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Justifying your gambling  

 
Vin47
(@vin47)

It’s scary the way the mind works when you’re trapped in the gambling cycle. I would justify my gambling by convincing myself it was ok because

- I don’t spend £100 on cigs a week like the woman at work. 
- I don’t spend £70/£80 on a night out every week. 
-the bills are paid on time. 
-I didn’t blow £1000 on a horse bet like the bloke at work did. 
All reasons I used to convince myself I didn’t have a problem. Even now still looking for reasons to justify further gambling but Gamstop has saved me thankfully. 

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Posted : 19th November 2019 7:26 pm
Theonlywayisup
(@theonlywayisup)

Crazy isn’t it. I was exactly the same (was as in just a few months ago..). I’d be obsessive about it and do it to the penny. I’d get new shoes for work, and order the £35 pair rather than £60 as that would give me £25 free gambling money. 

 

I always took took pride in not blowing my money on nights out each week etc, while blowing 100x as much on a fake roulette wheel. It’s absolute madness. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 19th November 2019 8:30 pm
SteSteB
(@stesteb)

My mind would be blown at the thought of a friend of mine wanting to spend £5000 on a handbag and yet I was £1000s into loans and credit cards which I had pumped into gambling.

 

My mind now cant believe I used to do That. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 19th November 2019 9:28 pm
ALL AT SEA
(@all-at-sea)

Ive been gamble free now for over a month , in that time I've cleared some  crucial arrears , and actually bought things for my business . and do you know what I'm actually tight with money . except when it came [ remember to use a past tense ] to gambling , where i'd think nothing of blowing hundreds . Now money has value again , i am treating it with respect . so your above post makes sense , there is no logic . 

This post was modified 3 weeks ago by ALL AT SEA
ReplyQuote
Posted : 19th November 2019 9:58 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

Crazy isn't it and proof thast is is an illness.

What people need to get to grips with is your own mind is working against you. A mind that is supposed to protect and care for you is actually destroying us. Its a split mind thing...part of my mind did realise the danger at the time but seemed powerless to stop it. I knew it was wrong but couldnt walk away and that it truly scary to think about now

This is a topic that should have its own debate section. Im not sure if my mind was entirely justifying my gambling but I had many thoughts which fueled the urges and my desire to stay there.

I went through all the stages of riding the losses and thinking its only money and I can survive...£100 isnt the end of the world etc... The truth is I have never been comfortable enough or able to chuck any money away like that.

I had an ill relationship with money and with life. Part of the problem is that I hated having limited money so my bigger dreams were on hold...scared to spend it...bills depressed me. I would resent paying bills and take that bill money to gamble

My addiction progressed and it soon became thousands a year that I would think of borrowing back. My confused thoughts we of defrauding my parents or credit companies for the money back so no worries eh!

I would have delusional thoughts that it was a sensible thing to try and win some money. My confused thoughts would tell me that it was easy to get regular small amounts and that I could be a clever gambler by not thinking too big.

Then we get to the core of the illness...well its better than being on the grey streets outside or look I'm part of something instead of being lonely and aimless outside. The fix is a drug addiction. Its not really about the money and thats why its extremely dangerous

I became ill with money... I was scared to spend money...I can be very tight and careful with money so why was I a compulsive gambler? It often hooks people that are actually careful with money when briefly away from it.

I would make very careful purchases and then go and blow thousands gambling. It makes absolutely no sense. I was mentally ill with a serious addiction....hooked on something that compelled me to do it again.

I was congratulating myself for a few days between binges when I joined the forum.

It is very scary the mind works. I was mentally ill and I dont shy away from that term. 

Best wishes to everyone on the forum

This post was modified 3 weeks ago by Joydivider
ReplyQuote
Posted : 20th November 2019 5:28 am
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)

Hi

In my time in the recovery program has helped understand that when I try to justify my actions and my words it indicates that I am being unhealthy.

Deep down I knew that my unhealthy actions and my unhealthy words were not only adversely affecting me but also adversely affecting other people.

I use to justify smoking, yet it was just another form of self abuse.

If I only spent ten pounds on smoking per day, that was over three thousand pounds per year.

If I only spent ten pounds on gambling per day, that was over three thousand pounds per year.

If I only spent ten pounds on alcohol per day, that was over three thousand pounds per year.

Those three unhealthy habits cost me over ten thousand per year.

Over twenty years those three unhealthy habits cost me over two hundred thousand pounds.

Yet that is not even considering the long term damage to my body and my health and to my family.

Why would I escape to some thing which causes me pain.

I found that my fears and my emotional vulnerability would cause me to escape people life and situations I could not cope with.

Yet each time I escaped people life and situations I made thing much worse.

The deeper I got involved with my addictions and obsessions the high levels of fear caused me to go in to panic mode where I was not able to think things out clearly.

No matter what logic or advice I heard it did not stop me from running in my fears.

The gambling addiction was very much based up on the adrenaline rush.

I am was a non religious person could I find a healthy life.

I felt so useless and worthless how could I gain confidence in myself.

Being involved with the gambling addiction was an ongoing loss of communication with myself and other people.

I could not be honest with myself, hence I could not be honest with people close to me.

The more fears that grew in my life I could not over come my fears of emotional intimacy.

The pains of my life caused fears in me that I did not understand.

The growing fears caused me to want to escape people and being honest.

The gambling addiction was causing me more fears and grater pains.

On walking in to the recovery program I could not or would not be able to articulate my feelings and my emotions.

Yet in time by attending meetings my fears would reduce.

As my fears reduced my trust grew slowly at first and over time I would no longer want or need to talk about gambling or money lost.

The healthy people in the recovery program would help me from living in every day fears.

I would recognize that I had control issues, that I was inadequate insecure immature, unhealed, that I had lost all faith and hope in myself.

I did not respect myself or money, that I did not care about myself, I thought the only way I could feel successful in myself was by having easy money.

The healthy people in the recovery program would help me understand that in time by becoming healthy and motivated I would become proud of myself.

No more guilt shame or regret, no more living in fear, no more procrastinating, no more lies, just being myself, no more person plesing, no more the victim, no more the perpetrator, no more the rescuer.

I would move from having unhealthy reactions to people life and situations, instead I would interact with people life and situations.  

The healthy people in the recovery program would help me understand that in time I could make healthier choices.

The healthy people in the recovery program were almost like mountain climbers showing and demonstrating me to make safer decisions, to think before I react in unhealthy ways.

By attending meetings I would move from being a dysfunctional person to becoming a healthy person.

By peeling back the onion I would over time expose my suppressed hurt inner child.

I have been in recovery over 50 years, since 1969, why attend meetings today, do I fear gambling, no not at all, do I hate gambling, no not at all, for me gambling would be an unhealthy choice.

I attend meetings today because I know how much more healthy I can become, I know how much more productive I can become, I know how important my interactions with people are today.

The longer I remain in the recovery program and do the work the more rewards I can achieve.

For me it is not possible to buy confidence with money, for me it is not possible to buy pride with money.

I do not need to give money or gifts to express my love or feelings towards other people today.

I use to fear computers, that has changed today.

I use to fear emotional intimacy, that has changed today.

I use to fear the opposite s*x, that has changed today.

I use to fear being alone, that has changed today.

I use to fear being myself, that has changed today.

Once our fears are faced there is no end to what we can achieve each day.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

ReplyQuote
Posted : 20th November 2019 10:24 am
Givemethebuzz
(@givemethebuzz)

ive come up with all kind of fantasy's to convince myself my gambling was under control and proactive

my gambling career spanned over 10 years and over the course s i was a professional blackjack counter , a roulette physics expert and then finally a professional sports analyst 

off course in reality i was none of the above 

i was just another idiot paying his idiot tax to the casinos and online operators

it was 10 years of fantasy and delusion that hasn't left me with an awful lot to show for it aside from many sleepless nights and stress lines

fortunately after one too many losing streaks earlier this year the curtain finally fell down and i finally could see how pointless and time consuming it all was 

 

 

 

 

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Posted : 21st November 2019 9:34 am
Theonlywayisup
(@theonlywayisup)
Posted by: The only way is up

Ive been gamble free now for over a month , in that time I've cleared some  crucial arrears , and actually bought things for my business . and do you know what I'm actually tight with money . except when it came [ remember to use a past tense ] to gambling , where i'd think nothing of blowing hundreds . Now money has value again , i am treating it with respect . so your above post makes sense , there is no logic . 

Excellent name choice, I must say.

Keep up the good work. The real challenge comes when the pain softens a fair way into the future.  

 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 21st November 2019 10:00 pm
ALL AT SEA
(@all-at-sea)

Ive changed my name as there is another one somehow !!! all at sea is my new name 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st December 2019 10:33 pm
ALL AT SEA
(@all-at-sea)
Posted by: ALL AT SEA

Ive changed my name as there is another one somehow !!! all at sea is my new name 

Oh Yes  hahahahaha

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Posted : 1st December 2019 10:35 pm
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