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Steveo2029
(@steveo2029)

I’ve had chances after chances to change I’ve been bankrupt I’ve been bailed out from family and friends I’ve been given every opportunity to stop but I never. My relationship broke down and left family home but yet I still continued. Friends and family have distanced them selves from me and yet I still gamble I’ve just lost the last of my money and now I’ve got to survive with absolutely nothing till the end of the month. I’ve got very little food in and still got things I need to get and pay for with no way of getting any more money.

I need help I can’t do it by myself I’m also scared to stop 

Quote
Posted : 15th April 2021 10:36 pm
maxmaher
(@maxmaher)

why are you scared to stop ?

it sounds like your close to if not already at rock bottom is there any need to go any further ? 

gambling is a destructive self indulging habit ......im a gambler / risk taker by nature if someone said heres 2 boxes theres £100 in this one and a mystery in the other chances are i would take the mystery ( because i have nothing to lose ) 

if i am in a rush and the traffic light is on orange i will go through it 9/10 again weighing up risk  

thats just who i am ...... problem is when you take my personality and mix it with gambling tables and roulette wheels trouble is inevitably around the corner 

so what do i do ? i weigh up the risk and i say u know what its just not worth it 

its the equivalent of me driving through 6 red lights in a row eventually something will go wrong 

i am yet to meet anyone that has achieved long term happiness from a gambling lifestyle 

 

This post was modified 4 weeks ago by maxmaher
ReplyQuote
Posted : 16th April 2021 10:36 am
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Dear Steveo2029,

Thank you for posting on our forum and sharing so openly.  You recognise that you need help but feel scared to stop and let go of your gambling. This is likely to feel very familiar to some of our  forum members and demonstrates that problem gambling is certainly not black and white, there is a lot in between.  Many people also tell us that it can feel isolating, so we urge you to get as much support as you can via here, our chatrooms, 24/7 one to one support on the helpline and Live Chat.  We offer a range of treatment options and practical help and signposting regarding money management, debt, shortage of food etc. 

Keep posting Steveo2029, change can happen, take it day by day.

Best wishes

Fiona

Forum Admin

This post was modified 3 weeks ago by Forum admin
ReplyQuote
Posted : 17th April 2021 6:31 am
X M
 X M
(@x-m)
Posted by: Steveo2029

I’ve had chances after chances to change I’ve been bankrupt I’ve been bailed out from family and friends I’ve been given every opportunity to stop but I never. My relationship broke down and left family home but yet I still continued. Friends and family have distanced them selves from me and yet I still gamble I’ve just lost the last of my money and now I’ve got to survive with absolutely nothing till the end of the month. I’ve got very little food in and still got things I need to get and pay for with no way of getting any more money.

I need help I can’t do it by myself I’m also scared to stop 

Exactly the same. Lost my home with my girlfriend. I miss my dog. I lost everything and I still keep doing it. Sometimes I feel like I should be dead and that would be better than living a life like this. It's not suicidal thoughts. It's just...fact. Why live a life like this? I've been there-in fact I'm there now and I'm so scared that I won't be able to cope. I hope you can somehow find a way to get through this. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 17th April 2021 10:18 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hi @x-m,

Thanks for offering support to another Forum member.  It also sounds like you are going through a rough time. I know you mentioned about not having suicidal thoughts, however for you to feel this way suggest things are becoming unbearable for you. I would encourage you call us on our Helpline  so we can offer any support we can to help you cope through this challenging time and help move forward.  

Please don’t be alone with this – our HelpLine on 0808 8020 133 and our 1:1 Livechat are both open 24 hours every day.

Warm wishes,

Vanessa

Forum admin

ReplyQuote
Posted : 18th April 2021 10:42 am
slowlearner
(@slowlearner)

Hi Steve,

I learned that money isn't the real price we pay for addiction. You've lost family, friends, people distance themselves from you. In other words you've been robbed of our most valuable commodity & that's SELF RESPECT. 

What you've lost in monetary value can never be recovered but everything I've described above can be recovered. Believe me it's a long hard slog, I ain't gambled since Aug 2018 & still trying to earn trust, but I have some self respect for the first time in years because I know I haven't gambled in that time. Being able to look loved ones in the eye & say that makes me like myself a little more each day.

Tomorrow's another day & maybe just maybe I'll get through it gamble free, at the end of the day I'm an addict. I've stopped worrying & beating myself up about other peoples perception of me is. All I know is I've found inner peace, can look people in the eye & say I haven't gambled & I'm a better person now than I was when I opened up about my addiction & sought help. All of our rock bottoms are different and I was broken with gambling before I got real about needing help in dealing with an addiction I was powerless over. If you've reached your rock bottom there's so much help & support available.

Best Wishes & Keep Posting

 

Al

ReplyQuote
Posted : 18th April 2021 11:27 pm
Steveo2029
(@steveo2029)

Thanks everyone! 
sorry for the Random waffling post but i just needed to put thoughts into writing! 
Yesterday I put the gambling restrictions back on my bank account as I got paid today and didn’t want to loose what little money I’ve got to see me through the month. 
Yet today I still managed to deposit and go back on slots. However I got sick of playing after a while and withdrew £25 and took a break from that site. I was £15 down and I would normally play until I lost all the funds in the account. 
This is a massive shift for me and I’ve went from I need to stop to I want to stop.
Ive just been paid and I’m left with around £100 to see me through the month for food, travel, gas and electric and that’s not paying all debts and bills off. As well as decorate new house. 
I’m having to let 3 friends down again (£50 each) and I feel like taking the cowards way out and instead of giving pathetic excuses again I feel like temporarily blocking numbers and because I’ve just moved to a new house in a completely different area and basically hiding from them until I’ve got their money and say I lost my phone. 
I should feel worse than I do for even thinking that option and the fact I will loose even more people out my life. 
Tomorrow is day 1 one of rebuilding my self respect back. 
If I can get through one day without gambling or swapping it for another vice like C*****e that I’ve done in the past it will be a good day! 
Sorry for the randomness of this post but Instead of just thinking it I thought I’d try writing it

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Posted : 29th April 2021 9:51 pm
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