4 days, turn that mantra upside down 

I did win because I did stop.

just for today 

Duncs 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th June 2020 4:24 pm
got2bdone
(@got2bdone)

Thanks for the kind responses.  

It's tough but in a way (as you sort of say) the only way I could maybe accept defeat and truly move on was when it got to a catastrophic point. I'm more than there now. 

I'll share a bit more about my story as I progress and wish you both well in your own individual recoveries. 

 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th June 2020 5:56 pm
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