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random
(@random)

I want to say I haven’t gambled for 5 years now but I don’t think that’s the truth. 

So I will say made the decision 5 years ago that gambling isn’t safe for me after 10 years gambling and 7 of those being problem gambling with various attempts of not gambling even achieving a Year gamble free in that time. 

18 months ago I came across forex trading and decided to give that ago that lasted about 3 months and I realised that I couldn’t do it anymore as I treated it as gambling. 

at the start of the COVID lockdown introduced by the government I went back to forex trading as I wasn’t sure if I would continue to receive a salary as my employer was very vague about our pay. 

I’ve realised that the 2 times I’ve turned to trading is because of financial concern. 18month ago I had a my first child with my partner and the second time was covid. 

I’m 5 years into a 7 year DMP with StepChange. 

Of the 5 years away from gambling I’ve had these 2 troubled periods trading forex. 

my gambling before was slots, horse racing, blackjack and football. If I was bored enough I would gamble on anything. 

I know what I need to do to get back into the place I was a year ago but I’m tired of this process. 

How many more times do I have to jeopardise the good things in my life for short term fixes that always screw me in the long run. 

I’m tired of fighting myself to do what seems logical to everybody else. 

I’m not suicidal I just feel like I want things to go away. 

this is a complete ramble I know but I had to voice it somewhere and I’m not ready to talk to family about this 

Quote
Posted : 13th May 2020 9:32 am
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

Hello and thank you for the share.

Whenever you're trying to justify what is or isn't gambling there's a pretty good chance that gambling in some form is present. In our gamblers anonymous orange book it talks about a total abstinence. No share dealing, no raffle tickets, not even a toss of a coin ideally and that seems to work because if you stay away from the first bet you can't have the second and so on.

I tend to think about it in the same way I do game apps like 8 ball pool just to name an example. 

Not that there is necessarily anything wrong with the game and it's not gambling, but how does it make me feel? What are my actions like when I'm on the app? Do I lose time from loved ones? Do I lie? Do I play it rather than sleep properly? Does playing it affect my behaviour? When I delete it do I feel a sense of relief?

Ask yourself the same with your trading. At a certain time in your gambling it bacame a problem and it became an escape. Is that what you're doing now with your trading?

It sounds like you realise that you know you should leave the trading alone so if so, delete the app and get yourself back to feeling good about yourself.

Good luck

Chris.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 13th May 2020 10:19 am
Pep1952
(@pep1952)

Hi @random

Thanks for sharing your story.  It's good that you managed to identify some of the triggers.  I do know though that sometimes compulsive gamblers don't even have triggers, the strong urges just come out of the blue.  But it's good that you have reflected on it and identified that a financial worry can trigger your gambling.  Hopefully you would develop strong and healthy coping mechanisms to deal with this.

I echo what Chris said, stay away from all forms of gambling.  Take it one day at a time.

I wish you all the best.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 13th May 2020 1:49 pm
random
(@random)

Thanks Both, 

Funnily enough I deleted 8 ball pool at Xmas as I became obsessed and was getting upset when I’d lose a game and coins. 

I know what I need to do from here I’ll feel a bit better once I sort my finances again. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 13th May 2020 2:59 pm
helpneeded44
(@helpneeded44)

Hey - Thanks for sharing and honestly I could wrote it myself. I thought i stopped 5 years ago and did really well. Closed all the site i was but for some reason last year i was worry about money as i had to support my folks and my siblings plus i got my own family and thought was ok a wee flutter but set a limit. Which is stupid as i got brave and increased it each month. lately either too much on staying at home and worry about money etc i just went n**s and huess what i am rock bottom and yeah try get myself to grip again. And joined here after i closed all my accounts. Hope this is first step. You are the first story i read and im away to do mine. please stay strong 

Hey - Thanks for sharing and honestly I could wrote it myself. I thought i stopped 5 years ago and did really well. Closed all the site i was but for some reason last year i was worry about money as i had to support my folks and my siblings plus i got my own family and thought was ok a wee flutter but set a limit. Which is stupid as i got brave and increased it each month. lately either too much on staying at home and worry about money etc i just went n**s and huess what i am rock bottom and yeah try get myself to grip again. And joined here after i closed all my accounts. Hope this is first step. You are the first story i read and im away to do mine. please stay strong 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 14th May 2020 3:12 am
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