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X M
 X M
(@x-m)

Well I had an incredible day yesterday with my beautiful girlfriend on her Birthday. Today she has met up with a friend and I went online and lost £700. I wish I was dead. I truly believe that's the only way I will be unable to gamble. 

 

By the way, gamblock is pointless. It doesn't even work properly .

Quote
Posted : 24th April 2019 3:19 pm
A 9
 A 9
(@alan-135)
Posted by: X M

Well I had an incredible day yesterday with my beautiful girlfriend on her Birthday. Today she has met up with a friend and I went online and lost £700. I wish I was dead. I truly believe that's the only way I will be unable to gamble. 

 

By the way, gamblock is pointless. It doesn't even work properly .

Hi there :)) 

The first day I came here was after sitting at my daughters birthday party a few day's earlier where hours before going I'd just googled " Painless way's to die " . 

I came here and  I saw someones word's  " Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem " ? , It is temporary my friend because as soon as you stop gambling those thoughts will stop too , I turned up here nearly 4yrs ago and I'm still about and I've not had abet since  so I guess I can testify to that ? 

Never used Gamblock but I'm sure there must be a reason why it didn't stop you gambling ? 

Maybe you should be asking yourself " Why I went on to look for sites to gamble anyway " ? , I'm not being disrespectful but if it's that bad then why have you still got access to fund's to gamble ? . 

My guess is you spent money on your girlfriends birthday , maybe a meal , day out or prezzie and you thought you'd go online and win it back ? , I know that's the way my mind would have worked back in the day :(( .

It's easy to lay blame and look for a scapegoat but it has to be first and foremost about you looking out for yourself and by that I mean putting everything between you and your next bet and talking yourself out of a bet by stopping and thinking about the consequences  of your actions ? . 

You can stop gambling my friend  you just have to want too more than anything :)) . 

I'm just off to work now but I'm around most day's if you need a chat, or just post and someone will respond I'm sure  .

Talk to you soon buddy 

Stay safe 

Alan 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 24th April 2019 3:59 pm
DeterminedDan
(@determineddan)
Posted by: X M

Well I had an incredible day yesterday with my beautiful girlfriend on her Birthday. Today she has met up with a friend and I went online and lost £700. I wish I was dead. I truly believe that's the only way I will be unable to gamble. 

 

By the way, gamblock is pointless. It doesn't even work properly .

Hello XM, I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had a relapse, especially after your good day yesterday. Get yourself signed up to ‘GamStop’. I’ve not used Gamblock myself, but I can assure you that GamStop works really well.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 24th April 2019 4:12 pm
Rams
 Rams
(@rams)

Hi X M

 

Have you heard of gamban? It’s gambling blocking software which can be used on 2/3 devices. It’s £9.99 for 12months, gamcare offer it for free if a admin can put up the link.. 

Make this day 1 with no gambling, we are all here to help & have all been there.

 

All the best 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 24th April 2019 4:47 pm
X M
 X M
(@x-m)

Oddly enough, I didn't even think about money I spent yesterday because it was all from a birthday fund I had saved. I just went to gamble because I'm an addict and as per usual, I was winning and then lost a lot. Shaking uncontrollably. I can't even begin to imagine going four years without gambling. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 24th April 2019 5:13 pm
A 9
 A 9
(@alan-135)
Posted by: X M

Oddly enough, I didn't even think about money I spent yesterday because it was all from a birthday fund I had saved. I just went to gamble because I'm an addict and as per usual, I was winning and then lost a lot. Shaking uncontrollably. I can't even begin to imagine going four years without gambling. 

Hi again :)) 

To be honest when I turned up here I couldn't have imagined going 4 day's without a bet as I was relentless , looking back it was my world , those around me unaware of my dirty little secret never when without but that's not the same as being there is it ? . 

I just began taking it one day at a time and although the early months were very tough at times I managed to not gamble,  mainly thanks to this place and staying close and chatting to people about my feelings and thought's .

I'd always failed before because I hated to lose and it wasn't until I finally let gambling win and didn't seek revenge for my losses that it all became easier . As I no longer wanted to beat gambling ( which I never could ) nor wanted to get my money back ( which I never could ) there was simply no point in going another ten round's with it all ? . 

It's pretty simple when I look at it now but it took me yrs to realise that was the only thought I needed to keep focused on .  I'm not saying that would work for everyone but the simple thing's together with bite size chunks and baby steps are sometimes all we really need ?

Life without gambling scared the shheeite out of me , it had always been there as a support when I didn't like something or something in life had upset me and I was definately scared of letting go , the truth is it's a bit like learning to swim when your a kid , you won't let go of the side for fear of going under but the day you do and realise you can float unaided .........well then you can go where you like :)) .  

Let go and try it for yourself ( and no telling me you can't swim ) :)) 

This post was modified 4 months ago by A 9
ReplyQuote
Posted : 24th April 2019 6:26 pm
Fifthteenthousand
(@fifthteenthousand)

Bro, take a step back and a few deep breaths. IT WILL BE OK!!! 

I literally lost 15k in a few hours one week ago today.... it get's easier - just need to go through the steps to put preventative measures in place. Own up to what you have done and get help. You're here and thats a great start!!

I was thinking the same thoughts as you last week so you're certainly not alone!!!

ReplyQuote
Posted : 24th April 2019 7:45 pm
X M
 X M
(@x-m)

I honestly can't swim. Is it symbolism that? 

I'm actually scared. It's pretty much impossible to win all my money back that I've lost over the years. My whole adult Life I have no clue what it's like to not gamble. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 24th April 2019 8:21 pm
X M
 X M
(@x-m)

Please can you tell me how you coped with losing so much? What did you do? How did you come to terms with it? 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 24th April 2019 8:22 pm
Fifthteenthousand
(@fifthteenthousand)

I've not really come to terms with it, I'm trying to. This forum has helped me a lot. I spoke over the phone and arranged counselling to help understand it. I've been here before just never lost so much but it keeps getting progressively worse so obviously I'm s**t scared of what will happen next if I don't get help and fully take control of the problem...

I have however accepted that the moneys GONE. It's my fault and I'm ready to own that. Thats really the first step. The second is making sure it doesn't happen again - I'm now doing everything I can following the advice of those that have walked the steps I wish to walk in the future.

I keep coming back here and engaging daily because I feel like if I don't do that I can slip into thinking gambling is something thats viable for me when it's not...

Hope you are ok and if not... it will be.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 24th April 2019 8:27 pm
X M
 X M
(@x-m)

It's brave. It's difficult. Coming to terms is very hard. I've never lost that amount in one sitting but have lost thousands and thousands throughout my Life. I'm used to losing. I am 37. I keep thinking how better I would be financially. I can't see things getting better right this minute. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 24th April 2019 9:52 pm
A 9
 A 9
(@alan-135)
Posted by: X M

I honestly can't swim. Is it symbolism that? 

I'm actually scared. It's pretty much impossible to win all my money back that I've lost over the years. My whole adult Life I have no clue what it's like to not gamble. 

I knew you'd say that :)) and yes it is symbolism :)) 

Of course your never going to win back the money you've lost and as I said you need to forget it and move on , even if you did by some miracle get it all back do you think for one minute you'd just walk away and never gamble again ? . 

You'd blow the lot again simply because you've a clean slate and addiction will tell you that last time you were unlucky but this time you'll know better and be able to control things and so the cycle repeats ?.

You have choices ? ......... You stop or you carry on but as Einstein said " The definition of madness is to keep doing the same thing over and over and expect a different outcome " .

ReplyQuote
Posted : 24th April 2019 10:10 pm
holycrosser
(@holycrosser)

It's tough to take,  the dedication needed to this will be immense. 

Good luck, want it and you can stop

ReplyQuote
Posted : 24th April 2019 10:40 pm
bdog
 bdog
(@bdog)

I've been a member here for a while and didn't really take it seriously.  I must've joined for a reason, but after a few relapses, I stopped visiting.  I've won and lost a scary amount of money (I'm 41, I'm not daft, I earn 50K+ a year and have been gambling my whole life, with little to show for it). 

Over the Christmas period I found myself here again and read a lot on here. Upon realization that I'll never win it back and should stop trying and stop thinking about what's gone and what could've been  (and actually it's not the winning I crave, it's the escapism) I took action.

I booked a family holiday as a surprise (spending a lot of the spare cash I had), I used Gamstop to block my laptop, ipad and phone and I self excluded locally. I set myself a challenge to do a week, then a month etc.. all with the initial aim of getting to the family holiday in July with spending money and feeling better about myself. I also check in weekly on here (Guru challenge) to seek the challenge alongside others.  I visit daily and I now enjoy feeding back to others in similar situations...it gives me strength. I have started new hobbies to beat the buzz and I'm watching sport again, for fun!

I'm about to move into month 5 gamble free and I won't lie, it wasn't easy at the start.  I felt guilty, unloyal and I didn't like myself. I was angry and in denial in equal measures.

It gets better.  I actually don't recognise a lot of those feelings now and I won't allow them to dictate my life. I'm a far happier person without gambling and the pride in taking action and sticking to it is as powerful a feeling as some of the other things I've mentioned.  You can do this by setting small goals, putting effective blocks into place (without them you'll find a way around them) and promising to check in here regularly.

I didn't think I could do it.  I'm not sure I've cracked it...but I'd like to challenge you to do similar.  Target 100 days and see where you are and how you feel.  Wake up everyday seeing it as a challenge.  What's done is done and tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

This post was modified 4 months ago by bdog
ReplyQuote
Posted : 24th April 2019 11:30 pm
X M
 X M
(@x-m)

Hello. Thank You for the message. 

I am going to try but I just can't imagine doing it. 100 days is a long time and three paydays. I don't earn that much money. I'm on two part time jobs and a big loss his really hard as I'm sure it does with everyone. 

I want to ask you something though. Say when you went 100 days gambling free, you would have saved a lot of money. Were you not tempted even more to gamble when you had more money?

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25th April 2019 10:30 am
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