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why does everyone else seem to win?  



I’m trying on the road to recovery and doing well after loosing an eye watering amount in the past 9 years. Just wondering does anyone else feel like all they see is other people winning gambling? 

I often wonder how I lost the amount I did and why others who seem to win all the time when I won next to nothing and it all went back on and more or are they actually covering up losses as well. 

Posted : 20th November 2020 9:58 pm


Well, they do and they don't. Have you heard of the word "mug punter"? These are gamblers who win just to it all away again. It is much more common than you think. see what happens in your brain is spiking dopamine overload and you just lose focus on everything else than the game happening right there and then. Then your ability to take the money away with you slowly erodes with the more wins that you get. The more times you do this the more it erodes till you become a totally bias to any win that you may have. Money becomes uninteresting it is the emotion that you seek and that alone with the dopamine release is your high. 

So even if you think everyone is going home with piles of dosh in their pockets you are just witnessing mayhem and the math of that mayhem is that the more you do it the more mayhem you will get.

Not pretty reading but any addict will recognise this like no tomorrow.

The only solution is to not to gamble. Maybe you can save some of your soul on the way to recovery.



This post was modified 1 week ago 5 times by c43h
Posted : 20th November 2020 10:15 pm

Winning isn't winning. Its losing... And when you realise that every establishment that claims to reward you with free money is lying, the fun finally stops. Nothings free and nobody is winning. In fact gambling is a very serious money making industry and the people who are behind it know; Gambling itself, is an addiction.

We sometimes are driven by our foolishness and when we are hooked we will do absolutely every destructive thing to crave the adrenaline rush that we get from losing. You see a loss is always masked as a win. And I have fallen 10000 times, but every single time I fall I get back up because that is all I  can do....On the wheel of fortune everyone is a winner to be precise. We can win everyday without having to gain money....Money works for some and others work for money....If there is a higher power it is constantly over us and protecting us from those negative things and perhaps winning isn't a part of what we are destined for instead we are supposed to be watching others gain while we get nothing and to me that is a learning curve and a way to show ourselves that we have disicpline in our lives and we should be grateful for the little we have after all a massive win ruins many and would probably ruin people like us. We just need to eat food and live life free, happy and healthy away  from the harms of gambling...

Posted : 20th November 2020 10:32 pm

You only hear about the 'wins' because you're only getting half the story.

This post was modified 1 week ago by Lethe
Posted : 21st November 2020 12:32 pm

 Hi cd

You need to work that through in your mind and focus on the reality

"all they see" "seem to" "win all the time". This is all the classic gamblers delusion and thoughts you will have when on and coming off this drug.

The reality of gambling is what you went through. The odds are that gamblers will regularly lose. The gambling dens are master manipulators. they play one punter off against others. Their operation is carefully calculated and is not an income scheme for the punter.

What they drip feed people is all part of that calculation and they know its gets people hooked. Its a highly addictive activity and that is the main factor thats brushed under the carpet to keep the whole scam, sharabang going

You ignored the odds and all the risk was really with you. The reason we start ignoring the odds is that the selling point is the rush...the flashing lights, the bright images, spinning wheels and reels. Maybe its a gathering point, a night out or a big sports all sucks us in for a try until its too late and we stumble back to the dealer when we have more cash.

Earned begged borrowed or goes to the dealer for our next high of expectation and escape...its all going to come right today...has to....has to!...its gotta be me...they promised me.....give me my high. I deserve it.....its my turn! 

Do you see how ill and delusional that is. The advertising massively outweighs the documentaries about addiction. 

It actually makes me angry that the government make tax money from it...Do you think it would be legal if the government couldnt make massive amounts by taxing it...The main reason I was not protected from it all.

Make no mistake gambling is a FALLACY, A MUGS GAME...A LOSERS GAME. You cant win to suit your needs or they would no longer be in business. Your thoughts is the addiction playing on your mind. Its sold as recreational, harmless gambling but its a highly addictive drug to the body.

What came out in therapy is that I am scared of serious risk but I saw recreational gambling as lightweight activity and bit of fun

I did not understand its power to turn me into an addict until decades later when it was almost too late.

Focus on the truth about it all!

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Posted : 21st November 2020 2:10 pm

@cd1994 I would win, no problem, and I would sometimes win huge amounts compared to my wages, it all seemed too easy at times, but my problem with being a compulsive gambler is that I could not stop. For any amount, or for anyone. If I happened to be gambling off-line, so a bookies for example, and I won the last race/spin/scratch of the day, that would be the only time when I would walk away, because I had to. Next day though I was straight back there cashing in my ticket and doing the same again, believing I was now invincible.

Now you might say why not just stop when I was up, but that is what made me a compulsive gambler, I couldn't, so although I did have wins, long term and overall I lost. 

What made me keep going, other than my addiction, was the belief that I could control it, and this time I would stop when I won, but I was only kidding myself and those that I told, and that's the power of addiction.

What I have come to understand for myself is that I really cannot control my gambling from after that first bet, so I work really hard not to place it. I don't kid myself I might win and then I'll stop.

I accept that I am powerless over gambling and that my life had become unmanageable. Step 1, 12 step recovey program.


Posted : 21st November 2020 5:32 pm

hi cd1994

the house always wins in the end whether that be a bookies/casino/etc. that's a statistical fact. The longer you play the more you will pay, because the house has the odds in there favour, and if you do win what will happen, you will gamble again almost certainly because hey that £50 profit you made seemed so easy didn't it?, but next time you gamble you will probably lose what you previously won and more aswell, then you are chasing your loses. and in desperation losing and losing until you either (A) have no money left (B)  have no time left (bookies close). trust me gamblers lie, what guy wants to say to hes mates down the pub, "yer ive just spent my rent money, bill money and food money in a FOBT in the bookies", instead they will tell you all about these fantastic wins they have had, probably show you some of there winnings a wedge of cash in there wallet, but they will have spent a lot more money than they have won 'chasing' over the weeks that win i guarantee you. don't be seduced by the illusion that people are winning easy money read some of the real life stories on this forum and you will see the cost of winning a small amount of money, not just in terms of financial cost but breakup of homes, deterioration in mental and physical health, its not worth it!!

Posted : 22nd November 2020 4:39 am
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