How to stop

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Paul1951
(@paul1951)
Posts: 12
Topic starter
 

This addiction really is killing me ive been gambling for over 10 years losing every penny I have borrowing money just to pay back money I owe or to gamble more.I’ve been for therapy but really never stopped my problem is I can’t replace that excitement that escapism that betting gives me but I can’t keep living like this just today lost another £700 feel like s**t now depressed and lost just wish I’d never started wish I could get it out of my head before my life is completely destroyed 

 
Posted : 4th January 2021 8:49 pm
Johnny57
(@johnny57)
Posts: 73
 

Mate you justhave tostop completely dont look at it no participation in it banish it completely.Only then the healing process will happen.Best wishes

 
Posted : 4th January 2021 9:02 pm
Paul1951
(@paul1951)
Posts: 12
Topic starter
 

Thank you bud I know I do just life seems so empty without gambling but o can’t use excuses anymore I need to stop and hopefully I can 

 
Posted : 4th January 2021 9:04 pm
Chris100
(@chris100)
Posts: 31
 

I know what you mean I’ve gambled wages borrowed so much money paid so many debts 

only different now money owe family not company’s im trying learn to stop 

 
Posted : 4th January 2021 9:48 pm
(@miafortuna)
Posts: 33
 

Hi there,

I know how you feel,that’s why my addiction was consuming me for over 11years-as I couldn’t stop,I didn’t want to stop as that was my hobby,favourite moment of the day when my daily limits allowed me to play again,pure madness.

Today after blocking myself everywhere possibile I’m about 80days GF and I’m still alice,I’m more mentally stable,I see some tiny money left on my account.

You can do it as well.It’s not an easy ride,the urges are there,but they will not be as strong.
Please give yourself a chance for a better/quality life.I’m sure there are hundreds of different things u can do instead of playing.

I will repeat myself I was in really dark place,where nothing counted my family,my health,my ruined score,the fact I was humiliated of borrowing money on monthly basis to cover up my overdraft etc

You can beat this addiction and have a normal life!!!!

Read the forum,speak with counsellor,block yourself from playing.

All the best?

 
Posted : 4th January 2021 10:11 pm
Paul1951
(@paul1951)
Posts: 12
Topic starter
 

Thank you for the comments need to really dig deep and try to get over this even going a week atm seems hard but I know it will get easier the longer I can go 

 
Posted : 4th January 2021 10:35 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 5975
Admin
 

Hi Paul, 

There is some great advice in your thread but I was also wondering whether you have spoken to an Adviser for some added support too? 

I understand that the therapy may not have worked for you previously, but perhaps now would be a good time to revisit that? If not there are so many added tools and support available that weren't there years ago and it may help to look into these options with you.

If this is something you would find beneficial you can talk to an adviser free on 0808 8020 133 or talk via our Netline 

In regards to your depression, I also recommend you make an appointment even if over the phone with your GP as there can be links with depression and gambling, with gambling seen as a temporarily escape from how you are feeling. The important thing is to look at your whole situation so we can ensure you get the support you deserve. It can't have been easy to have been in this situation for the past 10 years, but help is at hand to support you to move forward.

Kind regards

ChrisK

Forum Admin

 
Posted : 4th January 2021 10:57 pm
(@soysauce147)
Posts: 145
 

 

Evening Paul,

I am no expert, however, I do have a few suggestions:

1. Buy a copy of Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters for £6.99 from any good book store (Amazon, Ebay). The urge to gamble is your monkey self, not you. 

2. Sign up with all casinos and gambling sites and self exclude yourself for maximum amount of time.

3. Sign up with Gamstop and download Gamban on your mobile phone.

4. If possible, sign up with Fintech bank such as Monzo bank that bars all gambling transactions and create a pot that pays yourself £1 daily for not gambling. This is used as a visual motivation tool as well as keeps a track record of your gamble free days.

5. Albert Einstein once quoted: if you do something over and over,  you'll get the same result. 

6. Finding a replacement for your gambling such as short walks, visit libraries, bike riding, reading etc. Anything that is counter productive and stuff that interests you.

7. Gambling (Greed) is not on the life menu- even the Bible states "You shall not covet your neighbours goods," Eventhough you may not be religious,  however, it is an invaluable advice.

8. If you get the gambling urges- go and watch Utube clips on recovery gamblers such as Only Phil and the winning hand. Find out as much information as you can to beat this greedy monkey.

9. Forgiveness- learn to live with it. As time passes it will become easier and easier regardless of how much money lost in the process.

10. Try to separate yourself and your behaviour- as they're two entities. 

11. Remember, time is on your side- healing process can start.

12. If all fails, go to GA meeting and start 12 steps. Go and seek professional help.

I hope this helps. 

All the best.

Xoi

Ps A thousand miles begin with one step

 
Posted : 4th January 2021 11:59 pm
(@sejan7)
Posts: 16
 
Posted by: Paul1951

This addiction really is killing me ive been gambling for over 10 years losing every penny I have borrowing money just to pay back money I owe or to gamble more.I’ve been for therapy but really never stopped my problem is I can’t replace that excitement that escapism that betting gives me but I can’t keep living like this just today lost another £700 feel like s**t now depressed and lost just wish I’d never started wish I could get it out of my head before my life is completely destroyed 

I feel you I lost £7000 in just last three months, every time I feel I will win all back so I never worry, but then my businesses are going to s**t, I blame covid, lockdowns, and s**t, but it was always my decision to gamble.

 
Posted : 5th January 2021 4:00 am
 Loux
(@loux)
Posts: 848
 

Hi Paul,

Sorry to hear how gambling is affecting you, have you considered or been able to get any blocks or self exclusion put in place ? I found that a vital part of recovery for me was signing up to gamstop. Your depression will be a lot worse gambling.

Loux

 
Posted : 5th January 2021 10:46 am
Paul1951
(@paul1951)
Posts: 12
Topic starter
 

It’s that wee voice that says don’t worry you can win it all back and the adrenaline you get from thinking that even thou deep down you know you’ll always lose what you win.I’ve blocked myself from all online sites and have a friend who will look after my money now .but still know it comes down to me not letting myself look at any bets 

 
Posted : 5th January 2021 11:40 am
(@soysauce147)
Posts: 145
 

The Monkey self

The urge to gamble is strong - don't understand estimates The Chimp. This Chimp is a lot stronger than yourself by 4 folds (is like one person fighting 4 people). So need to put in place, strategy and factors. If you take time, money and opportunity away from you- unable to gamble. Easy said, but hard to follow.

I hope this helps.

Xoi

 
Posted : 5th January 2021 8:59 pm

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