2020 and beyond

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(@matt692)
Posts: 243
Topic starter
 

Happy Christmas to all!

whatever that will occur today, it is 24 hrs and the pain some of us will feel, use it as platform to move forward into 2020 (new decade). I have stated a couple of wishes and one of those is about Christmas,

today I will keep busy, might do some work and maybe go for a run, I have a meal this evening at 5pm

have a safe good gf day

matt692

 
Posted : 25th December 2019 6:33 am
(@matt692)
Posts: 243
Topic starter
 

Christmas Day 2020 - put it there!

been for a run, did a couple of hours work, had goose for meal (beautiful) a few drinks with the cousins / family and home - all very “normal” been a drag when bigger and better was on offer!! Normal Xmas day! Let’s keep the thoughts as normal

matt692

 
Posted : 25th December 2019 10:22 pm
(@matt692)
Posts: 243
Topic starter
 

A strange day today, got a sore throat and did some work this morning and then handed this over to someone, and I was a little lost, so as didn’t feel like having a run I had a duvet day on settee, went for a drive at about 7pm and found myself thinking about what I would have done / bookies / casinos in past, didn’t want to but it was a reminder to fill the void and have a purpose!

matt692

 
Posted : 27th December 2019 10:08 pm
Murlo
(@murlo)
Posts: 1355
 

Hey Matt.

I have just noticed you are coming up to 3 weeks gamble free. Great achievement! It’s a funny old time of year. Keep going x

 
Posted : 27th December 2019 10:16 pm
(@matt692)
Posts: 243
Topic starter
 

Thanks Murio

it is a funny time of year I have tried to keep busy through a lonely time, I am reading Allan Carr nearly finished and I can see a clear head and a way forward, hope you are keeping safe

matt692

 
Posted : 28th December 2019 9:39 pm
(@matt692)
Posts: 243
Topic starter
 

Happy New Year - a time for a clean slate , resolutions, promises and to look to future. If one thing happens and we all remain non gamblers! We will all be better for it! 2020 as a non gambler!

matt692

 
Posted : 1st January 2020 12:25 am
(@matt692)
Posts: 243
Topic starter
 

Reality of work is heading towards us! Holidays finishing, and a long year ahead! 
this year as a non gambler will be with further clarity and concentration to success 

have a good gf day! 
matt692

 
Posted : 2nd January 2020 9:31 am
(@matt692)
Posts: 243
Topic starter
 

A day to start my fitness surge for the new year, done day 1 - this is a time / hobby that goes to the bin when gambling and then adding binge eating on top of winning / losing 

so as a non gambler I will hopefully put more effort in and get some results out!

matt692

 
Posted : 2nd January 2020 8:44 pm
(@matt692)
Posts: 243
Topic starter
 

Fitness surge did well for four days, feeling good however my knee is telling me something different! Today is a rest day so hopefully feel a bit better tomorrow. This morning I finished the Allan Carr book and finally committed and confirmed myself a non gambler  and the issue is not to feel deprived but to feel relieved and celebrate.

the book is a great read and it’s repetitive comments clearly influence thinking.

4 weeks today I was stood for hours wasting my life! 
today I have been discussing saving interest on borrowings I have and the end is in sight (very long distant sight) but in sight - which for the last thirty years it’s been pain on top of pain

here is to the next weeks and months

matt692

 
Posted : 7th January 2020 8:23 pm
(@matt692)
Posts: 243
Topic starter
 

I have just read slotgrinders post on their recovery blog! Heartbreaking and it is a beating illustration of where the ADDICTION takes our mind. The poor guy at rock bottom - mind looking at a financial solution (loan) etc being the solution. I was there many many times, and funny enough what happened! Yep got the loan got deeper in the c**P. 
The unwinding of the addiction and the acceptance that gambling is the problem and not the solution is the simple fact. But so so difficult to see when deep in the depths of dispair.

Slotgrinder has had the advice and support on his blog, but the post totally confirmed to me what a mind can do.

as a committed non gambler a further reminder what relief I enjoy from being a non gambler

i hope slotgrinder takes the advice, and starts his recovery! 

matt692

 
Posted : 8th January 2020 5:58 am
(@matt692)
Posts: 243
Topic starter
 

10/12/2019 is my last bet date, it was when I became a non gambler (with the help of Allen Carr) 1 full month.

since then;

work output up!

pressures / work load up!

stress down!

sleeping better

small bonus in bank

cash spent on clothes / Xmas paid for

debt slightly reduced

interest on mortgage rate same but in progress to change (reducing and fixing)

wages still left for jan 

cr cards not fully max”d

accepted invitation to a social do (will cost a few quid for fund raising).

gym returned to some activity 

golf not much but weather/ rain.

so lots of positives

Negatives!

more time to work and concentrate!

non gambler 

matt692

 
Posted : 10th January 2020 4:56 am
(@matt692)
Posts: 243
Topic starter
 

Sunday eve, been a golf today in rain, and came home a bit of work! I have downloaded a 21K app for me to train with this is hard! I have just had a notification that a low interest period is coming to an end on a cr card, I went online and was delighted that there is an offer for a low rate card, so looking to balance transfer! I have in the past got a similar card and then “online” card maxed out in days! Now as a non gambler it is not even on my mind!

have a good gd week

matt692

 
Posted : 12th January 2020 7:04 pm
(@matt692)
Posts: 243
Topic starter
 

Today has been a strange day! A normal Monday I have a history of feeling restless and go gambling to relieve the restlessness. Today worked well had tea and I have been restless, today I went in the car for a drive, went to supermarket and bought some “goodies” and I was thinking what events were happening on a Monday night! Previous evenings would have been a waste of time and maybe money, no regrets tomorrow!

matt692

 
Posted : 13th January 2020 10:19 pm
(@matt692)
Posts: 243
Topic starter
 

Today Thursday a good day I have been trying to complete a piece of work and been putting off, today I had to do some travelling and first away trip for year - back in Oct / nov I would find a bookies and fill my time winning / losing / wSting time - followed by a binge eat and poor sleep! Today got to hotel - concentrated on the work and broke the back of it, so I went to the bar had a sensible meal, and a beer! Now having a lazy bath! How times have changed for the better! Tomorrow is run day so plan is early morning gym session then off to work! 
hope you all safe

matt692

 
Posted : 16th January 2020 9:08 pm
(@matt692)
Posts: 243
Topic starter
 

Today is Sunday, Friday went well no issues on my travels and a weekend out with friends - all good and no issues, off to golf today and then off on travels tonight so I will be thinking plans, that said my head is saying I am a non gambler!

matt692

 
Posted : 19th January 2020 8:06 am
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