Today, I have struggled, slept badly and feeling not great, popped out at lunch and was in old stomping ground and my mind was thinking “gamble” rather than as a non gambler, I looked at the 2020 challenge and my days and came back and posted this! Killing the addiction!
matt692
Reflection of yesterday- tough day! Felt c**P as normal people do! Didn’t gamble so by mid pm I got head in gear and worked better late in day and can move forward today. Not sure what I would be doing if made the wrong decision
matt692
Back home from travellers - gf and it wasn’t straight forward, but got there and today I felt fine no issues and onwards and upwards, read a few new posts by fellow addicts and glad that my thoughts I am not a gambler will continue as long as possible
matt692
It’s been a strange few days, feeling tired and pain in my body adding to this! I have struggled to gain some enthusiasm- this is bad and although no gambling bad attitude has led to issues in the past! I need to be positive tomorrow to maintain my days! Matt692
Today I am reviewing work and trying to gain some enthusiasm to get on and complete a report! Failing miserably- Need to move forward as stagnation has led to problems in the past! Good thing pay day today and it’s great to see some of last month still left in bank!
Hey Matt,
Good to hear that you are still moving forward. Treat yourself with your surplus pay! Keep going my friend.
Thanks Murio
hope your well!
i have looked to get something special - and also seeing a further debt reduction gives me the pleasure at moment!
I have some mental laziness this last few days - yesterday I got back to gym really enjoyed, plan today clear some work then do some exercise!
Matt692
Another Monday passed feeling down on a Monday! Monday’s were gambling days “cheer up” get a fix! Never really thought of gambling but that need for a boost was there today
heyho onwards and forward another day gf
matt692
Back on the road for the rest of the week, just in hotel and a salad for a meal! Enjoying the footy on the tele - early night! This time last year in bookies playing slots!
keep safe
matt692
Hi all - funny feelings yesterday as I walked back to hotel and past previous haunts - go in and watch the sport pass an hour! - walked past thinking as a non gambler you wouldn’t even think it! Death thrones of the addiction
feeliby good this morning!
matt692
Happy Sunday - stay safe with the wind!
i have just been on the forum reading new posts, it feels good to read the horror stories and to keep that raw emotion real. Thanks and good luck on your recoveries and support to gamblers.
yesterday I popped into the pub to watch rugby and the table was covered in pints the racing paper and mobile phones, the lads have had a sat watching sport and racing! I used to be there, but a lucky15 on the tv races or an acc a on the footy was not enough for me. I had to win big! Roulette “all in” big win or massive losses, no need to guess which most weeks ended up at!
the other guys bet on a few pints no issues if win or lose!
yesterday I enjoyed the banter and nonsense talked for an hour or two! The enjoyment is not the bet it is the sport and company!!
Matt692
10/12/2020 a decision was taken and Allen Carr book read and absorbed! My last two months has been great! Debts are still huge, but less than 2 months ago, I have arranged lower int rate debt so paying less for it! I have had lots of treats and gifts to those near!
onwards to next month ........
here is to being a non gambler every day is a win!
matt692
Hi - yesterday I had some strange thought while driving home, these included just wanting to keep driving around, rather than going home, this is linked to gambling, I would disappear and have a session! I had a drive and ended going to a number of shops and bought bits and bobs - no gambling but clear warnings - I think I need some plans - gym is probably the answer
onwards!!
matt 692
End of another good week as a non gambler. I have been having some back pains and been feeling quite tired post food feeling very lethargic. I am struggling to motivate myself today! Been reading some new stories and this has given me some umph as lethargy has led to gambling in the past to give some excitement - as a non gambler this will come from normal activities (huge pile of ironing / spare room a mess) lets see if I can muster effort to sort
matt692
Update - motivation found piles of ironing done - feeling better having a coffee - might even get to gym! Then can have a pint watching the footy!
matt692
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