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154 days gf but relapsed today  

 
Winterishere
(@winterishere)

So, I've been doing really well. GamStop helped, self excluding from bookies etc. Not gambled since 2nd January but this afternoon I slipped. Found a European online slots site and lost £300. I've closed account and set max self exclusion as usual. Left feeling awful now. Let myself down, feeling worthless and so sad. I've done this enough times to know this feeling will pass in time and I'll build up my gf days again which will make me feel better. I'm not complaisant and actively practice positive behaviours to keep myself moving forward but impulse control is still my ongoing issue. I'm so fed up with this s**t tbh. Keep moving forward I guess 

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Posted : 22nd May 2020 7:59 pm
parker97
(@parker97)

Hey, sorry to hear that. Glad you're staying positive despite the obvious bad feelings. You'll get your days back, good job on making sure your excluding and closing accounts. It's not an overnight change but I'm sure you'll get there!

Parker

ReplyQuote
Posted : 22nd May 2020 9:23 pm
c43h
 c43h
(@c43h)

You slipped. You got a bit dusty. Brush it off and walk on. This slip is nothing. Fall down seven times get up eight. Never stop moving. You will get there. It is all about attitude.

 

Regs

C

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 22nd May 2020 9:58 pm
Winterishere
(@winterishere)

Cheers Parker and Regs! 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 22nd May 2020 10:06 pm
Jadiebby85
(@jadiebby85)

Hi I’m sorry to hear that you relapsed but if you can take 1 positive you’ve recognised what is happening and self excluded and blocked! I know it might feel like a failure but how long would it have taken before to self exclude from the site and stop?

jade

ReplyQuote
Posted : 23rd May 2020 12:02 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

Hi winterishere.

In the spirit of openness and honesty you do need to deeply analyse your position and any delusions you may still have.

Sitting down with a non gambler close to you and talking through that gambling session. For me it would be my father because he is the toughest anti gambling person I can think of. He grew up poor and gambling is an anathema or totally alien to him.

Why would I make myself that uncomfortable??....because I know gambling was killing me and I never felt worse than walking home after gambling extinction. Because I know that is what is needed to question myself and challenge the addiction.

A door was open there and you succumbed to temptation. Whether you like me saying this or not, you have to face the reality that you have gadgets, you have an internet connection and you have access to money. Time location and money all in your own home which is why online gambling is particularly insidious

Unless you step things up you are vunerable again at any time. My view is that it takes more foundations than blocking software and self exclusions.

You may be thinking dont go over the top joydivider....Im a grown adult with willpower! However this recovery doesnt work like that. Your body creates a comfort zone to numb the pain and chasing the losses next time can play on your mind as you want to get back at "the man"

Take the fight on again. You are ignoring the odds and all the risk is with you. It should irk you that the gambling dens arent taking any real risk. Its all carefully calculated on a large capital base fund.  They are not risking their food money!

They take a percentage of the yearly machine income no matter what...That is an income scheme as long as they get punters and they worked out a long time ago that punters come to them in droves...every tenner is stained with the false hope and misery of other punters.

I say to everyone thats had a relapse......you are not alone.... strengthen the defences and to perhaps realise they did not start from square one of born again foundations

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

This post was modified 2 weeks ago by Joydivider
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Posted : 23rd May 2020 6:20 pm
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