Back from the Brink

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(@hullbo)
Posts: 72
 

Stay strong...GameStop is just wonderful as a fail safe, you've done so well...playing imaginary money is dangerous, as it is killing your senses.

You can do this and well done on keeping the diary going 

 
Posted : 11th June 2019 7:39 pm
Michael35
(@michael35)
Posts: 707
Topic starter
 

Day 90

Had a few gambling thoughts in the last few days. Although with blocks in place, taking it one step further is not an option. These stupid thoughts will wash over.

 
Posted : 13th June 2019 6:12 pm
Michael35
(@michael35)
Posts: 707
Topic starter
 

Day 93

Had a busy weekend, with a load of DIY tasks, ferrying my kids around, and some tough training sessions. Also some good news in that some overtime is available, so another few thousand off the debt.

Not enough time to consider Gambling.

 
Posted : 17th June 2019 6:11 am
Michael35
(@michael35)
Posts: 707
Topic starter
 

Day 95

Big milestone coming up. Opportunities coming up in the next 6 months to knock around a quarter of the CC bills down. The aim is to have no CC’s by 2021 - which will be the first time in 20+ yrs.

 
Posted : 19th June 2019 7:05 am
(@hullbo)
Posts: 72
 

Great news, I am also aiming to be clear by the end of 2021...so I'll keep checking up to make sure we both achieve this...you can do it.

 
Posted : 19th June 2019 7:48 am
Michael35
(@michael35)
Posts: 707
Topic starter
 

Day 97

Can’t get complacent. Looking back through my diaries, I’ve been at 98 days twice before before falling off the wagon. By Monday, I’ll be at 100 days which is the 4 longest period of abstinence since falling prey 11 years ago. I’ve previously been 211, 516 and 1265 days. Anyway, debts down to lowest level in 11years is an extremely doable target for the next 6-12 months.

 
Posted : 21st June 2019 10:59 am
Michael35
(@michael35)
Posts: 707
Topic starter
 

Day 100

Big milestone. I've only been able to say that I've been 100days GF on 3 other occasions. Obviously very pleased with where I am now, but there's alot of hard work ahead. Not only to stay gamble-free, but to stop moping around, to stop putting things off until tomorrow, and to actually get off my a**e and start achieving things again ... doing all of that stuff that I've been too lazy in the past to do.

I'm fast approaching 50yrs old but I still have bags of energy, and I truly believe that there's so much more I could be achieving. Like to start treating work as a career again, and not just a job, or to run that sub 3:30 marathon, or visit all those places I've dreamt of going to, or to rid myself of the shackles of debt once and all doable in the next 5 yrs, just shy of 2000 days.  

 
Posted : 23rd June 2019 8:21 pm
Sharon41
(@sharon41)
Posts: 859
 

Congratulations on 100 days! I happened to start reading your diary during my break at work yesterday and could relate totally. It's taken me a while to work out that I gambled as a form of self punishment, knowing it would cause disaster but carrying on. Working through those feelings has helped me a lot. Here's to another 100 days and beyond S 🙂

 
Posted : 23rd June 2019 8:31 pm
Rob71
(@rob71)
Posts: 283
 

Good work. I’m not far behind you so let’s just see this as small milestone on our journey to achieving much more.

 
Posted : 24th June 2019 6:58 pm
Michael35
(@michael35)
Posts: 707
Topic starter
 

Day 104

Stopped myself looking at my finances during the last 3 months, just paid min payments + £500 extra/month. Purposely didn’t look at the whole picture during last 100 days, but totalled the combined debt up yesterday and got a minor shock. In the time that a lot of our friends are starting to become mortgage and debt free, we’re completely at the other end of that journey. A very long road ahead.

 
Posted : 27th June 2019 6:05 am
Michael35
(@michael35)
Posts: 707
Topic starter
 

Day 107

Ok, CC debt gone by Dec 2021 is the target. No ifs or buts this time around.

 
Posted : 30th June 2019 7:48 am
Michael35
(@michael35)
Posts: 707
Topic starter
 

Day 108

Snapped last night. This has been brewing for weeks. Went nuclear with wife and eldest resulting in momental row, which resulted in me storming out the house and my eldest locking me out ! My daughter was beside herself - once again, it’s always the same, take take take, then outburst from me resulting in me ending up in the bad books. Same cycle every time ending up with me questioning my parenting skills. Last night took it too a whole new level. Really can’t be a****d with any of them at the moment.

 
Posted : 1st July 2019 9:51 am
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 5946
Admin
 

Hi Michael35,

I am concerned to hear that it escalated to an argument last night. It sounds like it may have been upsetting for all 3 of you. I can imagine that it is extremely stressful for anyone to be asking you for money if you are currently in debt. Please don't give up if you are doing well with staying gambling-free. Feel free to contact us on the Helpline 0808 8020 133 or Netline so that you can speak to an Adviser one-to-one. It may help to off-load some frustrations to a confidential third party. If you have not already please do also consider a referral for a one-to-one gambling-specific practitioner/counsellor in your area.

Best Wishes

Forum Admin

 
Posted : 1st July 2019 11:56 am
Michael35
(@michael35)
Posts: 707
Topic starter
 

Day 113

Ok - Day 108 was it bad as it gets. The planets aligned and I lost it; more than I have ever done in my life. I felt like just walking out on my family, but soon realised that that wasn’t the answer. I’ve calmed down now, but still angry about it. We’re all now on speaking terms, the wounds are healing but I steadfastly refuse to get drawn into that situation again. 

Back to the here and some good news from work around overtime working means that might get CC debt shifted by end of next year.

 

 
Posted : 6th July 2019 5:50 am
Michael35
(@michael35)
Posts: 707
Topic starter
 

Day 116

Nursing a hamstring injury which has put paid to my half-marathon training for a week or two - recovery taking longer than in past years, but I guess it’s an age thing.

Dead quiet at work at the moment, so using the opportunity to learn some new skills, that will hopefully improve my CV and improve my financial situation. 

Everything settled back to normal at home after last week’s meltdown. 

Waiting for next pay day which including overtime which will go straight onto the credit cards. 

All-in-all, things appear to be moving in the right direction at moment.

 
Posted : 9th July 2019 6:14 am
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