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Self exclusion, Help!!!!  

 
Sh1987
(@sh1987)

Hi, 

 

Need some help and advice, A couple of years ago I self excluded from all sites through gamstop, I sent them a copy of passport, gave address, email, name and date of birth. Since then I have tried and tried to get onsites with no luck and eventually stopped trying. Since lockdown I have tried again since no bookies are open, I signed up to gambling site who are registered on gamstop, I sent a passport, gave them name and date of birth but my email address was different and address is different now. I was surprised tgey let me join and spent £1000 on there site in a day. I ha e now emailed them to let them know I have been registered with gamstop and shouldnt of been allowed to bet so am demanding my money back I have lost as I am sure if I had won money amd they had realised I was registered to gamstop and the tables were turned they would take my money off me. Will I get my money back???? 

This topic was modified 1 week ago by Sh1987
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Posted : 15th November 2020 2:36 pm
Loulou
(@loulou)

Have you tried contacting gamstop they have a live chat on their website and a phone number

And the gambling commission? 

I hope you have updated your new details now and dont forget gamcare can offer treatment.

I do hope you get a refund but I think the most important thing is to seek further help for your addiction and prevent this again in the future x

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th November 2020 2:42 pm
Sh1987
(@sh1987)

Hi, thanks for your reply, I have contacted gamstop who have told me to contact the gambling company, I have contacted the gambling company and they have instructed me to send an email to gamstop amd to cc them in the email to investigate. Said this will take 7 days to get an outcome, obviuosly this a long time to wait as I have lost all my month's wages in a day and would like a decision sooner, I just wants people's stories of anyyhing similar happening who got there money back to put my mind at rest. 

This post was modified 1 week ago by Sh1987
ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th November 2020 2:49 pm
Stace🌹
(@stace)

Hi sh1987, 

yes it happened to me, the only detail that was different was my address. I emailed the site directly, my money was refunded a few days after and they excluded me. 

Do seek help though, because if you get it back, what's to say you won't go searching for more sites and lose it all again.

take care, stace

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th November 2020 3:13 pm
Sh1987
(@sh1987)

Hi, 

 

Thanks for your reply and gives me some hope I will have my money  I returned. I have registered to gamstop and am definitley gonna update my details with them as I don't want the chance of getting on online sites at all cos sometimes I am weak and go on these sites or the bookies when they are open and only realise how stupid I am being until after I have lost everything. I am on the waiting list for options and have been through options twice before aswel I just seem to go back to it somehow.

 

Thanks 

 

Stuart 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th November 2020 3:39 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

Hello sh1987 and welcome.

I am going to sound a little tougher but thats because I care about you.

If you are putting these self exclusion blocks on but rattling to get past them you need a stronger foundation of help and a real born again moment.

I see this question come up quite often now from confused and hurt people in the early stages of recovery or thinking about recovery.

You have stated yourself that a couple of the register details have been changed...do you think the gambling dens are your guardian angels?...do you think they are angels who care about your protection?

Of course you got in fairly easily but you were trying your chances and you know that. I wonder if you would be complaining if you got some money out or broke even against all odds?

A recovery involves more than gamstop and you should realise that. Please tell people close and get your money protected. You cant play at this in a rattling confusion as your addiction wont let you go easily.

We could all say there there and take care but we wont be the people you thank when you finally see the light about what is needed here.

If you are breaking blocks or fighting them then they should not be your main tool of defence.

Far more importantly you should be on an allowance with your money protected. Somebody close should be monitoring and asking you why you havent got better things to be doing with your time and money...no excuse to say you are bored

You should be blocked everywhere with your picture in circulation. It should also be noted on your file that you have tried to get back in anyway.

This is not about pointing at you like a bad boy. Its about saving your life!

Whether you get paid back or not is another matter and its all a symptom of your addiction. The problem is you gambled again when you need full abstention with all the help you can get from other people

You cant do this alone without help from people close and afar

Your main issue is that you need to reach out properly to stop the gambling...I would stop you but from what you have written I get the sense that your addiction would fight me every step of the way

 If you get miffed with me..... well..I want to make you think about this. I spent forty years then 10 months on this forum before I did anything properly to recover.

I got angry with the person who pointed out I was playing at recovery. How dare they I thought!

Now I thank that person from the bottom of my heart...my biggest regret being I cant remember his/her name because I was too busy deleting all my threads and messages in a spiteful huff.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

 

This post was modified 1 week ago 2 times by Joydivider
ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th November 2020 6:11 pm
Chezzy
(@chezzy)

Joy divider. .that was best post I've personally ever read and so true. You've got to want it to achieve it.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th November 2020 6:54 pm
Stace🌹
(@stace)

It all happened pretty quick with me , money was refunded fast. You can self exclude your self from bookies aswel you know, not quite sure how as it isn't somewere I've ever been , but you could ask forum admin, not sure if you sign up to something or just go in and ask to be excluded.

I too am the same, I keep going back to gambling, it's doing my head in so much as I'm trying so hard to stop. I need to deal with my mental health as escaping from that is what drives me to gamble. 

I wish u the best and please try get all blocks in place so if they do refund then u can't go gamble again. In the meantime also as you've spent all your money, if you don't have enough food , don't be to proud to use a food bank. 

Take care, stace

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th November 2020 7:01 pm
Sh1987
(@sh1987)

Hi @joydivider

 

Believe it or not I totally agree with you and what you say, I know I should stop and I hate myself for continuing and getting myself in this position again and again and again and it goes on. I have stopped for some periods in my Life but it never lasts, I dont know what it is that draws me to bet and ruin my life. I have tried my ex partner use to have my money but somehow got around it until I was kicked out from my family home. I often lay there and think how different my life would be without betting and would it make me happier, hopefully it a thought that can come true one day. Thank you for your words and I will take them all on board, I really need to do it this time as I'm not sure how much more my mental health can handle.

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th November 2020 7:48 pm
Sh1987
(@sh1987)

Hi stace 

 

I have tried to put as many restrictions in place that I can when I feel strong and really wanna stop, then this voice slowly creeps back  when I am down amd I start again on this up and down journey until I'm finally down again. Hopefully I can do it this time and I hope you can too as it sounds like you are putting alot of restrictions in place to.

 

All the best 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th November 2020 7:52 pm
Mickpa
(@mickpa)

I hope you stop man or its a lie of misery for you.

Todays society always blames someone else and lets face the truth here, you changed your details to get membership and gambled knowing very well that you shouldn't. It ain't their fault its yours as you were deceitful.

Its not spiteful to say that I hope you don't get your money back as you need another reminder of this dreadful life we gamblers lead. Lies, cheating, deceit and a waste of time and money that we can ill afford.

If you get it back and never gamble again then its the perfect result - but you obviously will gamble again as you haven't yet hit that point.

Good luck and I truly hope you quite soon - I'm 62 and gambled since my teens. I'm an ordinary bloke and have wasted so much time and hundreds of thousands gambling on horses in the main and I bitterly bitterly regret it. Don't look back and be saying the same as me when you reach my age.

Quit and quit completely. No gambling whatsoever. No little bets that mates put on for you....its got to be nothing or you will slip back. No bets in towns or bookies where they don't know you. Nothing ever or you will slip back. 

I know......trust me......I know.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 16th November 2020 10:31 am
Sh1987
(@sh1987)

Hi @mickpa

 

Thank you for your reply, I have really tried to stop completely and I know deep down its what I should do, but everytime I try over a few months i get massively down and start putting little bets on to perk up my mood, before I know it I'm thousands in debt everytime and back to square one, I know I need to stop completely but I find it so hard that it actually brings me to tears at some points and even suicidal thoughts, I'm hoping this is a turning point for me as I have lost everything already and now the only way is up. 

 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 16th November 2020 1:37 pm
DaveS1988
(@daves1988)

Make sure you contact Gamstop and give them your up to date details. It's up to us to keep them up to date, so that they can effectively help us. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 16th November 2020 3:30 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hello SH1987,

It is good that you are using the forum and talking about your gambling / recovery.  

You've mentioned in previous threads that you've attended counselling in the past and GA meetings, it sounds like you have made real efforts to pursue recovery over the years.  If you are finding it difficult to achieve stability in recovery, maybe consider returning to treatment, if you aren't already in treatment currently?  Many people have more than one treatment cycle, some people have several rounds of treatment over the years, and of course some people attend GA on an ongoing basis.   

Maybe see support for your recovery a bit like exercising to maintain your fitness, (You don't get fit and then stop exercising, you exercise regularly to maintain your fitness).   How might you support your recovery now, might it include a trip to your GP to talk about the recurring low mood you experience, the suicidal feelings you have sometimes experienced?  Would you like to look at self-help resources, courses, or treatment options?  

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/our-treatment-offer/

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/self-help/gamechange/

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/self-help/self-help-resources/

https://www.thecalmzone.net/

Please call us on our 24 hour freephone 0808 8020 133 or on our netline, any time you feel like talking about your recovery and the support options freely available.

Take care,

Adam. 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 16th November 2020 10:14 pm
Sh1987
(@sh1987)

Hi Adam, 

 

 

Thank you for the links, I have put my name forward for some online treatment. I am currently on the waiting list for options. I was on antidepressants and after six weeks of taking them the doctor was suppose to call me to see how I was getting on with them and give me another prescription, I never got a Call, I have tried to call the doctors numerous times with no luck, I have put two e-consults in with no reply, also 2 councillors from options in southampton have tried to reach my surgery with no luck even making one Councillor email me to say she had tried and found it disgusting people aren't getting the help they need because of lockdown. I just feel in a very bad place at the moment with everything going on plus all my personal problems mostly all caused by gambling and feel like everything is getting on top of me. 

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Posted : 16th November 2020 10:45 pm
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