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How do you keep sane & stay motivated knowing 90% of your wage is going towards bills/repayments?  

 
keepgoing
(@keepgoing)

I’m having a huge problem with motivation and not knowing how to control myself to not gamble. My loan repayments are nearing their end (unfortunately they’re all payday loans so they’re at dumb rates and I’m paying stupid amounts), I owe a ridiculous amount to my phone provider due to using that to facilitate my addiction, I have 2 credit cards (one of which I have been sensible with, the other I maxed out with gambling transactions) & I’m only just keeping up with rent payments.

I am 20, a student & live in student accommodation. I’m currently in Uni for around 20 hours a week and I am working 30+ hours a week at work. I’m literally exhausted and there is no motivation whatsoever because I know all the money is going to many different companies due to my stupid addiction. It’s not like I have a huge “not gambled for” streak going to keep me motivated, I last gambled 2 days ago. 

I am paid on 14/02, I’ll have approximately 8% of my wage left over, and that’s if I only pay the minimum amount owed to a credit card which means I’ll just be paying even more over time. My credit score is currently “very poor” (602/999 on Experian) so I can’t get any help with a an actual proper loan rather than a payday one. I think it’s time to stop and try and move on with my life without gambling. My gambling style is sportsbetting and if I’m on a winstreak, I’ll play some 20p slot spins because I find them fun.

How do you stay motivated to not only continue with work during repaying debt, but not gambling as a whole?

How do you stay sane trying not to gamble? I find it extremely difficult and want to drop a deposit from a credit card.

Thank you

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Posted : 10th February 2020 12:54 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

Hi And Welcome to the forum.

The ultimate answer is that you dont keep your sanity in that situation and it will make you think that gambling is the only chance you have. The reality is that gambling is the source of despair not hope.

You are missing big pieces of the jigsaw and you need to start thinking clearly. You need financial advice from the CAB now and your debts will have to be rescheduled or written off.

You are allowed a living allowance under law before any repayments have to be made...this may mean that your creditors are only allowed a pound per month.

Your mental health is priceless and so the creditors are not even important in that sense.

The gambling MUST stop however and you need help! There is no shame in reaching out for that help.

Gambling addiction is a drug addiction and an illness. You are under its powers to control the mind. IT IS NOT AN INCOME scheme and you are going to have to write that on a poster on the inside of your front door.

You need to tell people and you actually need to be on a sandwich allowance! Confused... scared?? Youve seen what gambling does to you but you cant control it.. In essence we were self harming and we used gambling to do that..Thats what you should be scared of and you need to tell your family and loved ones.

Gambling was never the answer to what you seek. The answers are inside you...life does get gritty and mundane but gambling is just a drug fix which destroys you through you finances and health

Gambling kills people that cant take any more just like heroin, crystal meth and hard drinking.

This is no game about a silly flutter......you need help today and you need to start talking to family and professional advisors.

You will be experiencing depression and were posssibly always prone to it. There is an answer through the pleasures in life for there are some when the fog lifts and you are less jaded.

What you are missing is they have trapped you and bankruptcy is an option. There is life after bankruptcy and many people go through that I would argue that gambling debts are non enforcable because you need help and it should be an illegal activity in my considered opinion

You certainly need food on the table and a warm roof...everyone else waits!!. dont worry yourself ill....no point in that......do you understand?

Help is there for you...there is a much better life gamble free

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

This post was modified 2 weeks ago 2 times by Joydivider
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Posted : 10th February 2020 6:04 pm
c43h
 c43h
(@c43h)

 

If you run to the problem to solve the problem what happens? Not much. There is no redemption in gambling just a will to escape into something that is totally unforgiving and that will add on to the time you already have to pay of those people you owe.  Our brains work short term on this and we are easily distracted and also conditioned by media etc. You will need to think about how proud you will be when you have come to the end of this long and crappy road. I agree it is not nice. I am on the same road. It feels like it never ends. But the option in running back to the excitement (or at least what you may think is excitement) is short term and even more harmful so start to treat gambling for what it is. An enemy and not your friend or solution to anything good.

It works it takes some time.

 

This post was modified 2 weeks ago 2 times by c43h
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Posted : 10th February 2020 6:52 pm
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)

Hi

Going back to my addictions and obsessions just caused me more pains and suffering.

All the time I pay back my debts I know that one day my debts will be done and I will have more choices in my life.

Just for as I get healthier I see an end to the pains and misery I caused myself and other people.

There was one long term member who said that if he lived two lives he would not clear his debts.

He explained all the time he was in recovery and paying his debts off things were improving in his life.

I like many put myself and my family in to far to much debt.

Today I am clear of my debts.

I do not live off any credit cards.

Credit cards are paid on time.

The recovery program was going to help me become the healthiest person I can be today.

Money was never going to heal my pains,  money was never going to make me feel successful in myself.

Having money gave me more choices what to do with my life today.

As I get healthier my anger reduces, my fears reduces, my resentments reduces, my fear of emotional intimacy reduces, my procrastination reduces, my time wasting reduces, my reduces, my lies and deceptions reduced , my dysfunctional behavior reduces.  

I am worth more today, I value myself hence I am able to value other people today.

I love myself more today, I am able to love other people today.

The most valuable things in my life today is my relationships with people I love, and I use my time wisely today.

I am not able to change the past, I am able to change the out come of each day as I get healthier.

Love and peace to every one 

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11th February 2020 7:11 am
Merry go round
(@merry-go-round)

Call stepchange and get some advice. Living expenses first, debt last. Find someone to help you manage your money, sign up to gamstop, download blocking software. There are many ways to cope but gambling is not one of them.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11th February 2020 7:48 am
Lisa92
(@lisa92)

What companies are your pay day loans with? I was in the same boat if you have a look at my diary you’ll see 🙁 and I had to take on an extra job to pay everything so I sent an email to all the companies and almost every single one of them was written off and I’d got refunds from some of them, I can try and look in my emails and find what I’ve sent to each company if you want?

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Posted : 11th February 2020 8:02 am
Lisa92
(@lisa92)

I had a quick look before I go to work and I basically sent something along the lines of this, sometimes they came back saying that they didn’t see an issue and I just argued with them then 2 weeks later it was resolved and I got them closed and some I got a refund from, 

 

“I am making a complaint to you about irresponsible lending.

To help me explain the details, I want you to send me a list of my loans, showing for each loan when it was taken out, how much interest and charges you added and what I repaid. I understand you are not allowed to charge me for sending this information.

You should never have given me these unaffordable loans. I am asking you to refund the interest and any charges I paid, plus statutory interest. I was clearly taking out a new loan with other companies to repay you. I was having to borrow money from you to be able to pay my bills and be able to buy food. You will see I took many loans at a time and sometimes one straight after another and it was very clear i was struggling with repayments and there was an underlying issue- in this case a gambling addiction. I await your response.”  You will probably be able to word it a bit better yourself but along those lines seemed to work 

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Posted : 11th February 2020 8:14 am
Lisa92
(@lisa92)

Also the few that I didn’t get refunds from I told them I could only repay £5 a month  so I done that as they can’t say no, I paid everything off in July and big credit cards in December and my credit rating has sorted itself almost

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Posted : 11th February 2020 8:17 am
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hi keepgoing

Welcome to the GamCare forum.  Sounds like you're feeling very demotivated by the debts you're carrying. Some posters have suggested you contact debt advice agencies to get some advice on a reasonable repayment plan. We have information and links to reputable non profit advice agencies who won't charge for their services, here on our website:

www.gamcare.org.uk/self-help/finance-and-debt-management/

It also sounds as though you're still gambling. Whether you feel ready to think about stopping or cutting down or not, we're here for you and will listen to you without judging or pressuring you. Why not give us a call to talk it over? We're here on 0808 8020 133, or you can chat to an Adviser on our Netline. Both are available 24/7.

Keep posting,

Forum Admin 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11th February 2020 11:45 am
Givemethebuzz
(@givemethebuzz)

first off all you need to stop obsessing over the money its gone

your going to be skint for however long it takes you to pay it off there is no quick fix 

as gamblers we reap what we sow ......we indulge in a destructive system we have to pay the price 

find some interests and focus on them 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11th February 2020 9:19 pm
sardo122
(@sardo122)

I can relate. I'm a lot older than you but my credit rating went from good, almost excellent to god knows what. Don't even want to check it, although note that credit ratings don't mean an awful lot unless you want to get mortgage or other large credit. Basically I was only applicable for a £200 high interest credit card at the end of my credit spree to cover gambling debts and that was before I was defaulting. Previously (some years ago) I got a 8k credit card with interest free period and OK loans.

Have you rang up these companies? When I rang up one credit card company expecting the worst they froze interest and allowed me to pay back £ 100 a month for a while instead of the £ 200 ish interest I was paying (on 3k limit). Sort of an informal DMP. 

Also, I unexpectedly went over my overdraft limit and the bank froze interest too, agreeing to reduce the overdraft limit each month. I should've done that before as I was paying 150+ in bank charges. It will affect credit rating further probably, but at least you could pay off more of the capital.

As for your wages all going to debt repayment, again I can relate. I moved back in with my parents in 2018 and up until recently that's what I was doing. Hated my job too. I don't know how big your debt is, but maybe you could treat yourself to a small purchase or cheap night out once in a while if you can just to keep yourself sane, if you come to an agreement with your creditors. I was fired this week, so no income anymore. All the time I worked there, I didn't pay off much due to going on tilt after two massive wins that were in pending withdrawals and I ended up spending back. I imagine it will get easier over time. I don't have much answers with regards to the emotional aspect because I felt the exact same as you. Good luck.

This post was modified 2 weeks ago 2 times by sardo122
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Posted : 12th February 2020 12:29 am
sardo122
(@sardo122)

Oh and if you're a student, you need to concentrate on that and not let debt and gambling get in the way. Easier said than done. You've probably heard what sounds like a platitude but you're very young and can fix this and still be young at the end of it. Don't let gambling ruin things through out your 20s, 30s and beyond. Nip it in the bud now, again easier said than done.

This post was modified 2 weeks ago by sardo122
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Posted : 12th February 2020 12:41 am
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