2021 MY AMBLE TOWARDS THE NOT GAMBLE

Adam,

May you have many more good starts to your week, you've earned them. The world is your oyster.

Best

Al

Thanks Al for popping by.

Last couple of nights I've spent typing up a weekly timetable for jobs for new porters at work, not something I've been asked to do or been paid to do but I thought it would help so I did.

Now I didn't think anything would happen about my email I sent to the director about paying for experience.  But yesturday my managers manager asked to see me, she said can u close the door, I thought ooo. No what is this gonna be?  She said just to let you know we haven't forgotten about you're pay query it's in the directors hands.

Then today we got in a private room and I thought ooo no what's this? Allways paranoid lol, then she said we have got authorisation to pay you 9.50p per hour!!!  Up 42p.  Amazing huh.

It means an extra fifty pounds a month in my pocket for bills and food and maybe I can save a bit more now.....  Really chuffed......

Weight wise just weighed myself and I'm 13.3 at end of day..... Not weighed in morning yet have to see result on Sunday.

Food today same as previous but spag bol for dinner with 25grams less spaghetti.

All in all a great day.

All the best Adam xxx

Adam,

The underlying thoughts your posts leave all of us with are those of triumph against all odds, hope & optimism. How wonderful that you of all the porters in all those in the management areas stand out to the point where they feel you're worth more than anyone else doing the same job. It shows your dedication, eye for detail & determination to deliver a quality of service that stands out above all others. I share your joy & will continue to do so with every GF day.

When the going gets tough you inspire us, when we want to stop you encourage us & when when we think we can't get over the winning line you convince us we can. Every one of your posts is a beacon of light for those struggling with addiction. Couple of knock downs & silver medals on the way but at last earning the golds you truly deserve. You're loved & respected on this forum.

Thanks For Letting Us Share Your Progress

Best

Al

I love that post, I really love that post!!!! Many thanks Al xxxx

So weighed myself this afternoon after a very very long sleep last night (woke up 145pm lol) and I'm 13.150 so .025 less than last week.  Was aiming for some pound loss each week but at least it's going down.  Looking in the mirror my stumachs pretty much gone now and that was my major objective for all this so that's great.

Planted a red Robin I think it was called today, sawed off some ivy from our big tree in garden and cut down another bush in prep for planting something else.  Good prep for when I'm doing work in my new garden.

T minus eight weeks till I get my flat back!! Lots of preparation needed.  Lots to do when it comes round.  But I've got three weeks off for decorating  but can do at weekends too if it's not at that stage by that time.

Plan of action:

Get keys.

Sign everything.

Look at state of everything and plan needs.

Prob get ceilings replastered first 

Then re paint all walls.

Then do floors.

Work from top to bottom I guess.

Then order everything..... Sofa, microwave, toaster, kettle, coffee table, rug, etc one thing at a time.....

Then the big move... .hire a van and move bed, tv, stereo etc clothes, thinking about it I haven't got masses of stuff.

Then sort of internet and bills.

Then settle in!!!!!!

Then sort garden.

It's all a huge project.... Will take many months of hard work and expense...  But will no doubt be worth it.

Then onto my new 2022 diary I'll call it "2022 Not So New, but we'll overdue!!!!! A year where I can work on being independent, a brand new challenge, and one that I am looking forward to!!!

All the best Adam xxx

Weighed myself weekly update:

I'm 13 .275 today up a pound from last week...   Not good news but I'll stick to the task.  Just went for a 3.78k walk to help a bit.

So today's marks world mental health day and as this is the case it seems natural that I would find it difficult to get to sleep tonight.

Thoughts of wanting to curl up in this bedroom and do nothing, not see people, save money, and not move into my flat......now I think to myself it's worked this far I've saved plenty, not gambled, not done all the vices I was Soo used to, the vices that no doubt would have ended my days on earth if I'd have continued to use them.

Now it's been good and I could save more money at home with the folks but where would it lead me..... No doubt I just don't know... .independence is a big deal...  Looking after myself is a big deal.... Doing it whilst I'm still young and so are my folks is a big deal.  ...... No doubt they need their space and will find more peace in their retirement with less time having to do things for me.

So yes there are pros and cons their allways are but I need to push myself in life.  I need to strive to be the best I can.  I'd like to save to give money towards my nephews and nieces education or maybe a deposit if they start working early.   I'd like to be able to leave them an amount to be proud of when I pass away.  I work in a modest role, with a meager wage but I'm pretty good with money and I can leave a great asset for them and their families future will be more secure as a result should I not waste now.

Now is the time to move forward it's just easier to stay still isn't it, do what I've become accustomed to.... But my folks are pushing me forward..... People on here are pushing me forward....   Colleagues at work push me forward....... I know I'd regret staying still in the future.

If all else fails then at least I've tried..... Tried to improve myself.....

For everyone struggling with mental health, know that ur not alone, seek guidance and support from ur gp, and be the best you can be.  It's ok not to be ok xxxx

All the best Adam xxx

Adam you are an exemplary character who I have the utmost respect for. Your heart is in the right place and you behave with integrity and honour whilst giving support and encouragement to others.

Now is the time to show yourself the same compassion, support and understanding that you show to others. 

Moving home in itself is very stressful but you are moving from a home shared with your loving parents to a flat where you will live alone and that is double the stress in my opinion.

It will take time and patience to adapt so cut yourself some slack during the transition period and please refrain from making unnecessary demands on yourself.

Your motto should continue to be "One Day At A Time" and if things start to get you down than talk it through with someone who is understanding and cares about your welfare.

I will take this opportunity to wish you contentment and happiness now and forever because you deserve it.

Stephen ?

Thank you Stephen xxx,. Yes I will aim to ease myself into the transition .  I will stay at home for a few days a week or more and at the flat on my own for a bit then look to increase when I can.

Was a bit down yesturday after a tough day at work..... Came home and it was only after I'd spoken to my mum for a while I started to see the light.  With this in mind I need my parents opinion a lot to keep me going and to make the right decisions.

Another weekend coming up.

I'm saving money this month and next so will aim to spend as little as possible if anything in order to save more whilst I can for things in need for the flat.

So three days later and where am i at?

I was looin to lose weight and spend little over the next two months.

Soo far ive spent nothing this month not a penny, great start.

I weighed myself friday morning and i was unfortunately 13.350, then weighed myself saturday morning and was back down to 13.150

Didnt want to weight myself too much and didnt want to see it go up again so i didnt weight myself today.  But ive eaten my planned amount today apart from a kit kat.  

It'ss seven weeks till i get my flat now and looking to save enough over next two months for a sfa and some other furniture.

Spurs won tonight taking them up to fifth in prem, thats great horray.

Just plodding along at the mo, waiting for everything to fall into place.

Had an upsetting day at work on wednesday where i was told off quite bluntly by the theatre manager about gasses not eing ordered, i wrote out an email to my boss about it but his email wasnt working so he didnt get it.  I took this as faite and didnt re send it.

My sisted came over saturday and wathced footall with my nephews was quite relaxing and great to see them.

Got my injection for hep b on thursday, and injection for skitsophrenia on wednesday this week.

All in all most things going well,

All the best adamxx

Reading a post has just really struck a chord with me.

It was a 21 year old saying he's lost 3k and it's ruining his life.

Then a 51 year old saying he's lost two families, been bankrupt, and is now fighting his way back.

Now it's struck a chord because I can see what a great position I've now got myself into thru six years of saving at my folks.....I've not gambled for nearly 100 weeks solid and before that only gambled small stakes for two years..... I've given up all my vices and own the property I'm moving into in December.

Not only that I've put in a new boiler and fences and will update the rest before I move in and will have money for a sofa and some other needed furniture.

Now if I went back to gambling I will throw away ALL that hard work, ALL that security, a secure retirement, my mental health, my physical appearance, my life expectancy, TIME TIME WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY.

Now how can gambling even be a consideration after all that!!!!

Remember that youngster, remember that person at the mid life crises, and think of everything you have if you DONT GAMBLE.

I AM TRULY THANKFUL FOR EVERYTHING I HAVE WORKED HARD FOR AND THE POSSIBILITIES OF THESE RICH REWARDS FOR MY LIFE ARE ENDLESS.  I WILL NEVER GAMBLE AGAIN.

all the best Adam xxx

I look up to you so much, its strange because your a stranger to me yet I feel like I know you. You have been one of the constants on here since I joined and have always been someone I admire. Your thoughtful, help others and are so kind..

I wish you all the best in your new flat,  I don't doubt for one second of you coping, you'll be just fine ?

Your diary is one I read alot, I love your updates and take great comfort in knowing this addiction can be kicked.

Take care adam..

Stace

Thank you stace xxx we've been thru a lot on here and have come thru stronger..... I have no doubt that u will continue on ur gamble free journey.... Gone are the winters at home in the cold.... Here come the days where u can buy ur man a new car and support ur kids for a great future for them.  2021 is the building block for us a support for years to come..... Let's build on it!!!!! Roll on 2022 stace xx

Another start to the week negotiated.  My manager is off sick again this week, his boss is on holiday, so I'm going to have to work some overtime and work my holiday day on Friday.....

All's good at work, very busy and understaffed but I'm used to it now, just do what I can and prioritize everything.

Still not spent anything this month.

Diet is going well need to up it to make sure I lose a pound this week!!!   Not much I can do but keep up exercise and limit calorie intake.

People at work are getting tired as we've been pretty busy thru pandemic..... Just got to take ur holiday when you can and rest up.....  But it is busy as we are catching up on everything we've missed over the past year being in nhs ....

All in all pretty happy with how things are going.

All the best Adam xxx

Adam,

What does that tell you about yourself ?. Manager off sick but you know what ?. He knows the place is in safe hands. You think they gave you a pay rise for free ?. Someone who can prioritise & do the job is of course worth more than someone who can push a hospital bed from ward A to ward B. 

More than that, confidence rubs off on patients too. Knowing you're in safe hands is everything to someone who needs treatment. NHS trust, patients & colleagues are blessed to have you on the team. Keep going even when things get tough because people like you make the NHS the pride of our nation.

Best

Al