After 1.5 weeks of no gambling. Could've taken £3k too. I think this is it ppl. No chance of moving out of my parents' house (I'm 36), I hate my job things are getting overwhelming. If I never gambled again and everything went perfectly it would be a poor consolation prize. 40k debt. I thought this way after I lost that business venture before I spent a single pound on roulette online.
Who cares if I never gamble again, it doesn't matter anymore. I've only been gambling for 10 months ffs, going to this b******t joball I want is to disappear. I live with my parents, it would 16 months to pay off enough debt a t a job i can barely stand each week. I don't care anymore and it's TOO LATE. The worst thing is I could've had a decent life. I hope I die in my sleep, except there's no chance of that.
Hi.. I understand the feeling of wanting to die in my sleep. Ive been there many times. It does pass though, it always does
You could always default on your debts, tell them your addicted to gambling ( mainstream creditors are sympathetic as they deal with it all the time) , get interest frozen and enter into payment plans at a much much lower rate. Debts could then just be something in background, that you just manage from time to time as needed. Debts don't stress me anymore, its having money to eat and keep a roof over my head that stresses me.
Also don't work yourself into an early grave. Work is not the be all and end all.
take care... S.A
OK guys calmed down slightly now although I still have no idea whats going to happen. Looks like I'm going to default on a few payments and will struggle to get through to next payday. I might have to get a payday loan, although I'll try to avoid it.
My immediate concern is getting through each day with this job, I leave the house at 07:40am or so and when I come back at 6pm ish I'm ready to explode. And then the end of each s**t month I hand over most of my paycheck to the debt companies (or in this case to the casino) putting small amounts in to reduce it. I'm on initial probation, and to cut a long story short I'm not sure if I'm going to make it. Last week was pretty bad, almost lost it. I've got no goals or any optimism and think about not existing frequently just as a way to calm down (although no active plans).
The debt charities have said that since I can meet the min payments/loan arrangements/interest charges as it is after adding everything up it really is just a case of handing everything over, which is OK but this is going to take so long here living with my parents at this job. I shouldn't complain, it's all my own fault. And at the end of it all, if I put in a herculean effort and manage not to get fired I'm going to 40 ish, still wageslaving, still paying off debt, little relationship experience, no chance of family (although in my case that's probably a good thing), no retiring and so on. And that's the best case scenario, not even the most likely one.
There was a poster here who went by the handle of R85 who I think is in a similar situation, I wonder if he/she still frequents the board.
S.A. - I think you're right, I might have to contact the companies directly. Some of the credit is OK but some is high interest credit card/loan, and the overdraft fees are a couple of hundred a month. But would they accept low payments if I live with my parents? An adviser said I could move out and then negotiate payments, but you wouldn't know what they would say/do until then.
@Lows, I've been looking around at other jobs, but unfortunately I'm limited by location and there aren't many available. There's part of the frustration, when you can't move out. In terms of getting more skills, I have no idea, I've no interest in anything in anything and going back to uni is a big financial undertaking. I did a physics degree many years ago but didn't finish very well and it's more or less redundant now.
I know emotions are high and I promise you, those awful, hopeless feelings will pass. I had to tell myself that today. I didn't want to get out of bed things are so bad I feel so incredibly low. One thing I know about mental illness is the mind lies to you. I went to a GA meeting the other day. One of the guys also said he'd lost thousands but he was still able to laugh about it. I'm at the point where I can't even relate to a group of problem gamblers I am so broken. I don't know what to say that will encourage you, I wouldn't be here if my wish not to wake up had come true. But I know how devastating suicide is to the people we leave behind. Many people recover from huge gambling losses. But you must accept that chasing those losses is what the gambling industry thrives on. Let it go. Hard for me to say that. Speak top stepchange about your debts. You can get through this.
I am very concerned that you said you were feeling at the point that you hoped to die in your sleep last night. You (and your mental and physical health) are worth more than any amount of money. You have had some supportive replies here from other Forum users- that you are not alone feeling like this and that these feelings can pass. I’m glad to read that you feel a little better this morning.
There are some practical strategies you can look into (as S.A. has said)- some free debt advice possibly including a payment plan from the www.nationaldebtline.org.uk, www.PayPlan.com or www.StepChange.org.uk. This may allow you to take the pressure off the amount you are paying per month or length of time and enable you to focus more on the here and now.
We care and it is not too late to talk to us about getting support such as your free one-to-one treatment options. You can call us on the Helpline anytime from 8am until midnight 7 days a week. I would also recommend booking an appointment to see your GP to discuss how you are feeling at the moment. The Samaritans are also available for you to talk to anytime on 116 123 for free 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
Thanks again guys. I know there are others that do have it worse than I do. I struggle with being my age and at my station in life being in so much debt (5 figure brought about from gambling last 12 months) despite having opportunities and possible ways out only for them to fall away or to be squandered. These days just working this 50-55 hour a week job just to pay off debt only for the best case scenario to have reached middle age and having nothing to show for it in many aspects is hard to deal with. I have ideations daily, it makes you calmer in a way or down you down despite having no active plans. I suppose the take away from this is:
If you're already in a bad place don't start reckless gambling and if you are STOP before it really gets out of hand. Easier said than done.
@Stuart - Yeah I saw your GA meeting thread/post where a young guy explained that he had to borrow from family (?) while you have been made homeless in the past - hard to relate. It ,might be hard to relate to me because I can live with parents, whereas you didn't have that option. It's especially tough if you don't have anything, a spouse, your own family to see as a source of inspiration, a job you like or existing assets like a house or even youth. If you have nothing to look forward to, the damage has been done and it requires you to dig deep. I don't have an answer myself, and my issues started before gambling.
i was in your position at 23
11K of debt , depression , poor job , living in parents spare box room
fortunately i ran out of money and goodwill quickly my debt repayments were half my monthly salary and along with other bills i hit the end of the line pretty quickly
despite my family's protests i contacted a debt practioner and by june 2015 i was entered into an IVA
this was arguably the best thing i could of done because it completely removed the credit safety blanket i had to learn to survive on real money again
ive got less than a grand worth of debt now
still periodically battling with gambling but life is a lot more stable than it was
i would definitely recommend contacting a insolvency practioner as soon as possible
@Lowsx100 - how's it going now mate? Are you still gambling?
@givemethebuzz - I've looked into bankruptcy, but it appears that it's not a strict fresh start in all circumstances which is understandable. In the US Chapter 7 works differently compared to the bankruptcy laws here. In the end if you have a job and can meet the min repayments and interest charges, there's not a whole lot of options other than getting 0% interest cards which might prove difficult if you're already borrowing a lot and your rating is trashed.
I haven't gambled since this last debacle (to put it lightly), but have missed payments and my mobile data has been switched off till the 25th (pay day). I'm on probation at work (been there 3 months) and have been advised that improvements need to be made.
I mean there are others that have been worse off than me and I feel like I shouldn't be complaining too much, but the regrets are often in the foreground.
@jwalton871 - thanks. It's been bad recently and I'm not sure what's going to happen. Still coming to terms with being a profound screw up as I enter or am in middle age. No relationships for 13 years (lol) and still working a job category I said I'd leave 10 years ago. All the best in overcoming your struggles if you're in the s**t too.