I buckled again, I need advice. Please share your experiences

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grundarfjordur
(@grundarfjordur)
Posts: 4
Topic starter
 

First off English is my second language so I hope there not too many mistakes. 

I have a typical story, gambling low (sports bet) for fun, then upping the stakes, then chasing, then gambling into overdraft, payday loans and stuff. On 7th May, I decided it was time to stop, and I did. Did not gamble for 2 months, didn't need to, didn't want to. However 17 July, right before a big darts tournament (my favourite sport bet on) I buckled, started low as I do, got higher, lost £200+. I am 19 yr old by the way. I feel I slightly matured, as I came when all is not lost, I got some money to survive to payday. But I really annoyed with myself, this month was a chance to save money, and then when I paid next month I am comfortable living. It makes me a sad, pathetic, and lonely person. I don't feel suicidal or want to harm myself, I just feel really sad when I lose, and of course, absolutely adrenaline rush buzing when winning. 

This sound stupid, but I am sort of scared what happens when my debts are paid, because I will have more money. I have had a routine for 8 month now. Soon as I am paid, go onto site I owe money, and pay this months fee. I have been owing £400 a month, I pay £250 rent and I paid like £850, so you can imagine a big struggle, and why a couple of months gamble free was needed, but that is dumb, I want rest of life no gambling! This month, is final month of struggle. All my loan are gone, and then I can focus gradually paying my overdraft, fortunately there is no pressure for that.

I am lucky for 2 things, I recognised I needed to stop again so soon after starting. And unlike last time, I left myself a little bit of cash to get through until payday. I feel I just need a little reassurance, and some tips. This is great community, I want to be a regular here, is there any guides on this forum or stuff? I am fairly new to these sort of sites.

Anybody also have stories of them buckling, but getting through the mental pain and going gamble free again? I really need motivation, I need the motivation to not deposit again tomorrow. Gambling is so painful, it's the death of so many people. Whether that be literal, or the death of their relationships, morale, etc. I want to beat this, please share your experience with me. Thank you <3

 
Posted : 21st July 2019 10:36 pm
NoInterest9
(@nointerest9)
Posts: 11
 

Hi mate. Well for a second language your English is very fluently written:) 

I’m 28 and older than you but in no way to patronise you I can completely relate to being 19 and pretty much exact same situation as you. The fear and realisation that you have no control over your gambling leaves so many uncertainties with your life, planning and where you’ll be in X amount of years. 

Well 9 years on for me, gambling has lost me a long term relationship, moved back into parents and a strain in family relations after gambling thousands of pounds lent to me by my parents. 

I’ve very recently signed up to gamstop which I’m not sure if you’re aware of? It blocks you on ALL uk registered bookies online. And a tool I would have found very useful years ago. (It’s fairly new) 

I’ve been to doctors, meetings, and even tried many sessions of hypnotherapy just hoping something will help me stop gambling  to this day nothing has solidly worked and you soon learn the only thing that can stop you gambling, is you  but help from these forums and speaking with people alike is also a good tool to help   

 

 
Posted : 22nd July 2019 9:09 am
(@hullbo)
Posts: 72
 

Echo the thoughts on gamstop....of advice you to do one thing and that's register for 5 years...it will help you immensely....you can beat it, it seems daunting at first but believe in yourself...you can do it...your young enough to have an amazing life.....choose life.

 
Posted : 25th July 2019 8:57 pm

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