I have a friend who has an issue with his drinking. He managed to land himself in hospital recently and that was a dramatic experience that opened my eyes to the serious problem he has .
When confronting him with the danger he is facing I can see how he will put every equation into play accept the fact that he needs to make a lifestyle change. I consider myself lucky that my own journey has opened my eyes to see how we function and how hard it is to see one's own faults unless you really want that change it won't happen. Brings a new perspective to the word rock bottom and it is a shame that it has to go that far for some but when you are caught up in your own lies you will have a hard time seeing outside of them.
I am now rethinking my relationship with my addicted friend. I will not be holding myself responsible for what happens to him from this point.
Best
C
I too have friends who are addicts.
There is only so much you can do for them.
It seems your friend is not still willing to face up to the situation they are in.
One of the most important attitudes to have when quitting is too realise that only you can change yourself.
It also no good looking for excuses and blaming others. You need to take ownership.
I'm a recovering compulsive gambler who took control 12 years ago.
One of my friends who is a compulsive gambler takes control but then keeps falling back.
I've given him advice many times over the years, but he never takes it or gets serious.
We are still friends but I now have given up giving him advice and instead say when you are really serious then talk to me about quitting, because until then, we are just going around in circles.
Well I feel we can only get through to a person who is ready to listen.
I think of an interview in which a famous comedian was telling the story that he couldnt get through to a famous singer who has now passed away due to an alcohol problem.
He said that you can only tell that person once or twice and then they have go their own way. I suppose it ends up making us ill with worry watching someone destroy themselves
Then again I think of another story where one singer said to another. Im booking you into rehab now...immediately and you have no choice in the matter.
What is the answer? Its extremely difficult. I think we have to say something and press the point.
I know that many gamblers are not ready to listen in the slightest. I suggested someone may have a problem and was met with a tirade of angry abuse. Some laugh or get really sarcastic but overall they do not like what they are hearing.
They dont really have a counter argument which makes any sense. They just get really funny and really awkward quickly which suggests that deep down they know its a problem. Its so twisted that one guy was telling me to grow up because he had lost a fortune in a day like it was a badge of honour. I wasnt big enough to be in his company is the point I think he was trying to make....nonsense really!
It happens with all the strong addictions. Class A addicts in a day care centre will act like the staff are the squares and the drug users are in the cool club who understand what life is really about. Its very odd to observe.
What more can I say? Addiction is an extremely controlling illness and we need all the help we can get to counter it and heal properly.
Best wishes to everyone on the forum
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