1 week!

thought I’d try starting a thread on here. Ive been one week gf. I’ve been reading a lot of stories and talking to some people, really helped keep me sane this past week. My story is not half as bad as others so it kinda feels like I don’t have the right to be here. I’ve only been gambling seriously 3 years. Although I remember one time I was on holiday at butlins when I was about 12 and somehow found myself playing this game. Can’t exactly remember what it was, but it was based around that tv show golden balls, and you had to pick balls or something I don’t know. It was a pound a play, But I ending up winning maybe 20 or 30 quid and the money came pouring out the machine and even went rolling across the floor.It was such a buzz. I got out of there real quick because I was scared they were going to take my money haha. I’m convinced that’s where It all started. Then when I turned 16 I started buying a few scratch cards nothing crazy. But when I turned 18 I started gambling online casinos. Only slots nothing else. Started off with small stakes and by the end of it I was doing larger stakes. It’s started to get bad over the last year and a half or so. I’d put money in my savings then I just ended up taking it out again. But the stakes were still pretty small. my wages were mainly going into gambling. 1 month ago the higher stakes started £x, £x. Then once you go to that you can’t go back. But I still wasn’t really losing any money other than my wages after I’d paid rent etc. A few weeks ago I found myself taking a larger chunk of money out my savings than usual and depositing onto a casino, kept winning little bits and ended doing x stakes. Got really lucky and won  more money than I had saved I took that out. Next day, £xx spins this time. Win x again. There’s no way. I put all the money I won in my savings but it lasted about 3 days. I really thought I wouldn’t spend it, didn’t realise my problem was that bad. Day 1 I spent xK. I was even gambling at work on my break which I never do. I just couldn’t stop.i was on the edge of a meltdown, having a full on panic attack and then. This is what annoys me the most. I managed to win back exactly what I lost. And I finally stopped and took the money. I tried to stop that night, looked up other people’s stories and what not. I was so sure I wasn’t going to do it again, still didn’t realise how addicted I was at this point. Day 2 I lose xK . Luck was not on my side but I managed to stop. I just couldn’t accept my loss. Day 3 spend the rest, stop when I get to what I originally had. Which I’m grateful for now. As I said, this isn’t half as bad as some people. I’m not in debt or  anything, it didn’t affect anyone but me. It still really hurt though. My family has never had much money, so that could’ve really helped me out in the future but whatever. Moving on. With hard work I can make it back, and I feel more motivated than ever. It’s technically day 8 now. I’ve just been paid. So far so good. 

sorry this is so long, if anyone actually reads this to the end, I hope you have a fantastic gamble free day x