Urging, day counting, feeling wound up

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(@spendlikewater84)
Posts: 108
Topic starter
 

Hi all

So I made a decision to quit June 10th last year.T didn't last long was kind of a half hearted shot.  So I had many lapses shall we say 

Sept 16th came and I decided to make a real effort to kick it. I've had a few set back backs but I've I stalled bet blocker on my phone and gamban etc.  Banned from all local casinos I'm doing everything in my power to kick this horrible habit.

I've been doing some therapy.  I've realised alot in last few months. I even recognise my triggers.

Tonight, I'm urging like crazy. My trigger today is stress. It's literally driving me insane.  I've been thinking of ways to pass the urge but I'm stuck for ideas that's why I've come here to write my thoughts down.

Also day counting, I know it's just a number but to me it matters. Would you start the counting at June 10th or SEP 16th

Take care everyone 

Spend ?♥️?

 
Posted : 16th January 2020 5:40 pm
(@boo-radley)
Posts: 1492
 

Hello spend.. Both these dates hold importance I would say.. 

I don't know what happened from June to September but its been thought provoking for you. Perhaps you're thinking entering a new year it could have been six months not 4.. I don't know. I'm no expert. I do think though that little relapses are common place and maybe if they aren't too damaging both mentally and financially and awareness is there then don't blame ourselves too much.. 

Perhaps I'm not making sense or the best replier to this but hold onto 10th June as a huge landmark as well as recognising September too.. 

It's just not easy is it

Hope I've helped not hindered.. Boo ?

 
Posted : 16th January 2020 6:09 pm
(@matt692)
Posts: 243
 

I have had years of day counting and forcing myself not to gamble. I have read the book by Allan Carr “stopping gambling is easy” or something like that.

the book explains the reason / addiction why we want to gamble - it then unpicks this with constant reference to why we don’t need to gamble. I must say at the moment I feel like and act like a non gambler - rather than a gambler that is trying to stop. All mind games but working at moment!

hope you find the peace

matt692

 
Posted : 16th January 2020 9:16 pm
Lost and Found
(@lost-and-found)
Posts: 146
 

Sorry you are feeling out of sorts. It's completely normal to feel this way and to feel urges. Your brain will fight tooth and nail for this addiction. It wants it. You don't. It gets high. You get depressed....

Each time you bet, you strengthen the addiction and reinforce the connection between moods and gambling.

Each time you feel like that again, your brain will give you the nudge to gamble. It thinks it is helping you but the brain is selfish and is only looking out for itself. You have to rewire those connections.....I feel stressed....I think I will blow off some steam and go gamble....and change that to....I feel stressed, I will not make more stress for myself by gambling. I will look for a positive solution to my problems, perhaps by resolving the issues that make you stressed, rather than just masking them with gambling.

You want to gamble because you are stressed out, so ask yourself what do you want to achieve? What do you expect gambling to do for you and what has been the result of that over time? I am guessing more stress?

Knowing your triggers is a great place to start unravelling your gambling habits. I fully agree with Matt692. I have a copy of the book too and when you read it, it just makes you think and you can really start to see the pitfalls and traps that as gamblers we fall for every time. I felt like an absolute mug after reading it and I wish I had read it sooner. It can be bought for around a fiver on ebay.

People take up gambling often to fill a void in their life. When you stop, you need to fill that gap with something productive, something that makes you feel positive and constructive. It could be a new hobby, or getting in shape, DIY, sports, music...whatever. Set small targets for yourself and see your confidence grow. Try something that gives you direction and focus, perhaps something that mirrors what you are interested in gambling for....are you competitive, do you like gaming, competitions, being right? If you like to make a few quid, take up buying and selling on ebay or something. That's what I did and it keeps me really busy and also helps put some cash back in the bank.

There's so much you can do to fill that void that gambling leaves behind and when you do, you'll stop counting the days and make the days count instead.

Best wishes. 

 
Posted : 17th January 2020 8:01 am
(@shireena)
Posts: 7
 

I have been two weeks clean and finding very hard as there’s so much tension around the atmosphere. It is hard I have 6 relapses since I decided to stop gambling last year. It’s not easy but you have to be ready to do it yourself before I was doing it to keep everyone else happy. I find that both days are important the day you first tried and the second when you actually take action. I’ve been trying for a year now but actually taken action nearly 2 weeks ago

 
Posted : 17th January 2020 7:59 pm
(@sophie-is-free)
Posts: 6
 

Hi spenditlikewater,

 

Congrats on quitting. I wouldn’t put to much emphasis on what day you stopped, it’s about taking each day at a time and not relapsing. 

I have also overcome my gambling addiction, and have not once felt a craving and this is because I have quit by reading Allen Carr’s easy way to quit gambling. It says in the book that the addiction is 1% of the problem and the other 99% psychological which is so true... I always recommend that book when I hear someone struggle with withdrawal symptoms...because that generally mean that one still sees that gambling did something for one...like a crutch hence we feel deprived... 

to stop an addiction based on willpower is very hard...apparently people with the most willpower are addicts...otherwise we would have gave in when we saw that it’s damaging our lives...all this info is in that book...! 

ive used the same type of books for my smoking and over eating addictions as well and have overcome that as well just as easy 

 

good luck with this

xx

 
Posted : 17th January 2020 10:05 pm

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