So I was playing a game on my phone and an advert came up half way through! It was the slot game that I played most when I was gambling! It was for an online casino I’d never heard of before!
I clicked on it but I felt nothing! I felt no urge to go and sign up! No urge to put £10 and see what happens! NOTHING! I closed the page and went out! Knowing that I still haven’t gambled (80 days now), I still have money in the bank and I have a clear conscience!
I think that was a huge step for me but I know I shouldn’t get complacent and I will keep reminding myself every day, that things can change in the blink of an eye! I still have to fight this addiction, every single day! But I can trust myself & my judgement a bit more!
hope everyone is ok! Jadie x
That was an unexpected test completely out of the blue so all the more reason to congratulate yourself. Of course, none of us can get complacent as from experience most of us understand that it only takes a second of loss of control to ruin months and in some cases years of work.
Well done Jadie. You avoided putting yourself at risk and that's a big step forward.
I've said this before when others have tested themselves but why would you test yourself? That is complacency right there. Despite not feeling any urge or not feeling anything, what would happen if you did feel something?
Complacency is thinking that you're okay now. This is a lifetime's illness and you need to remember that. If you imagine that the addiction is waiting for you to slip you have to be on top of this every single day.
I can't be one of the people on here who say great you weren't tempted or brilliant stuff if I can see the dangers involved. I have to tell it as I have lived it and all the dangers that come with this illness.
Just be careful.
Sorry I’ve not explained myself @chrisuk, I was playing a puzzle game (boring I know) half way through it an advert popped up and to continue playing the puzzle I had to wait for it to finish! Once it was over, the mascot from the game I played a lot of when gambling was on my screen & when I went to press the x to close it, it forwarded me onto the App Store for the casino it was for! I didn’t look any further at it, didn’t download it or whatever... I closed the tabs on my phone and went to my mums for the day with my daughter!
i know that it could’ve been a trigger to spiral out of control or begin gambling again! I know the harms that are done by the addiction, i have been suicidal and I’ve self harmed because I was desperate for help! I am not going to ever let myself get overly cocky or ever think that ‘I’ll be alright if I try now, it’s been x amount of months/years and I’m better’ because I am 100% sure that I’d continue to gamble until I had nothing left!
i am totally aware of myself and my addiction and I’m also extremely proud that it came up & I dealt with it! I’m proud of the fact that I’m now in the state of mind that I can close down whatever ad is in my face without the temptation of ‘giving it a try’. I hope that makes more sense, my post wasn’t about being complacent about the addiction or anything! I was just quite pleased with myself for not entertaining it!
I know at the same time if it had been a down day I know full well I could’ve easily clicked on it, signed up etc etc etc. I won’t ever forget that fact!
thanks for your reply’s