2021 MY AMBLE TOWARDS THE NOT GAMBLE

Hi peeps,  Firstly thanks for the birthday messages means a lot.

Had a rollercoaster of a weekend.  Friday i had a meeting with my bosses boss about the emails id sent.  Was nice to have a chat with them however nothings going to change due to it.  Was nice for them to know how im feeling about jim leaving, the reason why i think hes leaving and what i think could change in the future for porters to feel more valued, respected and to have a career path.  Maybe the email will still get forwarded up to someone who can make a difference we will see.  Was good to get it off my chest.  Im allways a bit too impulsive but i dont feel i should feel awkward about putting my views across to the senior management everyone has an opinion.

So i don't know if it was because of the meeting or the late nights id previously had thinking about all this but friday night i was really down, i came home didnt listen to music or watch any films i just layed in bed in silence.  I ended up in bed at 8pm and just slept and slept....Done me a world of good as i was energised for saturday afternoon (a meal lunchtime in a pub with five friends for my 40th), that was lovely in the sun.  Then got a coffee and walked home watched my dads team chelsea win the champions league.  Then work Sunday all day nine hours, the was super tired again so went to bed at 8pm again.  Then 14 hours sleep woke up 10 am had breakfast watched frasier then sunbathed till one pm (glorious weather) when my sister, brother in law, nephews and niece came over.  they'd made a cake with candles, had a roast dinner (the christmas turkey we'd not eaten yet lol, pigs in blankets, and banoffee pie mmmmm lovely).  now im in bed with a cuppa.

So my birthday had its ups and downs, but i've not really reflected on my age as yet.  No mid life crises as yet lol.

So to take stock everything going well vices wise and work wise, im working six days a week now full time hours and have my holiday coming up in june.

I am still looking forward to summer and trying my wetsuit out when the sea warms up.  Then to time off at christmas and celebrating the second successful year on here.

All the best adam

Hi Adam and sorry to hear of the rollercoaster of the last few days. Age brings wisdom; 40 is one helluva marker. So keep it steady, keep sharing and we’ll keep everything just so 🙂 

End of another week, start of another weekend, I'm working Sunday, hoping tomorrow is sunny so i can sit in the garden.

Tough day at work today as two of my team were on holiday and the other was sick.  This meant i had to be on my toes.....  I was running about all day trying to keep up.  I managed fine and was good to finish the day with everything done.

I've got Monday off as a holiday day so I'm hoping it'll be sunny...If not at least ill get to have a lie in and rest up.

One more week at work then a week and a half off as holiday.  Not had any holiday days off since November /December when i had my shoulder op.

It's going to be good to rest up and re charge and hopefully it'll be sunny.

Done an exercise video yesterday in the lounge.... It was based around stomach exercises which is what i need.....Was a real good work out so think ill keep going with it.

All my aims are going well, just got to exercise a bit more so i lose a bit of weight......Havent lost any for a while so i'm behind target for the wedding in sept.

All the best adam xx

oh yeah and its 550 days today horray....... roll on 600

Hello Adam123,

Congratulations on being 550 days gamble free! Such an achievement and you should be proud of this. I can see the last couple of days have been a rollercoaster for you, I'm hoping the next couple of days start to brighten up for you again.

Keep up the hard work!

Best wishes,

Vanessa 

Forum admin

Thanks vanessa xxxx

Right ive hit a bit of a brick wall, ive been back to eating two chocolate bars, two packs of crisps a day and ive only been walking for the past month at work rather than at home.....  I saw a friend who in one day on sunday walked 27 kilometres,,,,, he's lost three stone and his face looks so much more healthier.... he's got some way to go with the weight but he cant jog or play sports so he has done this ll thru eating right and walking.... a real inspiration.....  So ive looked at my weight now, my target weight, how many minutes ive spent walking so far this year, how many it will take to double the first three months of the year all with the intention of smashing what i did last year (3650 mins exercise), first three months this year 3650, if i do at least 55 mins walking each day for the rest of june 21 days then i will beat 7300 mins exercise for the first half year already doubling what id done for the whole year the year before.  

But more importantly than the exercise is my diet, one chocolate bar or pack of crisps literally probably equals one of my walks for the whole day....  So i need to find healthy snacks......  So at the start of the year i was aiming for 4th september to get down to 12 stone 6 or the ultimate goal of 12 stone 2 that the nhs website said to aim for....Now as ive fallen by the wayside a bit recently if got a month of losing weight to catch up on.  So i have 12 weeks left and 12 pounds to lose....Its actually worked out really well as its at the mo a pound a week to lose which sounds achievable.  

So ill weigh myself again on sunday and hope to be at the starting point of bang on 13 stone or less (i just weighed myself and im 13 stone.05

Im just glad i havent gone back up to 13.6 with my eating over the last month.

Right so here's my weekly update.  Walked at work then after work in the evening for the past four days, then went to the beach today and went in the sea then came home had dinner and went out for an hours walk and walked 5.1k.... so soo far this week ive walked 28k much better than the 18 last week.  Im going to a bbq at lunch time tomo for the england game and staying over theirs so ill not be walking tomo and will take a break from the diet no doubt but thats all good.

Diet wise instead of eating crisps and chocolate when ive fancied a snack ive had some fruit with some skyre (which apparently has no calories), ill weigh myself tomo morning (just once a week) hopefully its better than 13.1 (if its not then ill be dissapointed but im making the right decisions so maybe ill have put on muscle).

Im on holiday now, first day today and already feel relaxed.  Think ill get an early night

Well done Adam, Enjoy your bbq, we all deserve a treat 

Hi so holiday update!!!!

Been a great holiday soo far although i have an admition to make, i got carried away with the england result and saw a competition on the tv to win euros tickets to the final for two pounds (a text one) and entered without thinking!!!!  I completely forgot that it would knida be gambling.  Im not going to count it however as a relapse as it was a mistake to  enter, i obviously wont win and there is no chance that it will result in me starting to gamble again!!! So a very minor mistake but i will remember not to do it again in the future.

Holiday has been great soo far.  Friday night went for a walk.  Saturday went for a long walk.  Sunday went to a friends for the england game and a bbq, stayed over his then monday had lunch round his, watched the scotland game then came back, then went for a curry with some friends last night.  All in all its been great!!!!

Im fully refreshed and ready to go back to work and ive still got four days left.  Im back at work sunday.

How come there's not a mens chatroom too? that's a bit sexiest, mens equal rights lol, id like to see a mens chatroom too please on a saturday or sunday at 5pm?

all the best Adam xxx

So today i went to town to meet a friend.  Met up and i got an iced coffee then we went around the charity shops, i bought a fleece for 4 pounds from a charity shops and a dvd.  Then he wanted to go to kfc so i got a drink, then we parted ways and i visited a new coffee shops was really nice coffee, then on the way back i went into a pub to use the toilet and my friend was in there playing on the fruit machine......I sat down got a diet coke and watched the football on the tv..... then he ran out of money as he allways does one day after hes been paid his benefits then he now has two weeks till he gets paid again.....Now watching this brought back some gambling thoughts of course but i knew what the end result would be or him (he'd eith er run out of money that day, the next or the next )and i wanted no part of it.....  So im still gamble free, still enjoying my time off, im refreshed and 

So a quick update, i've been of work almost a week now and have done a lot so im going to stay in the rest of this week.  Ill be watching all the games for the euros and ill be going for my walks and keeping to my diet.  Today i woke up late at 1pm and hadnt had lunch so i weighed myself in the kitchen (where it gives the most realistic weight(its usually brutally honest)), i was exactly 13 stone, now a few weeks ago i wa 13 stone 6 on those scales so theres a definate improvement however it was after not eating for the a while and not drinking either (its at the lowest point for the day).  I am very optimistic however that its in this correct move in the right direction.  Ill weigh myself every Saturday morning when i wake up and see how i go.  I think i was 13.4 last week so thats hopefully a 4 pounds loss in a week and its my week off where i've gone out for bbqs a meal and to town.  I managed to not eat anything when i went to town which was a good improvement and ive eaten dinner earlier in recent days.  I've also for lunch been eating two fried eggs on their own no bread with them and that fills you up without having too much weight gain.  Eggs are great i love them so will continue with them for the forseeable.

So the main goal is to hit 12 stone six, the ultimate goal would be 12 stone 2 but we will see how it goes.  At 13 stone bang on i have 7 pounds to lose in 11 weeks.  I know that it will get harder to lose as in past i couldnt get past the 12 stone 10 mark. 

So an update....on the euros....england won their first match horray....then drew against scottland in the derby.....harry kane looked a bit leggy....We havent stepped into our top gear yet and we have a lot of room for improvement that i know we can hit when we need to.

Another day off.....went into the garage roof today and looked at everything ive got in there (mostly kitchen stuff) so wrote it all down with a view of knowing what i will need to buy for the move...... i think ill buy things slowly and make sure i get things that will last, i will like for a long time and will make my flat homely.

I need a coffee table, two chairs, a sofa, a toaster and kettle, microwave, dvd shelves, tv stand, everything else i will get in time....i have cutlery, plates, bowls, suacepans, frying pan, mugs, a glass but i think i can inherit so more of these from here as mum and dad have loads.... well they do have loads of cups and glasses.

I spoke via whatsapp tonight during the game to a mate about my skitsophrenia mainly because i said i had regrets in life (about smoking cannabis for a long time) he said he had no regrets but obviously it might have caused me to get skitsophrenia and cause a lot of stress thru my life.... now its better to regret than not to live as they say and i had a good time thru those years... however im thankful im on the other side and am being healthy now and saying no to drugs!!! 

I am happy with my holiday and what ive done, ive got work on sunday so one more day off tomo then work sunday then another three days off to watch the euros..... then back to work, although with the euros on every evening im still looking forward to the time that im working over this month.

Jim the other porter left work today and i didnt get a chance to write in his leaving card but i said goodbye and it will be different at work with them hiring  a new porter soon.... this will no doubt bring a new role for me and different jobs to do but hopefully not much else will change.

Really looking forward to moving into my flat as at the moment im feeling really confident, no doubt that will change at times and when i move in and dont feel confident i will come back home untill i do.....

My diet is working brilliantly at the moment but i know there are difficult times and temptations ahead..... im done to just over 13 stone and will lokk to get to any 12 number by next saturday my next weigh in.....  Had a magnum ice cream tonight with the football good to have a treat once a week i think.

So another 5 days have past and here's how life is at the moment! pretty dammn good i think..... im in a great mental health state.... ive stayed over friends house for the night....ive been out for coffees and a meal with friends..... ive visited family and been to the beach..... and i havent on any of these occasions had voices in the evening following these at wihch i usually would..... This is great news for me i feel im really making inroads into solving my skitsophrenia.... I'v not drunk, smoked or gambled and this is also a contributing factort to my health and the relationship i have with my mental health.....

Back to work tomo after what has been a very restfull period for me....  I feel ready to get back to it.....I know i can deal with working the 6 days a week.   Im working this sunday and then they dont need me for two sudays following so i will be able to rest fully those weekends then back to it.

With being on holiday ive had varying degrees of success for my weight loss and diet....  Weighed myself today and im back up to 13.3, rome wasnt however built in a day and i will persevere.....Even if i weigh 156 stone i know food is my vice im allowing (for the majority of the time) as i can enjoy food and soft drinks at the moment.....

If i make it down to 12.6 by sept it will be great but if not i will still fit into my suit and enjoy myself thoroughly on the day....Ive bought the happy couple the gift of snorkelling on their honeymoon.....I thought that would be enjoyable so i treated them to that...In past years that wouldnt e an option.....Buying a round of drinks wouldnt be an option.... but now it is now i am succeeding... 

All the best Adam xxx

I'm grateful for this website and my diary, it's a way to put my thoughts down, release some stress, get ideas and feedback and hopefully show a timeline of my life and how my recovery develops.

I've started to work six days a week and i will get my first bigger pay cheque this Wednesday.  Soo far ive had holiday days in order to get two days off a week but i cant do this forever......  So im going to ask for three mondays off in August so that i have two days off a week and have the mondays to visit the beach if its sunny.

Diet wise i've been in varying degrees of success, some days really good others ok.  Walking wise i had one great week then last week pretty poor as was on holiday.  

In two months hopefully ill hit my target weight and be on my way towards achieving my objectives for this year.  On the performance reviews at work ive included my objectives on here 1) Weight 2)Mental Health 3) Fitness 4) Job tasks 5) Social interaction..........................  I beleive ill achieve all of these apart from weight which can go up and down and may happen may not.

After these objectives are over whats next?  whats gonna make my life better? what can i do? what shouldnt i do? i cant think of anything at the moment, but hopefully ill have some inspiration......  however if i cant think of anything im doing wrong at mo and i cant think of anything i want to do diferently then its all good.

All the best adam xxx

The most efficient animal on earth is the condor, the most inefficient animal on the planet is the human.  But then put a human on a bycycle and its the most efficient animal on earth.....

I was one of the most inefficient humans on earth but with gamcare and this pc.....Now i feel i'm pretty d**n efficient so thank you gamcare.

Lets use the tools at our dispossal and beat gambling..