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When you realise that winning money isn't enough.  


In 2011, I was working full-time and had access to overdraft, bank loans and payday loans. I'd go to the pub with £300 in my hand and play the fruit machines. The jackpot was £70. On the odd occasion when I won the jackpot early I wasn't able to walk away and be happy with my winnings. No, I hadn't gotten my gambling fix yet. In went the winnings along with the rest of my money. It's insanity, foolish but I was so sick and depressed that for a couple of hours this would be my escape. It would be the same story if I'd had a couple of winners in the bookies. I am certain that if I'd won the lottery I would have squandered the lot.

Taking one day at a time. Today I won't gamble.


Posted : 6th September 2019 1:50 pm

Hi Stuart... In reality winning early just prolonged the agony. At least if you lost straight away you could go home. Machine gambling is very little to do with the money and much more to do with the passing of time and not having to think about one's life.

Also taking one day at a time. Today i won't gamble


Posted : 6th September 2019 2:28 pm

I’m the same but not with fruit machines, I gamble on most sports, If I won early in the day I would get greedy and put bigger stakes on, I have some good days where everything wins but the bookies always get it back. Same if I lose early end up chasing my losses. So can’t win either way. 

Posted : 6th September 2019 3:46 pm

Wish I had gone to the pub instead of sitting at home with depression and a laptop. At least the pub would have closed and I would have been sent home to lick my wounds. 😂😂

Posted : 6th September 2019 5:41 pm

I came to realise that money was meaningless to me when I was gambling as ultimately I felt the same whether I won or lost. It was all about feeding the addiction. Every day gambling free is one step further to recovery. All the best everyone 

Posted : 6th September 2019 6:43 pm

Hi I know this feeling but your doing the right thing by taking everything day by day. I use to gamble every penny I could get and all went to bookies eventually now I’m trying to stop and see I can be a winner by not gambling 

Posted : 6th September 2019 7:08 pm

Hi All

The more I think about this crazy dangerous addiction, I dont think it was ever really about the money. It sort of was but it really wasnt if you know what Im getting at.

Im still coming to terms with how a cabinet with reels and flashing lights suckered me in for forty they made me loose any form of control over my own they were destroying me but I couldnt walk away..

How a reasonably intelligent guy could be drawn in to this addiction. Its not a stupidity issue but cant really believe I adopted it as my drug of choice. It wasnt really a considered choice as I was not really in control. It was impulsive...I had to get back to it. I wonder when the addiction really took over. Probably almost immediately as I couldnt stay away from that first machine. I started lying and making all sorts of excuses to get back to it. It made me feel alive.

The question I have been answering is why I needed that stimulant. I was jaded and depressed with life from a very early age. I still have reflective days when I feel down. The black dog still gets to me but I now know not to use gambling as an escape because its not an answer and its extremely dangerous.

Best wishes to everyone on the forum


This post was modified 11 months ago by Joydivider
Posted : 6th September 2019 8:07 pm
Posted by: Joydivider


I wonder when the addiction really took over. Probably almost immediately as I couldnt stay away from that first machine.



Yes, I reckon the slots get to you within the very first hour or so, it's why the online sites offer first-timers and new sign-ups a 'bonus' to keep you at it just that little bit longer, re-wiring your brain in the name of fun.

Some sites now warn you they are addictive, but it's in the tiniest writing possible and in a place you wouldn't necessarily look when The Game Itself is loaded and flashing and waiting for your money.

I came across an interesting fact a few weeks back. If a machine was set to produce every single combination possible ie with no repeats, and the player was prepared to sit there just to see them all in turn, it would take over 19 years of non-stop spins to get through them all.



Posted : 6th September 2019 9:45 pm

I was on my morning walk which helps me with my depression. I had a memory flash back of when I was 15. We had a school football match in the cup and I was giving odds to my friends for the first scorer. I may be wrong but I feel I was born to be a gambler? Nothing has come close to that problem. Last month I was drinking almost everyday, I stopped that no problem. When I played pennies at Christmas time as an 8 year old I swear something awoke in my brain. At 11, I was stealing regularly so I could go to the local arcade. My dad being a compulsive gambler, we never had anything and sometimes the water and electric was cut off. 

I'm approaching a month without a bet and planning on reaching a year come next September. Apparently there are three types of  gamblers and I am the binge gambler. Right now I have no desire to gamble whatsoever. 

Let's keep this going guys.

All the best



Posted : 7th September 2019 1:18 pm
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