Hello Dan,
My name is Chris, I'm a compulsive gambler. It's an interesting read, your diary, as I can see it sends those reading it into two directions. Those who think that you are doing well, only the odd bet here and there but not on your specific poison, namely online casino games, and the others who take the point of view that all gambling is out and to even say you're doing well and still having the odd bet is tantamount to blasphemy.
I come from a Gamblers Anonymous background and for us, all betting is out. No sports betting only on a Saturday, no lottery, no raffle tickets, not even heads or tails with a coin if you can avoid it. We believe that one bet will allow the mind eventually to think that no harm was done and I can control this until finally we go back to our bad habits.
But this isn't Gamblers Anonymous, this is Gamcare. Gamcare have a different approach to recovery which is spread throughout their partner treatment centres and counselling which says that you, the gambler, have to decide your path. Do you just want to reduce your betting, do you want to try cutting out certain types of gambling or do you want to cut it all out? The choice is yours and they have a program to fit your choice. It is hoped that eventually, if you are a problem gambler, that you'll come to your own realisation that you want to stop it all, but that's on you.
I am a lot more open minded about recovery now and how others do their own recovery. A lot of people aren't doing a recovery, they are just not gambling or gambling less, and that's their choice. I sometimes wish others could see the real damage that gambling causes or experience what I and others who are at the extreme end of pathological gambling have done and gone through, it's a far different story from just losing a sum of money, but that's my story, not yours, and you have to get to a certain point on your own before you take your next path.
It never did me any good just being told what I should be doing, unfortunately I had to come to my own conclusion first. It was always an expensive conclusion, in so many ways. Not just money, but stolen money, loss of countless jobs, loss of relationships, loss of family, loss of having somewhere to live, loss of freedom and loss of sanity. There's a lot more that gambling has cost me than just money, I can't remember them all. Oh, loss of reputation is another one. It goes on.
The point being that imagine a scale of 1 to 100, and I'm an 80, you may be a 20, for arguments sake. The reason that people like myself and others are here isn't necessarily for themselves but for others. I've seen what happens as you go from a 20 to a 30, or onto a 50. It always gets worse. I used to be a 20 and I had the same belief you did. I didn't want to stop but control it, or I'll just do sports, no slots. You think it couldn't but there's always another level down until the final one and there's no way back after that. We're trying to help you stop becoming worse. Hindsight is great but we don't have hindsight, so others lived experience is the next best thing.
As long as you're not glamourising gambling continue to tell your story, and it may just be that you don't really have a problem, but continue also to read other's stories, because that's where you'll find connections and be able to identify with others and if you feel you have a problem you know what steps to take before it ends up getting worse for you.
Good luck to you.
Chris.
Almost 2 months on from my last post and time to check in.
Still gamble free and still enjoying life (despite all the events of Covid that have occured this year).
Have I been tempted to gamble during this time? Yes, a little. But those urges don’t stay for too long these days and I’ll often find a distraction soon after.
I had a read through of some diaries this morning and was slightly concerned to read of the amount of people who have joined up to GamStop, and have been joining up to casinos that are not associated with it.
As great an idea that Gamstop was/is, that was always my biggest fear.
Gambling, per say, offers nothing to the likes of us, or else we wouldn’t be on this forum in the first place. But these offshore casinos with no credible licenses really are taking advantage of what it seems to be like a lot of problem gamblers in the UK. I must have read about half a dozen incidents of this nature in the half an hour of reading time this morning.
If I can offer any piece of advice, it is not to join those casinos. You’ve proven already that you can’t win at gambling. You only lose and often lose badly. For some people to serious extents.
But these casinos ensure that you don’t have any chance of winning because they’ll rarely pay out.
I may be wrong, as I’ve yet to experience playing with a casino of that nature (and hopefully never will). But I’ve read too many stories of this occurring.
Hope everyone on here is keeping safe and well during these difficult times.
Keep on fighting and remember that for every morning that you wake up gamble free, you can put a big tick in the ‘winning’ box.
Dan
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
