Second Attempt

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(@laird1988)
Posts: 24
Topic starter
 

Signed up in the summer and got to about 50 days gamble free. I was on top of the world, general worries were much lower and I had started to work off my debt. 
As many of our stories go, I started gambling again within my means. I was down most months but with getting refunds for holidays we booked and what not, was still seeing my debt reduce so felt good. The last month this has changed and I have cancelled out a months worth of savings that would have gone on reducing debt built up by years of gambling. I am back because for the first time ever, I can see the light in my goal of my money being at £0 and any saving being my money rather than reducing what I owe. Obviously my other goal is to achieve the feeling of being happy without the demons that come with the highs and lows of betting.

For anyone reading this who are in the early stages, my advice to avoid the same downfall I had is simple. Keep doing what you are doing now (reading peoples stories). I got a few weeks into being debt free and the urges had subsided, I read posts on here everyday (the positives inspired me, the negatives reminded me of a situation I didn’t want to be in) I listened to podcasts and spoke to my wife daily about how I felt. Then I got complacent, I stopped listening to the podcasts and didn’t visit this website. A week later and I am back to betting on a daily basis. 

But hear we are and I can only own what I have done and try to get back on track. Hopefully I will get back to 50 days and learn from my mistakes. 
Thanks for reading

 
Posted : 13th February 2021 9:07 pm
Seanj777
(@seanj777)
Posts: 55
 

Hi. 
I signed up to this today and reading stories inspires me to beat my demons. I’ve been a problem gambler many years now and always chasing that big win. Last weekend I hit a all time low and lost a considerable amount of money. I’ve not been online betting a few days and I know like you say we can do this. 
All the best 

 
Posted : 13th February 2021 9:39 pm
Seanj777
(@seanj777)
Posts: 55
 

Lets try hit 50 days together 

 
Posted : 13th February 2021 9:40 pm
(@laird1988)
Posts: 24
Topic starter
 

Good on you! I spent years saying I was stopping and I was lying to myself, I really tried last time and even though I slipped it has given me confidence that it is definitely achievable because before my slip I was doing really well. Just got to keep trying and this time avoid complacency. I took the dog for a walk earlier and listened to The After Gambling Podcast and it has got me back focused to start again commit to beating this addiction  

 
Posted : 13th February 2021 9:43 pm
Seanj777
(@seanj777)
Posts: 55
 

Last weekend was a really big slip for me. This lockdown I feel isn’t helping. I felt so low and I know in my mind time is a healer. Keeping busy helps. Thankyou for the replies and chat. Will always take time to look at the days clocking up and think great they are doing well 

 
Posted : 13th February 2021 9:49 pm
(@roulettegotme)
Posts: 82
 

It’s good reading all the stories here. Today is only my day 1 but will check out that podcast you mention. 

 
Posted : 13th February 2021 10:37 pm
(@moregamesmoreproblem)
Posts: 53
 

You did well to make it to 50 days and I know you can do even better this time!

It's almost like a constant battle with yourself isn't it or that's how it feels to me, I've got a part of my brain that says to stay away and not gamble it's not worth it....and another side that keeps tempting me back to give it one more go, trying to rationalise it, thinking I can control it when obviously I cannot...... so I have to make the decision to stop every day. And I can't just rely on myself, I need help to be GF. Support from others, blockers, distractions etc. I'm on day 9 so still at the start of the journey. Let's keep going, let's take it one day at a time.

 
Posted : 14th February 2021 12:36 am
Joydivider
(@joydivider)
Posts: 2156
 

Hi Laird1988 and Welcome to the forum.

Try not to think of it as a second attempt or being back at square one. Its more of a build up to realising what you really have to do to fight this.

The addiction will cower when it knows the fight is really on. It takes more than your willpower alone. The door was open for you to gamble and the addiction bides its time because it know taht its still controlling you.

Can your wife manage the level of money you are allowed access to? Have you self excluded nationally? 

Im afraid it takes more than reading the forum and listening to podcasts. It took me 10 months after joining the forum to do anything positive about it so I do understand. There is a long period known as the denial or early stages.

Its not surprising when the addiction had us for years...decades in my case. It often takes a real rock bottom moment to finally accept what must be done. The addiction becomes us and it gets into our bones.

You will need all the help you can get but that is a positive statement when you are truly ready to face the demon

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

 
Posted : 14th February 2021 9:37 am
Si_mon
(@si_mon)
Posts: 136
 

Hello,

As is mentioned above, don't consider it your second attempt but an onward journey of recovery. I've managed to stay GF for just over 3 years now, mainly with the help of Gamstop as once I signed up I simply gave up trying. I think this was critical to my ability to stay GF as complacency was very much starting to kick in once the pain and financial situation started to ease, 'I can do this in a controlled manner' I'd say one minute, the next I was reminding myself of the horror I'd been through, once I took the advice to sign up to Gamstop I simply stopped having that battle with myself. I still keep myself grounded and visit this site weekly as I know it's a lifestyle change.  Keep posting, keep reading and keep following the road to recovery - I wish you the very best.

 
Posted : 14th February 2021 9:42 pm

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