Hi all. So this is now currently my second time of trying to stop my addiction and it’s currently doing better than the first time. But I have one question to you all...... I’ve heard people say how much better there life is financially after stopping. But there is always a voice saying it won’t be any different. Is this just a voice or is it me being scared about what the future holds?
thanks all stay safe
Welcome back to the Forum and to your Recovery Journey. You have asked a question 'I’ve heard people say how much better there life is financially after stopping. But there is always a voice saying it won’t be any different. Is this just a voice or is it me being scared about what the future holds?' How can anything be any worse than what you are going through right now? A huge part of recovery is challenging your 'thinking' and becoming aware of those thoughts.
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Take it easy
life doesn't just magically change after stopping gambling there is a hell of a lot of work to do and that's coming from someone that's done it
when people eventually decide to stop gambling and climb out of the rabbit hole they look at the real world and realise they are behind , way behind
most realise its quite scary and go back down the hole and stay down there as its easier than facing reality
gambling addiction shoves you in a time warp nothing changes , chances are if you started gambling at 20 by the time you got to 30 little to nothing would have changed in 10 years
and unfortunately the older you get the harder it becomes to change
i gambled right the way through my late teens and early 20's by the time i got to 24 i was in 12 grands worth of debt and a lot of trouble
i went insolvent at 24 , cut the gambling and began the slog of sorting my life out .....i only completed that task last year 5 years of graft and a LOT of hustling to sort the mess out
im 29 now and i estimate if i had left it get any further out of control id be in 20-30 thousand worth of debt by this stage
Recovery is about getting your self respect and dignity back. Its about being in control of your own mind and facing the truth of reality.
These are not small things. They are giant leaps towards getting your life back.
A gambling addiction is a drug addiction and it altered your mind to look at life with an illness.
Its about a learning process to actually realise that they sold you a lie. It was never set up as an income scheme to improve your finances. Its a random event based on odds way against you. Theres no clever plan which is why its called gambling.
If you have been in a cycle of trying to top your wages up then you have been living a lie. Only the gambling mind gets hooked on the drug of activity and you cant think straight.
I dont know your story but youve seen what gambling does so how can the future be more scary than being an active gambler?
Your addicted mind wont like change which is why you seem fearful
I like to face life with a clear head. I dont live life under the influence of heavy drugs and you need to understand that gambling is one of them.
Yes you will be better off with every pound you save. What price do you put on your self respect and freedom? If your head is full of the riches you see on the TV...gambling is not the way to get it....understand?
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Thanks for sharing your story.
The voice you hear is your monkey, in another word, your devil. You slowly learn to live with it like everyone else. We all have the inner demons as gamblers.
Generally, what normally happens when you stop gambling is that your bank balance slowly grows upwards rather than south. You feel better about your emotionally, financially and spiritually. You will sleep better at might with no stress of when and how to pay the bills. Life will have a genuine purpose at a slower pace.
I hope this helps.
Ps stay sane, calm, and take one day at a time
Speaking from my rehabilitation so far... from many years of gambling..
It would be strange if you didn't have , 'voice saying it won’t be any different'
Gambling messes with your brain/mind big time,
Making you think things are out of your hands/control - you start to believe more strongly in
Fate/Luck/Sixth sense, really quite illogical. (thinking you have an angle/skill the right time of day, wearing your lucky socks etc, and thinking you only lost due to some other factor)
Though a repeated long cycle of constant short term positivity when beginning a gambling session,
Then the negative wrath/out of control, you feel for days after when we all ultimately lose all our money and life goals not able to be reached because of, everything hits home...
Your mind will need a fair amount of time to adjust out of the emotional cycle, feeling positive and than everything turns to poo negative, that has been the cycle for a long period and now you've broken it your in control/at the helm....
The more your out of this negative gambling cycle the more powerful/really positive you will feel, i promise.
Take it steady hope the above makes sense. all the best
I certainly echo the sentiments made by others here, it doesn’t just happen straight away but does come with time.
It is a one day at a time thing for sure, and there’s a lot of rebuilding that is required with love ones but I found that when they can see that you want to change and you are working hard to, they come round and the trust can be re built again and in turn your financial and mental well-being will become so much better.
A bit of a background from me, I’m 29 now and very close to 30. I gambled from the age of 17 and for most of my 20s. It started small, like for most and had got progressively worse with family finding out originally at the age of 23, then trying to fight it, then relapsing... this probably happened two times, then the third time, having wasted a large amount of an inheritance I decided that I needed to come clean and seek help so I told my partner (who was 4 months pregnant at the time) and family.
My partner had no idea of my problem and was shocked and hurt and it was touch and go as to whether we would stay together, a lot of hurtful things were said to me then, for which she has apologised for, however she stood by me and has been my rock.
I fast forward 460 days later and I’m still going strong. I have a wonderful family, lovely children and I get to focus my attentions on the things that matter most in life, which is family and doing things that make me happy, not chasing losses that ultimately will get worse.
I have re built trust with people that I caused pain to, and not to forget to mention, sleep so much better now I don’t worry about not having money.
In essence my life has changed for the better and you end up wondering why you wasted so much of your valuable time doing something so destructive and didn’t seek help before
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