All at sea diary  

Hi

  I have been a member of this forum  for nearly two months now , in that time i have remained  totally Gamble free . I used to post as the only way is up , but somebody had that name first ,with all the letters joined together !!  so to avoid confusion i changed my  user name . to all at sea . 

In the past seven weeks , i have come to terms with my addiction , and understand more as to why i used to gamble . Everybody is different , but i really do have an addictive personality .  [ be it  gambling , women [ in the past , when i was a full time entertainer ] , and binge drinking . plus  computer gaming  three times  i have been addicted to that . 

Today i had my third counselling session , via gam care , and i spoke about where i am atm . as i posed a question here  last night  [ via the chat line ]  stating , that i had started to binge drink,  [ a  couple of days a week ] and play a free computer game on my phone for long periods of time to fill the void . i don't work in the days much , due to my careers , its mainly nights . so gambling was to relieve boredom  in the main part . But also i have [ due to my gambling ,had no relationship's for 16 years [ out of choice , and situation ]. i have a" friend " who is a lot younger than me and we used to go out , but that ground to a halt this year ,hence my intensified destructive gambling this year , I've spent more in other years , but as a percentage more this year  than any other . 

So my points are , has anybody gained a secondary addiction after quitting gambling ? [ btw I've never smoked or taken any drugs ever ] and does the point about my isolated life , wasting my life away hoping for a relationship with someone who is not interested , or any similar experience , has that made people gamble .?

Clearly i have a self destruct mode .this year i went full on into gambling  and just chased wins that never came ,because i was depressed , BTW  i lost more money in Pubs on there Machines [ under the influence ] which i had never gambled on for 20 odd  years , than in the Bookies , they the pub ones are very destructive £1 a go . soon adds up , and they actually tell you in three spins or so you are Guaranteed to get on the win board or something , it really needs looking into . 

  ACTION ... I avoid all my local pubs now , i have excluded myself from where i used to Binge drink which was just one place my local club ., i emailed the developers of the I phone game i play ,stating i wish for my self to be blocked and all my data deleting , and i have been advised to , only reply to the girl who is not interested  in me on my terms , and to start focusing on my interests ,and career . 

It can only be that way , i have not got much atm but i do have money in my pocket [ literally ] . 

If anybody reading this , writes down what your triggers are , or if any of the above resonates . then it may point somebody in the right direction  . As I've mentioned in my posts , I've had a few lightbulbs go off reading stuff on here , i understand my posts are a rambling mess , as i type like i talk , but my intentions are sincere . 

If anybody can decipher this , good luck . and keep strong , i feel a lot better than seven weeks ago . but its one day at a time .