Messed up again (trigger warning), blew it

Well, I just unexpectedly got fired. They sent me a letter a week ago saying that they may terminate my employment due to failing an extended probation. Which came as a bit of a shock. I've never been a great worker but never failed a probation before. Basically some minor issues (IMO) that they all saved up and told me at the end. Had my chance to defend myself in a meeting and mentioned depression diagnosis but they weren't having any of it. Ended up packing things up flanked by two guys in front of the office. At one time I would've felt pretty humiliated, but sort of didn't care (about the way it went down). This came a few weeks after those massive pending withdrawals.

So I went from being potentially debt free due to those wins that I tried to collect (5 figure sums) to maxed out and NEET again. At the time I thought I'd just have to suck it up and pay back debt the hard way and spend another year living at my parents. I've being trying to move out since 2017, and it's another blow. Took me over a year last time in this S****y town to find an office job similar to the ones I've worked most of my life. I just can't get to anywhere else. Probably looking at minimum wage, but it might take a while to get one of those especially full time. And that won't make much of a dent in the debt even when living with parents.

Kind of accepted it's over now. I'll be calling StepChange tomorrow to hopefully get a grace period from creditors. That will likely only be a month or so. If bankruptcy happens then my life insurance policy might be risk which would be would affect me a great deal. If it wasn't for the MAOI I'm self medicating with, I'd be in bigger trouble. Have to spend a lot to get it because the docs wouldn't prescribe it due to potentially lethal dietary restrictions, which is based on outdated research. I cautiously watched my diet at first but it turns out I can pretty much eat what I want. I won't be going back to the Doctor for anything depression related. I might not be able to afford it, and the planned consultation with a private psychiatrist. Kratom helps too, again won't potentially be able to afford it.

I thought about it and can trace all this s**t back to one day back in 2016. Things have only got worse since. Hell they've been getting worse really since 2002 just not to such an extent. I sound like a whiner because I know a few others here have been through more and are in deeper s**t. They all seem to have something to fight for though, which I admire. I don't care that much. I don't want to go on a first date at age 42 for example.

So yeah, I'm now a middle age NEET again.

Posted by: Givemethebuzz

@sardo i commented on one of your threads last week advising a course of action for your situation regarding the potential loss of your job / bankruptcy etc  

i can't find the thread now but i hope you managed to take some of it on board ,

in this thread you talk a lot about it being "too late" for you to create a decent lifestyle 

you talk about wanting a higher paying job, a mortgage a family etc 

these are not ready made things you can just go and pick up off the shelf .....they usually manifest through living your normal life they can appear at any stage 

not being able to have a mortgage isn't the end of the world !?! .....our housing market is on the verge of collapse anyway and property is grossly inflated due to false economy the days of the old fashioned

" you cant lose money on bricks and mortar" are long long gone 

family's are stressful i dont have any kids and dont really want any ........but everyone i know that does mainly complains about how hard work they are and how unrelenting it is raising them 

the grass isnt always greener 

as far as jobs go the old 9-5 is well past its sell by date ......theres a million and one ways you can make money online these days .....use some of that time that you are spending wallowing in pity to find some ideas

i sell some clothes online through various online channels .....some days i can make more than i make in a week in my boring 9-5

anything is possible but first you must sort your mindset out

 

Hi - thanks for this. I couldn't find the thread either. It might be a good thing for this forum to have the ability to search by user threads etc, but maybe they don't have it for a reason.

With regards to making money, trouble is I owe a low-mid 5 figure sum (and more to parents), so the job I had was the most realistic way of paying it back. I'd have no idea to emulate that outside of a 9-5. I've got no skills really. I looked into dropshipping, but that seems pie in the sky and needs luck as well as advertising budget. The fact that guys are selling courses on it instead of doing themselves makes you skeptical.