My dad was a compulsive gambler who had 5 children. We all went into care because he couldn't cope. He wasn't a bad person but his addiction was so bad the water and electricity was cut off time and time again because he never paid the bill. He never admitted he had a problem and died of a heart attack aged 50. He had one bug win in his life, he bought a car and paid some bills. That car didn't last, he sold that and was in debt soon after. I stupidly followed in his footsteps, I thought that two generations of losers wasn't likely, I'd be the winner. Gambling for me became an obsession. It took over my life. I went from having a relationship and winning the employee of the year award to now being a loner and unemployable. I know you won't listen like I didn't listen to my dad when he said it was a mug's game. There is an illusion that gambers can win a huge amount of money. For 99.9 % of gambler that never happens. In 25 years of gambling and literally hundreds of accumalators I've never had a big win. Neither did my dad. It was just decades of misery and losing bets. To young gamblers please know gambling is designed in a way by incredibly intelligent geniuses to take your money from you and rarely pay out. It's also designed in way to get you hooked so when you do get the occasional win, you end up giving it back. If you're young, the most intelligent thing you can do with your life is to never gambler again. Appreciate the things yoiu have like your health. Don't pursue money. The best things in life are free. Money will only make you miserable if you're on this site. I wish I could open your eyes but you will have to learn this life lesson yourself. Do some research on how lucky people who are born in the UK are compared to other parts of the world. I don't want to come across as a hypocrite, my life is a disaster but I'm nearly 44. Believe me thing get very dark when you reach your 40's and you can't stop gambling. I truly don' t wish any young problem gamblers to go through the numerous rock bottoms that I've experienced.
My advice is to put all your energy into meeting a special women/man. They will give you the strength to go on and be the best version of yourself. I have been single for 8 years as my self-esteem is zero. It's not a nice feeling. I don't have any children myself. I don't want young men and women wasting their lives putting all their energy into winning huge amounts of money that will never materialise.
I hope you listen. There are so many generations of sick gamblers on here that will back me up.
Stuart
Hello, my friend.
Sorry to tell you, but most likely they wont listen. Thats because we have all been brainwashed since birth. By society, friends and foremost our parents. For instance we are told by an early age how dangerous riding a motorcycle could be, while on the other hand we find out the ones who are telling us not to do it, do it themselves. We grow up to find out other things may not be so bad that our parents made out to be. So we gamble. We gamble and find out the hard way that it destroys peoples lives. Society has also made it to be a little bit of "harmless fun". Unless people are willing to aknowledge how big an evil this is, and stop doing it themselves, their kids will in no way stop from trying it! Its this centuries epidemic...
Hi Stuart,
Your message really hit home. Since the age of around 17 I have been gambling compulsively and wasting every chance I had been given. That was just over 10 years ago and when I look back and think how much gambling changed me for the worse, not just in terms of finances but changing me as a person and developing traits like lying to loved ones and constantly trying to cover my tracks, it really leaves an empty feeling inside.
I went to therapy for a few sessions and it did seem to help for around a year until recently I stupidly let my addiction get the better of me and relapsed. For that particular year I managed to get some decent money saved up, and used my spare time to get back into football and running rather than sitting in front of a FOBT at the bookies or sitting in front of a blackjack dealer at the casino just waiting for that surge of adrenaline when a big hand comes in - because as you say they will always get it back!
Just because your in your 40s it doesn’t mean you can’t still do the things you in enjoy in life - that year I managed to stay gamble free was honestly the best year of my life. Going into work with a clear head and socialising with mates without that nervous tension looming over me every time I glanced at a fruit machine or bookie advert during a football match. Stay strong mate. I’m only on day 5 again but I’m determined to surpass another year and keep it going.
Best of luck on your journey
Jacob
Thanks guys. Hopefully things will get better for all of us in time.
Stuart
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