so today I have finally hit rock bottom with my gambling! I have sent nearly 10 years gambling’s with no one suspecting or knowing of my family and friends but now I just don’t know if I can hide the shame and the guilt anymore! I am in thousands of pounds of debt nearly £30,000, this week I received £5000 inheritance, and blew it in 48 hours on online roulette. I am so ashamed and embarrassed that I am spending this type of money and have no way of stopping myself!
I want to be able to see a way out and I want to see that there is more to life than gambling. It has taken over my day to day life, my stress and anxiety levels are through the roof, I wake up and think about gambling, I go to sleep thinking about gambling and I feel like I am the only person in the world feeling like this. I know I cannot carry on dealing up the debts and living this life. I need help to stop! I need advice on how to stop! I cannot tell my partner or my family I know it will cause even more upset! I really just need help!
It sounds like you are going through a challenging time and I want to say Well done for coming on the Forum and sharing your story. You speak about feeling guilt and shame, I can imagine this must feel isolating and lonely to have to keep all of this to yourself. You coming on the Forum is you taking the first steps to see a way out of your gambling problem. You do not have to go through this alone, there are many people on here who will be able to relate with what you are going through and there are many people who will be able to offer you support and encouragement on here.
For many, it is not unusual to feel trapped by your gambling debts and feel there is no way out. There is a way out of this, there are free debt advice charities such as Stepchange who will be able to give you confidential, impartial, and practical solutions on how to tackle this.
We understand it can be daunting , the thought of having to tell your partner and family about your gambling problem, however to get the best of out of recovery, it is important to be open and honest with the people around you, especially if it affects them. You do not need to carry this burden alone.
If you haven’t already, I will encourage you register with Gamstop (This is a free online National self-exclusion) which will ban you from all UK licensed sites and apps.
You can also contact your bank to freeze gambling transactions.
I feel you will benefit from talking to someone about your situation. Why not call our advisors on 0808 8020 133 and our 1:1 Livechat, we are open 24/7. They can talk things through with you, even get you referred for 1:1 support. We can also give you free Gamban license (This is a blocking software, that blocks all gambling content on up 15 devices) We are here for you.
Please do take care
Keep sharing and posting
Hi and welcome,
Your story is all to familiar although I played slots. Well done for coming and telling your story.
What you need to do is block all access to being able to gamble.
I'm 2 weeks gamble free and I have self excluded with games top for 5 years now and I've also self excluded from the sites. Another thing is I contacted my bank and blocked gambling transactions
I may only be in 2 weeks gamble free but I feel so so much better, I know longer feel the urge because I know I simply cannot gamble with the blocks in place. I used to go to sleep and I would literally dream playing slots and the bonuses every night and I can say just being gamble free for 2 weeks because I'm not in that environment now not once have a dreamed I'm playing slots.
You can this, one day at a time. Get all the help you can.
Thankyou so much for replying. Last night I couldn’t sleep I havnt been able to eat in 2/3 days. I am finding it so hard to try and justify my actions and I just can’t anymore! The worry and the stress it’s causing me is unbareable. Today is day 1 of not gambling! I know I CANNOT gamble and I know I need to stop sacrificing normal day to day things just to have money to gamble! I need a better life for my family! For a lot of people being able to talk is helping them and I know just being involved with this website/forum is helping me tremendously but I cannot not matter what tell my partner my friends or my family!
Hope you are ok and coping. It's a bit concerning when you say you are so badly affected that your sleeping and eating has been disrupted. Maybe it could be the strain of keeping a lid on your gambling history that's adding to the anxiety. I choose to tell no one as I am a carer to my parent with Alzheimer's and if my siblings knew I know it would "slip out" and cause emotional upset. That does make the gambling a bigger burden but it's for the "greater good".
If the anxiety is becoming debilitating there is always your Dr and of course the Samaritans if you get overwhelmed. But of course it takes a gambler to know a gambler and that's why it's on this site where we can truly feel understood and supported.
Keep posting if it helps you.
All the best and kind thoughts to you.
Hi bc24,I know where your coming from,blown my saving blown my wages every week and told no one just kept going and have been stuck in this rut now for what seems forever my house needs a lot of money spent on it as it’s run down and I’m ashamed to have people come round I make excuses up to fob them off,but hopefully in a few hours time that’ll change. Im meeting someone who I’ve got really close to over this last year and Im gonna come clean(if I don’t bottle out) I’m feeling so nervous and ashamed and scared it will mess things up but she’s shocked me into thinking there’s more to life than gambling.
I really hope you find this to and beat this problem,stay strong and don’t give up
Your not alone! Very similar position to me actually. After spending 10 plus years gambling and racking up debt after debt I found myself in stuck with no option. Come clean and get help, its the only way. It will be the hardest thing but ultimately the best decision you will make. I'm just over 3 months clean and feeling so much better compared to 4 month ago where I didn't know what I was going to do with myself! You can do it, speak to the team and put things in place and get the support you need. I hope your OK and this message helps, keep us posted on how your doing!
Bc24 hope all is going well,today went so well once I started talking I couldn’t stop,told her everything even show her transactions on my betting accounts which is never dreamed I do,feel alot better and after making arrangements to meet up again didn’t have the urge to stop in the bookies on the way home and blow £150 in 15 minutes,I know it’s early days for the both of us and they’ll be bumps in the road but we can do this,all the best
Keep at it your doing so good, them days will start adding up. Im officially past the 2 week mark. Feeling amazing. I'm having my bathroom done with what I would of easily lost in the past 2 weeks.
I've purchased new things for the kids. I'm not trying to gloat but it just feels so good to not stress spending because I've spent my wages and direct debit returning... All my bills are paid for the month and i can relax. You will start to feel the same over the next week or so when you can see your days clocking up and seeing your bank looking better and none if them long transaction lists to the same sites.
I'm finding coming on here everyday and reading new posts really helpful 🙂
Secret addict that is amazing am so happy for you. And I want that feeling you have! I know it’s early days but I feel different this time! I feel like I am going to beat this. Some days I spend £20, some days could be hundreds. And to know I still have got money in my bank and it can be spent on other things I feel that’s a big achievement For me in itself! Hope today is a food day for you
@bc24 How much of a rock bottom did you hit? When I hit my first one, and believe me there are a lot more waiting for you potentially, I would have done anything to get the help I needed.
For me it has always been return to GA, but telling those around me as well because they can support me.
It's the same with you, except you're worried about telling others, which is quite normal, but it will help you more in the long term. At the moment you are still living a life that involves lying, and true recovery starts with honesty.
I know it's a scary thing to admit to someone and we always think the worse, but be brave and take a leap of faith. Try GA too.
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