Lots of times, but only lasts till

payday, this is the first time I’ve used Gamstop though and registered on Gamcare. They really do help. So far anyways. 

Ive stopped and started gambling so many times it beggars belief. I had quite a bit of success a few years ago.. stopping for 3 years and also an 18 month stretch. However the last 3 years ive been struggling. But moving forward and with practical barriers I am hopeful and determined to stay stopped.

More times than I can remember, having a problem with the slots for over 25 years.

Got myself into a load of debt by the age 0f 24 probably around 20K+, managed to clear it all and buy my house outright by 35 but still managing to loose money on the slots, initially who I first started playing it was 10p/15p a spin for £15 quid jackpot so £100 would last an all day session, now £100 can be gone in a couple of minutes.

Never been a big fan of the video slots that are prevalent in arcades/casino's etc only certain ones I'll play, much prefer the old style mechanical reels where  you could hear the pound coins dropping through and know it was due a pay out.

All this means nothing now, my main aim is abstinence from the slots for the rest of my life.

Twice ... Well maybe 3....

Approx 12/13 years ago, my mum gifted us £1k.. At that time, we used to go to casinos occasionally with friends, usually just have a few drinks and sometimes didn’t even play any games.

Other times we’d play roulette/blackjack but I was never ‘out of control’.. If I lost 20-30 I’d just walk away. If I won, I’d also walk away!!! 

One night, we’d had a few drinks at home and played online roulette.. Can’t remember if we were winning or not but my husband was tired and went to bed. Long story short, that night I gambled 600 of the money from my mum. By some miracle, I did win it all back ..... but then lost it all again.. 

I told my husband the next day, he went mad and said I could never do it again and I didn’t.....until last year. Then I messed up big time over a 16 month period ..

No next time for me though. 

Great thread, needed to read something like this on the back of tonight. Recognise some usernames such as S.A. and Sparks - MissP sounds familiar too somehow. Either way, like you guys (and others) here I am again, back on the site, pouring out my heart seeking help saying, "Yes, I've done it again." I hate this addiction I really do, but I am an addict, no question. I went just short of 8 years without a bet. Weekly GA meetings from 2011 (the last time I posted here), counselling support from GamCare and I guess a determined effort on my part to end it all once and for all. What I find so sad about this addiction is how one can make up for those 8 years in just a few months of going back, and that's all its been for me. I have created years worth of debt to pay back in that short period of time. I won't go into the details; they are unnecessary and unhopeful to be honest. But here I am again and I have honestly lost count of what attempt number this is, but let's start at one hundred and that's being generous. Don't know what else I can say. Gutted, and just don't understand what I look for in gambling. Is it loneliness, passing time - buying time - killing time? Is it self-harm/self-destruction? Is it my partner, my kids, my job, my family? Oh who knows! All of these things and probably so much more. Analysis is paralysis... yup, agreed. All I know is I've done it again; those famous last words. Let's see what the next person has to say... Simon, Bristol.

 I have stopped at least 3 times. I can't help myself anymore. I seem not to be able to resist the habit even when I'm losing.

Dear Simon40,

We are glad that you have come for more support from our forum.  Well done for all your effort in the 8 years you were gamble free. Hopefully you will find some comfort from others as you start to move forwards again. You are most welcome to receive our help on the helpline 0808 8020 133 or via our Netline. 

Best Wishes

Forum Admin

Dear Kadry1,

Keep sharing how things are going, if you haven't already been in touch with us on our Helpline 0808 8020 133 and Netline then we can listen to you, and perhaps together, work out a way forward, there might be some missing pieces in recovery....?

Best wishes Forum Admin

Once - permanently. Before anyone says or implies I'm "holier than thou" - I'm not but what I did do and still do is make a commitment on a daily basis not to gamble under any circumstances. If someone asked me to get them a lottery ticket in the shop I'd say no. I take this very seriously. I got into a ton of debt, was living in a very stressful and deceitful way and my marriage was close to collapsing. My life isn't like that now. I don't owe any money as I set up a DMP, live as honestly as I can and have a great relationship with my wife, family and the few friends I have. There's hope out there believe me. 🙂 

Hi Phil, fantastic achievement! 

If only I could have stopped at once, my life would be so very different... 

Posted by: MissP

Hi Phil, fantastic achievement! 

If only I could have stopped at once, my life would be so very different... 

Thank you. To be honest during the relatively short period my gambling was out of control (around two years) my life went down hill massively plus I was dragging other people down with me. I've not gambled on anything (not even a scratch card) since February 2016 - never say never though. It rarely comes into my mind now. At one time I was self-excluded from every "shop" within a couple of miles. I do occasionally feel uncomfortable walking past a bookies but that's more to do with painful memories than temptation. I owed a LOT of money which took a couple of years to pay back; I borrowed it to gamble so it was my responsibility to pay it back. A DMP was a massive help as was being totally honest with my wife.

at least 100+over the last 10 years with varying degrees of success

my problem is I tend to get to grips with one element of the addiction and then another one will take its place

2010 - 2012 massive problem with FOBTS finally realised they were rigged and it was impossible to win gave them up no problem

2012 - 2018 - Football Betting told myself this wasn't a problem though because I was an "expert" and used sensible staking plans despite spending nearly every waking minute obsessing over fixtures and results

2018 - 2019 - Online Blackjack Streamed Live From Latvia this is the latest obsession of mine and its getting very very expensive

 im starting to accept there's something not quite right with the way the cards fall and they fact you can stake up to £5000 every 10 seconds is extremely disturbing

hopefully If I can get to grips with the online and stamp that out I wont have any more avenues to explore

fingers crossed

Too many to count over the past ten or more years.

This time seems different and I'm not sure why - but I feel like a non gambler.

I started by searching You Tube and watched

Gaming Machines: Facts and Myths

and 

Slot Machine : What Every Player Need to Know (long version)

I watched these over and over again. I never realised that when on machines it says the payout percentage it means that is the percentage for the lifetime of the machine - not a day or a week. And anyway if it's 95% then that means for every pound I wager I'll potentially get 95p back - eventually that pound will become zero - and it does!!!

I spoke to a Gam Care adviser who referred me for counselling.

I went to my Dr and got anti depressants, and asked specifically for one that was good for OCD.

I ordered the Allan Carr Easy Way to Stop Gambling book and read that.

I had my first therapy session with NECA last Friday and this time instead of focusing what I thought was my toxic relationship we focused on activities to do instead of gambling. Straight after the session, I rejoined the library!

And ever since Friday something has changed in my brain/thinking. I have not craved gambling once.

Without the fog of addiction I realise that I love my partner and he loves me - mind he's not perfect and but then neither am I, lol.

I work hard so I'm damned if I'm going to give my money to companies who feed off addiction.

It really doesn't seem like I'm giving something up - it feels more like 'goodbye to bad rubbish' 😉

I've even bragged to my partner and family that I'm a non gambler.

I know different things work for different people - so I suppose my advice would be to never give up giving up x