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Another go at stopping  

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Tommyt124
(@tommyt124)

Hello everyone well here I am once again trying to stop I normally go to g a but always get to point where I think I'm recovered. Over Christmas period all I've done is gamble I have a Mrs and children I've got gamstop but my friend let's me use is account he as now change the password so I can't go on and aswell as that I'm in tier 4 so it's impossible for me to have a bet. I feel so low I've got into debt so I can bet and spent my car insurance money for this month I've done all this before but always last 4 6 month and go back it's going to be hard this time I've planned stuff to do round house when not working and going get fit Im banning myself from all my local bookmakers soon as I can and I'm also taking away all sports on my virgin package I'm not a nice person at the min ignoring everyone getting angry I don't like that person and have to change and make a better life for myself and family 

 

Thanks for reading I'm going update for the next few week to help me 

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Posted : 1st January 2021 10:43 pm
Tommyt124
(@tommyt124)

I haven't really give any story I will had a little bit each time I write today is my first day stopping again. I started gambling when I was 16 going to footy with my mates we use to do a acca before game and me and my friend had a couple of quid on a dog I remember it well and the rush from it winning was unreal it was last coming round final bend and got in front on the line there is other small things when I was a child what was a big sign but never thought anything of it from that day the dog winning my life changed for ever so it's day 1 3 o'clock I will admit I'm finding it really hard but I've been out took my Mrs and kids out with dogs to kill some time in the snow I will do my best and get through day one feel like a could just cry but today I'll stay strong and fight the addiction 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 2nd January 2021 2:57 pm
Soysauce147
(@soysauce147)

Hi Tommy,

I am no expert, however, I do have a few suggestions:

1. Buy yourself a copy of Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters, as he explains the monkey self, you and the computer in detail. It costs around £6.99 - perhaps the best investment made. The monkey self loves to gamble...

2 Look some Utube clips from recovery gamblers, type in Only Phil on Utube.

3. Replacement for your gambling, such as take short walks etc Anything  that is counter productive.

4. Sign up with all gambling sites and barred yourself for maximum amount of time. Additionally,  sign with a bank that bars gambling transactions, such as Monzo. While on Monzo, creat a paying pot that pays yourself £1 daily for not gambling. So, in a year you should see £364 in a pot paid to yourself and treat yourself with this money.

5. Albert Einstein onced said: if you do something over and over, you'll get the same result.

As well as these tips, you can also attend GA meetings and introduction of the 12 steps.

Best of luck with it all.

 

Regards 

Xoi

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 2nd January 2021 11:41 pm
Tommyt124
(@tommyt124)

Hi soy sauce thankyou for your reply  and advice I have started to put blocks in place I'm interested in the book you have told me about I will look at purchasing this in the very near future.

Day 2 feel better today I don't feel as anxious and have got quite a few plans in place will update later with some more of my story amd how the day as gone 

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Posted : 3rd January 2021 10:13 am
Tommyt124
(@tommyt124)

Still day 2 today as been a lot better kept busy and starting a diet with the Mrs to shift a few pound I thought I'd share bit more of my story as to what got me in such a mess. 

I was 18 at college and doing a part time job at maccies I got ema and a wage from maccies I went in the bookies to put a footy bet on for the first time on my own I was skint till pay day and went in with 2 pound I seen the fobts for first time and thought I'll put it on red and if I get double up I'll do a 4 pound footy bet or nothing that's what I'd always been like all or nothing any way it came in red so I got a bit more cocky and starting putting a few numbers on I missed college that day amd came off with 250 pound which was one of the worst things that could of ever happened to me I automatically thought I could do this each time how wrong was I.

Anyway day 2 and gamble free 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 3rd January 2021 8:01 pm
Tommyt124
(@tommyt124)

Day 3 off to work first day back after 2 week off will update after and add to my story 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 4th January 2021 7:37 am
Soysauce147
(@soysauce147)

Keep up with the good so far.

Xoi

 

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Posted : 4th January 2021 8:49 am
Tommyt124
(@tommyt124)

Thanks for the support soy day 4 and feeling bit better nice not to have the stress of betting or worrying about what to bet on knowing will prob lose my money in very tired from work so going get kids in bed and have a early night it's so hard not gambling and I feel like giving up with everything but will carry on going 

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Posted : 5th January 2021 7:02 pm
Soysauce147
(@soysauce147)

Hi Tommy124, 

The Monkey self

The urge to gamble is the monkey self, not the real you. As you're fighting of the urges is like 1 person versus 4 people in a fight. That is why you need to put things in place such as self exclude from gambling sites etc. 

Have you sign up with Monzo bank that lives on your mobile phone? If you have a Monzo account,  you can create a pot that pays yourself £1 daily as a visual record.  My pot is £105 (105 days gamble free days) at the moment, so it is going to be £106 tomorrow.  

Xoi

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th January 2021 7:37 pm
Soysauce147
(@soysauce147)

While you noticed the urges then go and watch some Utube clips: Only Phil and The winning hand.

I hope this helps

Xoi

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th January 2021 7:40 pm
Tommyt124
(@tommyt124)

Thanks for the reply soy you have been a great help in these early days I'm with hsbc who have a gambling block I'm going to look at setting a pit up similar to your monzo one. I will take all the advice and look into you tube aswell

 

Day 5 today been at work all day I'm actually dieting aswell amd keeping fit so that's helping I'm early in and I've got every block possible at the min plus lock down helps I'm planning on doing some jobs round the house this weekend to keep busy. I feel a little bit lost and empty at min but know it can and will get better 

Hopefully tomoz will be a better day I'm thankful for having a great partner and kids and know I can do this 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th January 2021 6:27 pm
Soysauce147
(@soysauce147)

Hi Tommy124,

Many thanks for your message.  

It is highly important that you get the money side of things sorted, as well as blocks are in place- Gamstop and Gamban is downloaded on phone.

Time

Fill your day with small productive activities- like the house, garden, relationship, kids, friends etc. You can also discover new hobbies and interests which bring a smile on your face. Rediscover old ones as well. As you get used to the new changes, as a result, life will become more better for family in terms of emotional and well-being. 

More busy the day gets and your mind is less likely to wonder off. Just remember, when you get the urges: stop, and take a few deep breaths.  As time passes, you'll do this less and less.

The Rewards

You will soon start to noticed the little benefits from quiting gambling: your sleep easily at night without the stress. This is a bit down the line.

I hope this helps.

Xoi

Ps A thousand mile begins with one step

 

 

 

This post was modified 3 weeks ago by Forum admin
ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th January 2021 7:36 pm
Tommyt124
(@tommyt124)

Wow very wise words soy I will take everything you have said and thankyou very much you offer some great advice. 

 

Day 6 and I've been so busy at work and with home life today and tonight I've not really thought about gambling it's hard because I've got my self into a small mess with money and it's going take a while get strait. Last night I would normally watch the footy but didn't as I really want make big effort at stopping I did see some Facebook posts with winning bets from people I know which Brough a couple of small urges anyway tomorrow will be a week with out a bet under the belt and I'm proud of that onto another day g f 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th January 2021 8:38 pm
Soysauce147
(@soysauce147)

Evening Tommyt124, 

I am glad that you find the information useful. If you do lose track, please refer to these notes.

Remember the urges come and go, and get into a habit of recognised and acknowledged it. Mark it, as it has been bookmarked. The bookmarking process is the replacement for your gambling, for example, the urges come up rather than  placing a bet you do exactly the opposite like reading a small section of a novel where you left off, or take a walk for fresh air. It could be watching Utube clips on recovery gamblers such a Only Phil or The winning hand by TheRibackGroup. 

Keep up with the good work.

Xoi

Stay sane, safe, calm and take one day at a time

ReplyQuote
Posted : 8th January 2021 6:45 pm
Tommyt124
(@tommyt124)

Day 7 one week g f I after admit feels good I've had a lot of urges to gamble today I got in a rut of doing the same things so I would go to work take the family out and do what needed doing then that's it Friday night amd prob sat Sunday would be gambling days mainly football I would make sure I had bets what run through the day or the night and that would be me getting so frustrated if I lost I tried stopping about 2 years ago and did about 6 months a T thought I will try and control it this time amd managed to persuade other half I would be OK but always turns to the progressive disease it is and before you know it every spare penny and time is going on it I'm ashamed I'm a hard worker and a good person but when I'm gambling I become an awful person and selfish anyway I'm keeping this busy decorating main bedroom this weekend let's hope for a g f weekend 

 

 

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Posted : 8th January 2021 8:01 pm
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