Hi fellow CG's
Thought I should check on how everyone is doing and quickly share my experience in the last 122days that I haven't gambled. My 4 months gamble-free life is thanks to a number of people here, @joydivider @chris-uk @charlieboy just to name a few.
I last posted 6 months ago after a relapse (almost 1oodays free before the relapse), I then went on for 2 month before another one in November last year blowing away £2500 in a couple of days. I was ashamed to post here, I dusted myself up and attended a GA meeting, that single session changed a lot in the sense that I saw first hand how seriously this addiction has to be taken, some of the folks drove miles to attend the meeting, it was the first time I was seeing 'real people' struggling with the addiction and sharing their experiences. I feel guilty that I haven't been back there but I joined the GA whatsapp group and have been participating.
I have doubled up my blocks and there are now multiple hurdles to cross before I can even get close to gambling - Gamban on phone, gamstop, no access to cash etc. I believe one things still tops the lot though, and that is the will. You have to want to stop otherwise they are no point. For me, I think I got to the point where enough was enough and now it is becoming easier to handle the urge.
Keep strong everyone.
Hi
Thats very good news!
Yes you do have to get to that point where enough is enough and then everything about recovery seems so right. As you say, its has to be taken so seriously in a learning process. An addiction so deadly that some people never reach that point.
A chink of light and then the light starts flooding in
Discuss things. Keep going with the GA group. You can feel support and give support to others just by being involved. I still remember the stories I heard there. Just facing people around you is a noble aim and helps put an end to the secrets and delusion.
What starts to take over is the truth that you are better then gambling and your life improves when free from it. You should already be seeing the signs you never needed gambling in your life and you were searching for something else through the drug of gambling.
Add some more exercises...sit down with a non gambler and go through what you were up to. Take pride in reporting how you are doing to your loved ones. It doesn't have to be a speech but it just reinforces the right behaviour and feelings of pride.
I learnt to live again which is why I talk about born again moments. I was extremely ill with addiction in 2015...a J****E with delusions that anything was normal!! I still dont fully understand how I could have been that ill and not cried out for help long before. That is a power I must fear and respect for the rest of my life.
I will certainly never be complacent about this again
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Hey Frogman, it's really great to hear from you I've often wondered how you were doing. You seem to have done a lot of soul searching and you've worked a way that's working for you. I agree with being in a room of other compulsive gamblers is powerful and you get that kinship that you can't get elsewhere. The only people that understand compulsive gamblers are compulsive gamblers ! I'm doing good gamble free for 10 months now I face the demon now and again a bad bout in January that I know would have ended in relapse were it not for strong barriers. That's what the barriers are there for isn't it? For those moments when things are tough and your chewing your fingers wanting to gamble. I'm so happy I couldn't gamble and I survived that episode and it actually increased my strength and resolve. There were so many positive things in your post and I'm so glad your more optimistic about a gamble free future. Take care and keep in touch I'm not on here as much now but I do log in most days and read reply when I've got something to give. It grounds me gives me a healthy reminder of how quickly the downwards spiral can happen and the destruction it causes and the I regularly attend GA via zoom atm to keep me in that loop of fellow compulsive gamblers
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