2021 MY AMBLE TOWARDS THE NOT GAMBLE

Thanks roch mate, really looking forward to the changes i'm aiming for taking place and bringing me forward in life.

So im 440 days into this gamble free run and boy do i feel better for it, healthier, less stressed, lighter, with more money, muturer etc.....

I feel like a completely different person..... In 2016 i was two stone heavier, smoking, drinking, playing poker in pubs  three nights a week, having to work full time with extra overtime too..... Was i happy, well i was at the time, but at times it was stressful and i couldnt see a way out..... I started each week wit high hopes for my gambling... then by the end of each evening i would say no more, no more gambling, no more drinking as it clouded my decisions, no more smoking as it was taking its toll on my health..

So here we are 5 years later and i got there slowly but surely i took control over these vices..... not by great planning more by luck but i did get there.... Smoking first (boy was that tough to stop but for anyone in the same boat as i was it is possible its mostly the nicotine we crave and nicotine gum relaxes you in the same way so get yourself some then slowly reduce the gum)......Alcohol second (again thru need more than anything) i was finding it didnt do anything for me well it was it was making me put on weight and clouding my mind, drinking coinsided with an episode so i stopped August 2018 and havent had a drop since......Gambling third.....In july 2018 just before i gave up drinking I was playing poker in pubs and working full time, i feel i was struggling at work as i was out late at night on weekdays playing poker and getting stressed about the gambling.... I was put under performance management and i feel they wanted to get rid of me and that was the way they would do it....they sent me an e mil each day for months saying what i had done wrong the day before..... Then one afternoon think it was a sunday i went to the club and played on a fruit machine untill i could no longer withdrawell in money 300 pounds......That was the last straw i had to borrow some money from a frie

friend (first time ive ever borrowed money in my life)......  Then to cut a long story short i had an episode whilst on holiday and then had to have six weeks off work.....

When i went back to work the stress of being under preformance management and my lifestyle had to change so they said they would sweep it under the rug if i done just the portering for a new manager and not work in supplies anymore.....

I was very pleased with this and as i hadnt drunk, smoked or gambled thru these six weeks and had had some grand thoughts based around religion and spirits i took it as the start of something new...... a new era of my life.....were i could have the chance of a better lifestyle and live without soo much stress!!!!!

So 

So its pretty much exactly 2.5 years to the day when i was in this bad way....and this new lifestyle has moments of wanting and reminiscing about the vices but on the whole i am happy with how my life is going.

I've lost weight through these two years by going to the gym and now im taking it a step further by watching wat i eat...

Are we going to go back to normal lives or have our lifestyles changed forever!!!!

Hello dear diary!!!!

I have a couple of really positive things to share today.

1) I hve walked 22k already this week, 26 is the target for the week so 4k tonight or tomo to go.

2) Weighed myself after my walk today and even after a hefty full english luch (for protein of course lol) i weigh 12 stone 9 and a half pounds.  So if i lose two and a half pounds more say three to be under then im not overweight anymore according to my bmi.  My target at mo is to get there and then afterwards to get to the target it said on the health bbc website which was 12.2 stone so that will be the aim for september.

3) Had my review at work this week and there wasnt a negative in it.

They aid that i work hard, had achieved all my objectives, that they hear good things about me from around the hospital, that i dont look to be told what to do i do it on my own innitiative.  They said they had looked into a senior porter position for me but there isnt such a thing.

So really pleased with that.

Hi adam, great ! very positive post. Very hard job but very rewarding, long may things go your way. You're putting in the hard work to recovery and life in general and it's showing. People who are struggling out there...Keep trying ....Keep aspiring to be the best version of yourself

"When you do your best, things will turn out for the best", and it's true Adam. It's great to read this positive affirmation of a life well lived. 

Hi Charlieboy and roch, thanks for popping by, it really cheers me up when i see a post on my diary.... Just went for 3.8k walk with mum for an hour....Now chilling.....back to work tomo... was a pretty nice weekend, lovely weather to be fair.

All the best adam 

Really gonna work on my weight again as ive taken a step ack in recent months.  I'm going to work on my diet by eating more fruit again as snacks and try to not eat crisps and chocolate.  Im also going to walk back from work about 3k each day its not raining.  As its not too hot at the moment its the perfect time to start this.  

OPERATION 12.7 STONE ILL CALL IT

I'm with you Adam.  Operation 12st 10. 

Weekly sunday update.

Walked 31k this week by best yet helped by the 7.7k i did on monday which was achieved by walking 3.7k home from work.  I may do this a couple of times next week to up my ks.

Weighed myself today and im 12 stone 12 pounds.  Now this doesnt seem too good but ive really relapsed on my snacks this week.  Ive eaten at least two packs of crisps a day this week nd a chocolate bar each day or two.  So i feel the exercise i the only reason my weight hasnt gone up too much this week.  So it's good to have something to work on next week!!!!

Vices wise everything great, no alcohol, no gambling and no smoking, all easily achieved now, i don't even think about doing these now i seem to be on autopilot.

Hobbies wise i can't wait for the gym to open normally again so i can join up again.... Health suite in summer, treadmill walking and slowly work on strength thru rowing and weights (i will speak to my physio about this in a couple of weeks to see if that's possible).

Mental health wise, i've had to take extra medication overnight 9 times in jan and feb due to voices.  Everytime this has happened during the weekends which is good as it means im not tired for work but i cant help but think it could be brought on like roch said by late nights and extra caffiene.  Who knows but thankfully it hasnt been a problem for work.

Work wise had my review and it couldnt have gone better..... although id like to be a senior porter rather than just  aporter but they say that is not a position they have.  New manager soon and its all change at work, weekly new nhs contracts, privte work all changing and people on furlough, coming off furlough, joining from gyms etc, changing in job responsibilities etc its all go and all change but im coping well and also im not taking the gossip in or getting involved with it as much im just as my mum says listening, taking it all in but not saying anything...  HEAR ALL, SEE ALL AND SAY NOTHING, my new moto and it works.

All the best adam xxxx

I like your motto Adam, Hear All, See All and Say Nothing.  The best way to navigate life 🙂 Your mum is spot on 🙂

Hi roch thanks for popping by.  From events today at work its a great move but one that sometimes is very difficult to do.

Sometimes you feel compelled to speak and put your foot in it.  Other times you say nothing and get stepped all over.   But people older than ourselves have life experience and with that experience comes wisdom.