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lockdown has nearly killed me  

 
maxmaher
(@maxmaher)

hi all just wondering if anyone else is finding this lock down as difficult as i am and not just from a gambling perspective 

being based in wales for some reason we are 4 weeks behind the rest of the UK people are still too scared to leave their houses here and businesses are going through faster than infections the economic effect this virus has had is going to be felt for generations to come

ive had issues with gambling for years but largely through setting goals and keeping busy managed to keep it under control , but when life gets a bit too much i tend to turn to it and do my bollax in 

i did my bollaz in at the start of lockdown in march and blew about 350 quid in an hour online because i thought it was going to be the end of the world the news was making it out to be doomsday thought why not we are all going to die now anyway

my partner managed to calm me down and we ambled on through it i left the gambling and went cold turkey but as the months rolled on the house started to feel like a prison theres nowhere to go or nothing to do every ounce of willpower and motivation has been drained from me 

its the end of july and it hasnt stopped raining for weeks here so even getting out for fresh air has become akin to a military operation 

yesterday was the final nail in coffin life became a bit too much and i turned to a bet on the football to try and perk me up a bit 

the bet came close but ultimately lost , then i chased up with a bet on another game that was done by half time and then i went and did my bollax in online blackjack all in the bookie took me for about 200 yesterday  still have some cash left in the account but dont think i can face logging back into it today to withdraw it 

losing the money doesn't really bother me as there is nothing else i can spend it on at the moment anyway but just feeling a bit fed up of it all my self motivation has never been this low , i have put on 2 stone during lockdown becuase no gyms are open to exercise , i struggle to sleep as my days have no routine to them and i am starting to lose my hair because of the depression 

this morning i could barely be bothered to drag myself out of bed and get dressed and that is not like me at all 

sorry for all the moaning i just wonder if anyone else is feeling like this or maybe i am just wallowing in self pity and need a good kick up the a**e

( feel free ) 

cheers max

 

Quote
Posted : 27th July 2020 10:20 am
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hi Max and welcome to the Forum,

You are certainly not alone in finding lockdown a really difficult experience. As some of our Forum users will testify it has resulted in some turning to more harmful coping mechanisms such as gambling as an escape from the situation we all find ourselves in.

I am really pleased you have come here today though as I don’t want you to feel that you have to do this all alone as there is a lot of support available to you, Rather than giving you a ‘good kick up the a**e’ one of our Advisers would welcome the opportunity to help you put in a place a plan for your recovery.  They could go through all the tools and support available to you as well as offering you a referral for 1 to 1 support if this is something that you'd find beneficial. 

I do understand that when motivation is low, it can be difficult to see a way forward, but we could help you start taking little steps forward, one of which may be making an appointment with your GP, to talk about how you are feeling and the struggles you are having to sleep.

Please don’t feel that you need to apologise for the ‘moaning’,  talking about how you are feeling is a great step and we are all here to support you through this.

If you’d like some extra support please do get in touch with us on 0808 8020 133 or contact us on our NetLine if you find typing easier than speaking on the phone. We are here to support you 24/7.

Kind regards

ChrisK

Forum Admin

ReplyQuote
Posted : 27th July 2020 11:26 am
adam123
(@adam123)

Kick....../..............!

ReplyQuote
Posted : 27th July 2020 4:43 pm
adam123
(@adam123)

This lockdown has definitely had an effect on everyone's mental health, you are not alone in this.  I've been working throughout but have still become very depressed.  I think we need to give everyone support and try our hardest to maintain a positive attitude.  All the best adam

ReplyQuote
Posted : 27th July 2020 4:47 pm
Jacek
(@jacek)

Hi Max,

i know exactly what are you going through. I’ve lost approx 25k during lockdown since March and stopped only 2 weeks ago. I had issues before when last year jan/feb i lost apporx 30k and year before 20k. I’ve revoked myself from all casinos in london last year but with casinos getting reopen this weekend on 1st of aug i’ve got only in my mind thoughts like i’m f****d anyway so let’s take whatever money i still can get and try to recover something. I’ve got number for self exclusion from advisors on this website so first thing tomorrow morning i have to call them and make sure i will not be allowed in any casinos in London otherwise i can’t trust myself. Lockdown is disaster for people with gambling issues as we’ve got too much free time on our hands and also feeling depressed cuz of lack of people company is not helping. I’m looking for some activities on the weekends to keep myself busy. Preferably part-time job as i’m in 50k debt due to gambling addiction. I think for me keeping myself busy is the only thing that helps. After repeating same mistakes almost every year I have finally understood that the only way out is to stop completely and only then worry about sorting out financial issues. At the end of a day it is only f****g money and people are much less fortunate than us living in UK. We can make everything right but there is only one condition. We have to stop gambling. The worse that can happen to me is to go this weekend to casino and win some significant amount of money. So I’m trying to take all steps I can to not be allowed to gamble.

i know it is all easy to say and i can guarantee i will not be first in line casino on saturday but i have to try what i can to prevent it. Same advice i can give you. Block yourself from online gambling and all bookies and everything related to gambling. I’m telling all people i know to not mention or send me any content gambling related. I will have to live like that from now on. I thought  i’ve got everything in control still in feb this year and all those issues are behind me. But unfortunately this stays for all life like alcoholism. Only way out is not to gamble ever again.

take care,

Jacek

ReplyQuote
Posted : 28th July 2020 2:02 am
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