Stuck in Life

Hi Mobilephone,

Thanks for sharing your post here on the GamCare forum.  

A couple suggestions to reduce your risk of relapse could be to register with GamStop and to use a banking App that freezes your ability to spend on gambling sites.

GamStop (National self-exclusion scheme for online gambling)

0800 138 6518

https://www.gamstop.co.uk/

GamCare website page about banks blocking payments to gambling companies:

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/self-help/finance-and-debt-management/#banks

As you are worried about debts, you could also consider using a free debt advice service like MoneyHelper

Money Helper

0800 138 7777

https://www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/money-troubles/dealing-with-debt/tackling-problem-gambling-and-debt?source=mas#

You've mentioned that you have a lot going on in your personal life and that you feel out of control.  Please call us on freephone 0808 8020 133 so we can help you get further support.

Take care,

Adam.

Naturally some good, strong advice from Admin, which if followed, will certainly assist you greatly in your situation. 

What I will add, is that one of the first things, a gambler needs to come to terms with is it's no good blaming others.

We make the choice to gamble and it can be for numerous reasons.

What we need to do is look at those reasons and where possible do something about them.

In the distant past, certainly pre Internet days, virtually nothing was available to support gambling addicts like me, but as admin has linked to, there is support both in person and through exclusion schemes available nowadays. 

There's absolutely no shame in using that support and at the height of my addiction I wish it would have been available. I rather embarrassingly at 30 odd, beared my soul to my mother, but I'm so glad I did. 

You can make positive changes, but you need to be the one to get things going, by making a call or via the online methods suggested. 

First of all you must understand support methods won't actually stop you from finding a way to gamble ....

They just do what they say on the tin ....support 

This community unfortunately is pretty disjointed Many people turn up on this forum after a heavy loss with their tails between their legs seeking redemption preach good intentions and abstinence post for 2 weeks payday arrives and then they disappear until it all becomes too much again

You see gamblers often don't like admitting defeat and they don't like accepting responsibility either 

The compulsive gambler is a very complex personality disorder that interlinks with other prevalent issues in your life identify these tackle them and you will begin your journey to recovery 

It has taken me around 10 years to come to terms with it and finally move on from the obsession i had with it 

With regards to the debt nobody here is really qualified to comment on it , you need to speak to a debt charity or insolvency practitioner 

The gambling companies will not refund it , you can forget about that avenue

These gambling companies know there are addicted people, and they don't care because that's the majority of their business. You see all these ad's on TV about how they have controls to help people, which means they know that people have problems. They also promote these services because they have to, and for them it's just another way to advertise on TV and other places.

The bottom line therefore is, they won't refund your money. Even when you win, it can sometimes be a struggle to get a payout from them, so the bottomline is to just stop using them. Whilst that's a lot easier said than done, I would recommend blocking these sites. Whilst it doesn't restrict every gambling avenue and there are ways to circumvent it, it certainly makes it a lot more difficult and therefore can sometimes be just enough to prevent a relapse.
I also had an issue with online casinos & roulette and blackjack in the past and have since self excluded for 5 years on pretty much every website I managed to find that let me sign up, so the only ones left are only really shady ones that there is no way I would give them my money even if I was desperate, I would recommend to self exclude too, it certainly removes at least a portion of the temptation to do it.

Whilst nobody here will be able to give you a solution that gets your money back, just remember there are people that are a lot worse off than you here too. People who have gambles tens of thousands (or even hundreds of thousands). You have to see it this way; if you don't stop now, that could be you in 5 or 10 years time, so don't let it happen.

My best suggestion for your overdraft would be to talk to your bank and agree on an affordable amount you can repay to it each month. An overdraft is not like a loan, it is just a debt that will accumulate interest the longer you keep it but you are not (usually) bound to fixed repayments each month. Therefore, find an amount (that won't leave you short each month) after you get paid from your work (assuming you work), and then gradually pay it back over the next XX months, however many that may be in your situation. When you break it down into £50 or £100 per month, it does not feel as bad as being several thousand in debt. Whilst the debt won't go away instantly, it will gradually go down. Whatever you do, don't spend your next payday on trying to get back those losses, because I can tell you from my experience, you can do that 100s of times and it's never coming back, your debt will just get worse - So stick at it, use the support & advice on this forum, and best wishes for getting out of this sticky situation sooner than later.

@michaelscott92

Everything you've said somehow has helped me just from reading what you typed out; thank you. Saying it could be worse it makes perfect sense. I just hate what gambling does to the mind and phycology they say when you get hooked it changes brain chemistry I just wish there was a cure or instant fix.

I stopped for a good solid year but then started again - it's the winnings that get me or near misses seeing in the corner of the screen 'x amount of players won' and always thinking why can't that be me....

I think after a certian amount of days, the mind starts to rest a bit more I don't know fully how it all works phycologically wise but I feel a bit easier talking to people like you. I have tried the software in the past but because I'm good with computers it's too easy for me to workaround it.

I hope you have a good success in this journey too, but I really needed to take a moment to thank you for the responce it made a lot of sense. I just really hope I can stick to myself and overcome this addiction.

Hi, reading the replies you have received there are a couple of things which you need to take some positives from. Givemethe buzz is right in saying there are many people who come on here "seeking redemption" but not being strong enough to continue thier abstinance. There are also many stories of people who have found a way to get through the first hard weeks and continue their recovery. I was in your position in June last year but by putting all the blocks in place, gamstop, betblocker on my phone, both for 5 years and getting my bank to block gambling transactions I was not able to gamble when the urge was there. Also contact Gaqmcare and get some counselling, they are really supportive. Regarding your debt michaelscott92 says there are many people worse off than you, that is irrelevant as no matter how much you are in debt you are still a compulsive gambler so you are in the same boat as someone who has lost a lot more, myself included.

To help manage the debt I contscted Stepchange who are brilliant and I now have a payment plan in place to pay off my debts at an affordable amount. This will take a long time but took a lot of pressure off.

I am now over a year gamble free, it's been a bumpy road but you can get there

Good luck with however you move forward