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Why are we still trying to gamble  

 
holycrosser
(@holycrosser)

i read on here so many times that I tried to gamble today, luckily Gamstop does it’s job.

why the hell do we do it? I know the pitfalls, the consequences of it but still try to sign up.

 

why do we do it, any answers? It’s n**s

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Posted : 12th September 2019 5:07 pm
Jfield13
(@jfield13)

If it wasn’t for Gamstop I’d of lasted 3 days, but it doesn’t stop me from trying to register with online bookmakers, I’m hoping I stop trying to register or I’m going to be unlucky one of these days and get registered, then back to day one  😞

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Posted : 12th September 2019 5:48 pm
Walliss77
(@walliss77)

My attempts to gamble were always attached to emotions and feelings, these were very often unconscious as i spent most of my adult life feeling "something" that was uncomfortable followed by a behaviour that helped to counteract it or avoid it. Boredom was my main go to word but underneath that word were many other feelings and emotions that I wasn't able to discover or deal with until I became emotionally literate. 

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Posted : 12th September 2019 5:48 pm
Rpc2011
(@rpc2011)

Its utter madness.

In April when roulette changed to £2 spin , I actually convinced myself I would be both well off and my mental health would improve dramatically.  I now find I have been gambling more than ever and losing on quick hits like virtual and dogs.

 

i have just started another gambling free run as I cannot afford to ruin another  Xmas for my family.

 

 

 

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Posted : 12th September 2019 6:20 pm
Long Road 199
(@long-road-199)

I agree with the sentiments above, I am registered with Gamstop managed to find a way around in the last month and did more damage to my finances and my family’s future what for what did I gain? Luckily I saw sense yesterday and grassed myself up I lost the bets I had running but thankful I did this is day one for me again. Stay strong 

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Posted : 12th September 2019 7:06 pm
Iannk
(@iannk)

Because it's our comfort zone. We feel safe because we hide away by immersing ourselves in the activity of gambling. It takes away the things that make us feel the way we do, the void in our lives. And yet! There is nothing that causes a bigger void than gambling itself. It steals time, money and self assurance and in many cases, life itself...

I know because I've been doing it all my life and for anyone younger than me. I urge strength, perseverance and tennacity.  Please don't ruin your life as I have myself. Had I stopped a decade ago I'd have had a nice home, good car and and everything good in life instead of regrets of what could have been. I'd also be with someone nice instead of pushing them away knowing I was a compulsive gambler (keyword being 'was')

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Posted : 12th September 2019 7:07 pm
holycrosser
(@holycrosser)
Posted by: Iannk

Because it's our comfort zone. We feel safe because we hide away by immersing ourselves in the activity of gambling. It takes away the things that make us feel the way we do, the void in our lives. And yet! There is nothing that causes a bigger void than gambling itself. It steals time, money and self assurance and in many cases, life itself...

I know because I've been doing it all my life and for anyone younger than me. I urge strength, perseverance and tennacity.  Please don't ruin your life as I have myself. Had I stopped a decade ago I'd have had a nice home, good car and and everything good in life instead of regrets of what could have been. I'd also be with someone nice instead of pushing them away knowing I was a compulsive gambler (keyword being 'was')

The regret eats at me too, I’ve always had a good job but always in debt.

i walk my dog around the estate I live in, i too should have a 4 bed detached house with a great car by now, I should be well off, I’m 51 and still 20k in debt, bad credit, I own practically nothing, I clear over £2k pcm , i should be comfortable.

i could cry , because of gambling I’ve ruined a lot of things, this is my one last chance to put something right.

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Posted : 12th September 2019 7:57 pm
Robin Hood
(@robin-hood)
Posted by: holycrosser

i read on here so many times that I tried to gamble today, luckily Gamstop does it’s job.

why the hell do we do it? I know the pitfalls, the consequences of it but still try to sign up.

 

why do we do it, any answers? It’s n**s

Hi holycrosser. 

A basic explanation is that gamblers often still experience urges and cravings to gamble after they have stopped. This is due to the reinforced gambling behaviour that a gambler has been indulged in - often for a lengthy period of years. 

From the point there is an intervention into the gambling activity and onward from that time, the urges to gamble will generally die down over time. This varies greatly from person to person how long and can depend on several factors such as former habit, present circumstances and so on. I believe that statistically, the period of experiencing urges can last for say, 6-12 months after stopping. It should be remembered that this period will not be characterised by great difficulties throughout as the urges increasingly begin to decrease in both intensity and frequency to the point where the urge may be just as feeble thoughts.

As I say, this period is quite variable. For some it will be a little longer than mentioned above, for some, no time at all. Some ex-gamblers don't get these urges afterwards at all and many report that they die down dramatically after around a month or so.

The point is to try and not feel guilty about having these thoughts enter your head. In a sense you cannot help it is the product of something you used to do but no longer. It might be bound to create a bit of friction in your thinking as someone who would like to stop gambling but apparently seems to still 'want to'.

The other people who have kindly contributed to this thread have very valid points. These aspects mentioned are generally the triggers - either internal or external and are the catalyst that appears with the above I describe to spark off the gambling activity.

Hope this helps, 

Best wishes

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Posted : 12th September 2019 8:40 pm
A 9
 A 9
(@alan-135)

In my humble opinion it's because in the early week's and month's of stopping gambling your Gambling mind is telling you that " You can't survive without me " and learning to realise that actually you can survive is something that only comes with some distance between you and your last bet ...but it's getting that early distance that we all struggle with ? . 

Gambling's been a huge part of your life for so long and although it's brought most of us to our knees here , it's been there to self medicate us through life's up's and down's , it's the drug of choice for us and also the added bonus in a gamblers  mind is the illusion that we'll also have the chance to " Get rich quick" ?. 

You feel that if you let go of that " Crutch " you'll fall over without it and that put's me in mind of learning to swim as a kid where you cling to the side of the pool for fear of letting go but deep down you know it's going to be Ok because everyone around you is swimming free and doing just fine  ? .

Just let go guy's and you'll be surprised what you can do :)) . 

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Posted : 12th September 2019 8:51 pm
saintbry71
(@saintbry71)

the desire to continue gambling after only a short period without a bet is normal and will result in attempts to gamble........this is also fairly common with time under your belt without a bet......tips to stop this are to share the desire to bet if possible,remove access to phones,laptops,fill the void with other things to do and recognise vulnerable times you may try to gamble.Once this pattern to attempt to gamble is stopped for a while the thoughts and acting on them will slow down with hopefully all the tools to stay clean becoming available from attending meetings,sharing with family and friends,and not doing recovery alone,hope this helps.B

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Posted : 12th September 2019 9:18 pm
holycrosser
(@holycrosser)

I try to ban the internet after 7pm.it helps 

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Posted : 13th September 2019 6:57 am
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

People continue to gamble because its the worst drug addiction going in my view. It affects the body in a way that no other feeling quite gets at.

The chemicals in our body are like opiates. Whether we are in love or excited, chemicals flow and stimulate the brain cells.

Gambling triggers these chemicals and a small reward will reinforce the feeling of a high like we are invincible. It makes us feel alive but a drug addict will tell you that as they spiral down into total dependence

Its far more complex  as the money does play a part even though it becomes a much lesser one. We naturally want our money back and cant quite understand what we have got ourselves into.

The confusion is the main thing. If you here the banter in a bookies you can tell people are out of their minds...yet I was also in there totally hooked on spins. I knew other gamblers were talking complete garbage and it was a bad environment but I couldnt leave.

That is the sheer power of a compelling addiction. Its not really a stupidity or greed thing. We are vunerable to it, we get hooked and it destroys us.

The addiction takes over without us even realising then there is no escape without cold turkey and abstention. In fact there is no escape without going to the very core of our souls and starting again with all the help we can get

Best wishes to everyone on the forum

This post was modified 2 months ago by Joydivider
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Posted : 13th September 2019 9:01 pm
SuccessStory13
(@successstory13)
Posted by: holycrosser

The regret eats at me too, I’ve always had a good job but always in debt.

i walk my dog around the estate I live in, i too should have a 4 bed detached house with a great car by now, I should be well off, I’m 51 and still 20k in debt, bad credit, I own practically nothing, I clear over £2k pcm , i should be comfortable.

i could cry , because of gambling I’ve ruined a lot of things, this is my one last chance to put something right.

Some really good and intelligent advice on this thread. If I may add my two cents to it...

Although I’ve never got myself in money trouble or debt, I’m sick of wasting money this way when I could be doing so much more with it. I’m currently on day 30 gamble free after a period of four ridiculously stupid gambling weeks (by my standards - amounts don’t matter, it’s relevant to the individual). I just quit and went cold turkey and honestly haven’t looked back. 

Here is how I view it now:-

1) How many people do you personally know who have got rich by gambling? The evidence is right in front of us. I know maybe one person who had a big win (and eventually lost the vast majority again) and 100s if not 1000s who never win. 

2) Let’s take a football bet. Each game has a minimum of 22 players on the pitch, a referee, weather conditions, travel time and a whole host of other conditions which will affect them. How on earth do we put say three of these scenarios into a bet and try and predict the outcome? 

3) All slots/videos/virtuals are essentially a random number generator decorated with flashing lights and noises. Get a friend to pick a random number between 1-40 and see how often yours match.

4) A horse race with 10 horses running. How many factors can affect this! Ground type, weight, weather, is the jockeys mind right, did he sleep well or is he tired, are the shoes fitted properly, will he get boxed in plus at least a thousand others. 

 

When I sat back and thought how utterly ridiculous it is that I’m going to predict all these things correctly, or listened to some guy get a tip off a friend of a friend of a friend. It’s absolute madness when I break it down. I know this won’t work for everyone but it helped me go absolute cold turkey. Even if I got a good win, it went back in again. 

Anyway, more relevant to your situation now. You give the figure of your debt. You say you have a good job and this is your last chance. You could be debt free, you’re smart enough to realise this. You just have to be strong enough to carry it out. Set up a payment plan the day after you are paid so you don’t see the money, be ultra strict. Ask for help. Set yourself up a day counter on your phone, when you’re weak, look at the number and think how stinking it will be to see it go to 0 again.

Also get yourself involved in the sticky thread in this forum, when everyone posts their gamble free days. It’s good for inspiration.

 

Off my soap box, good luck!

 

This post was modified 2 months ago 2 times by SuccessStory13
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Posted : 14th September 2019 12:52 am
holycrosser
(@holycrosser)
Posted by: SuccessStory13
Posted by: holycrosser

The regret eats at me too, I’ve always had a good job but always in debt.

i walk my dog around the estate I live in, i too should have a 4 bed detached house with a great car by now, I should be well off, I’m 51 and still 20k in debt, bad credit, I own practically nothing, I clear over £2k pcm , i should be comfortable.

i could cry , because of gambling I’ve ruined a lot of things, this is my one last chance to put something right.

Some really good and intelligent advice on this thread. If I may add my two cents to it...

Although I’ve never got myself in money trouble or debt, I’m sick of wasting money this way when I could be doing so much more with it. I’m currently on day 30 gamble free after a period of four ridiculously stupid gambling weeks (by my standards - amounts don’t matter, it’s relevant to the individual). I just quit and went cold turkey and honestly haven’t looked back. 

Here is how I view it now:-

1) How many people do you personally know who have got rich by gambling? The evidence is right in front of us. I know maybe one person who had a big win (and eventually lost the vast majority again) and 100s if not 1000s who never win. 

2) Let’s take a football bet. Each game has a minimum of 22 players on the pitch, a referee, weather conditions, travel time and a whole host of other conditions which will affect them. How on earth do we put say three of these scenarios into a bet and try and predict the outcome? 

3) All slots/videos/virtuals are essentially a random number generator decorated with flashing lights and noises. Get a friend to pick a random number between 1-40 and see how often yours match.

4) A horse race with 10 horses running. How many factors can affect this! Ground type, weight, weather, is the jockeys mind right, did he sleep well or is he tired, are the shoes fitted properly, will he get boxed in plus at least a thousand others. 

 

When I sat back and thought how utterly ridiculous it is that I’m going to predict all these things correctly, or listened to some guy get a tip off a friend of a friend of a friend. It’s absolute madness when I break it down. I know this won’t work for everyone but it helped me go absolute cold turkey. Even if I got a good win, it went back in again. 

Anyway, more relevant to your situation now. You give the figure of your debt. You say you have a good job and this is your last chance. You could be debt free, you’re smart enough to realise this. You just have to be strong enough to carry it out. Set up a payment plan the day after you are paid so you don’t see the money, be ultra strict. Ask for help. Set yourself up a day counter on your phone, when you’re weak, look at the number and think how stinking it will be to see it go to 0 again.

Also get yourself involved in the sticky thread in this forum, when everyone posts their gamble free days. It’s good for inspiration.

 

Off my soap box, good luck!

 

I agree about the gambling points, it’s so stacked against you but we know that before we do it, it’s that first win , the one that hooks you in, it’s greed, a lot of my gambling was to try and get out of the debt it got me in, constantly chasing it instead of saying enough is enough, patience these days is none existent in many, patience will get me out of this just.

we all know gambling is n**s , but still did it.

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Posted : 22nd September 2019 9:21 am
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