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How do you beat the urge?  

 
Gus Fring
(@gus-fring)

Hello, feel a bit stupid here as I'm one of those people that doesn't believe in therapy and I'm not a big talker about problems etc. I always thought of myself as strong willed, I quit smoking after 10years, cold turkey on will power alone.  But gambling has turned me into a mug.

I lost a lot, no one close to me has any clue that I gamble. I managed to cover all my debts with a payout of a trust fund that should of made a great difference to my family's life but instead I lied about some debts etc etc and paid all my gambling stuff off with it instead. I feel bad about it, but really I don't because I'm still trying to gamble. After reading a lot of people's stories I'm very lucky in a way to be still solvent as a lot are not.

My problem is now, I paid everything, covered my tracks and decide it's a new dawn. I signed up to gamstop, I signed the wife up too as I'd used her name and i.d to get on betting sites aswell, without her knowing of course 

This shut me down from gambling for a month or 2, but I still have the urge. I managed to find some sports betting not on gamstop and lost some but had the presence of mind to self exclude as soon as I realised I can't control myself this time, like I thought I could the last 50 times!

But still I'm sitting here, not 2 hours ago, googling non gamstop bookies thinking if I can just sign up for one, I'll be sensible and just make Saturday football more interesting. I've put my details in to so many foreign betting sites (don't bother, it doesn't work) and changed details etc.

My last chance is looking at actual betting shops now, googling where the nearest one is. Never really, been in one so the scare of not knowing what I'm doing and looking an idiot has kept me away.

 

How do you stop? Beat this urge to gamble? Try as I might I'm strong a lot of the time but when I get it in my head to gamble there's no self reasoning with me! 

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Posted : 31st January 2020 2:14 pm
Howaythelads
(@howaythelads)

Hi Gus. Firstly, well done on putting Gamstop in place, I can imagine this has already saved you lots and lots of money already.

To help us help you, it would be good to know why you gamble? If you’re not sure, do you remember when you first gambled and when it started getting out of hand?  There is usually a clue there and something you can work on. 

The general advice is to put as many blocks in place whilst you try to get over your addiction. Gambling blocking software and certain bank cards that restrict gambling transactions - for the times when you google non Gamstop bookies. 

is there ANYONE you can talk to in person about your problem? Speaking to someone gives you some accountability and an outlet to talk to when you have urges. 

good luck. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 31st January 2020 10:25 pm
Gus Fring
(@gus-fring)

Thanks for your reply. I think the reason is split between thinking I can make quick easy money and the excitement that comes with that. Its almost like I'm jekyll and Hyde, I'll do everything thing I can to stop myself gambling and then a switch flicks on and I'll do everything I can to counter that and gamble. 

I feel bored when not gambling, watching sport just doesn't give me the buzz I want without a bet. I've tried different games on my phone, other distractions etc nothing beats that urge. The stupid thing is, I'm not even a good gambler, most of the sure things I bet on lose!!! What's worse is that I know all this as well as the fact gambling puts me in danger of losing everything I love and still I have the urge to gamble.

There's no one I can talk to, without blowing myself up at home or work with big ramifications.

I don't know how I kill this urge, maybe you can only do it  by losing everything and being rock bottom

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st February 2020 5:15 am
Sam1987
(@sam1987)

Hi, jekyll and Hyde hit home for me I'm the same. Different person gambling to the person that isn't. I'm only 7 days gf after 1500 loss in 5 days. Need to keep that feeling of regret and disgust with you and every time you want to gamble remember it. Also self exclude from bookies you can do it via scheme which excludes you from all local ones , gamstop already in place but switch bank to mazoma or Halifax as you can click to block any gambling transactions. Only carry a credit card and small amount of cash this elimates easy access to larger sums of money. If your like me also ban from arcades and bingo and casino to. I've put so many blocks in place I don't thing I could gambling around local area if I wanted to now. These are just some things that have worked for n me.

Good luck 

 

Sam

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st February 2020 5:39 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

Hi Gus Fring and Welcome.

You fade the urges over time by treating this as a drug addiction. With all the help you can get you need reality check after reality check.

It was never easy money. Thats what has set into your mind when money came your way...your brain likes the feeling and the escape until it became totally hooked and dependent on it.

Nobody ever offered you life changing odds on Man U vs the Grannies 11. You are facing teams of people who set the odds and they have been playing with you. They would be out of business if it was easy money for you. Its not an income scheme and you lost focus on the odds and the risk.

Tell someone close...explain a gambling session or try to because it will sound ludicrous in the cold light of day. Your head full of lucky clover will sound plain silly to a non gambler but its the dopamine fixes which drive you and give you the urges.

Your mind needs to heal so you will need to do the cold turkey with full abstention from gambling.

You dont need it in your life. Its not the answer you seek. The answers why you are vunerable are within you.

It takes a born again moment and to give your mind a chance of recovery you need to be deeply serious about this and leave no door open. The addiction will fight you...its telling you now to ignore me and just have a little flutter again once in a while.

This is no silly game about a flutter. Gambling addiction kills people to be necessarily blunt about it

You have no control.....the gaps are not a sign of control...its been destroying you..you will have to admit you are a compulsive gambler in recovery for the rest of your life. That's not bad because the urges will fade and you will be doing better things with your life and your money.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

This post was modified 3 weeks ago by Joydivider
ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st February 2020 5:45 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hi Gus, 

Welcome to Gam Care and thank you for your forum post.

As others have said, well done on what you have put in to place so far; registering with Gam Stop is a good place to start, however to give you an extra layer of protection I would also recommend downloading some blocking software on to any electronic device that you may use to gamble - so this could include your phone, tablet, laptop/PC. 

While acknowledging that you don't see yourself as a 'therapy kind of person' I do wonder if accessing some treatment support would be useful; gambling blocks are just barriers and someone determined enough is still likely to find a way to gamble, what treatment may help you with is addressing the urges that you have to gamble, looking at any underlying issues that may be contributing to you gambling, your triggers and so on. 

Treatment support is free and can be offered locally, face to face, or alternatively on the telephone or online. Alternatively Gam Care also offers a computer based CBT training (cCBT) which is a guided programme completed in your own time covering such topics as how gambling problems develop, what your gambling is 'costing' you and moving forward to make change.

If you would like to talk about any of these options please feel free to get in touch with a Gam Care adviser either on our netline or on our helpline on 0808 8020 133 both of which are available 7 days a week, 24 hours a day.

Wishing you all the very best,

Forum Admin

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st February 2020 9:57 pm
J Rahh
(@j-rahh)

Buddy, there is people to talk to. My best advice is : Gamstop: All UK based online Casinos you will be Barred from. Speak to your Bank, I've just had my card blocked from Impulsive Online Purchases, And lastly:

Tell the Family, They will " Av A Go" but at least it's open. But most Importantly you're Addressing the Situation.

Deep Breathe, Chin Up "N Nowt ruin my Day"

 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 2nd February 2020 12:05 am
J Rahh
(@j-rahh)

That's exactly how I've felt for the last 8 years. Rock Bottom gives me something to aim for.

Accomplish then Destroy. Over and Over Again. I am also not joking. Of all the addictions One can develop in life, Gambling is the worst.

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 2nd February 2020 12:30 am
J Rahh
(@j-rahh)

I've Lied to family when borrowing money. They think when lend to improve my life.

As truth unfolds A stranger profits, And back again repeat the strife.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 2nd February 2020 12:42 am
kramllewop
(@kramllewop)

Hi Gus,

I echo what has been said above, and again, well done for starting your gamble free journey, I struggled with urges initially, it’s very odd when you spend most of your time thinking about gambling to all of a sudden turn it off, it works against what has become normal for you.

however, these urges DO lessen, and I once thought that football was more interesting when I placed a bet on it, instead I actually go and watch the football live now! Something I could never do whilst gambling, and believe me, this is much more interesting than sitting at home frantically watching the results come in!

i have also read Alan Carr’s self help book, costs approximately £5 and is the best £5 I’ve ever spent, it’s not for everyone I accept that, but for me it really worked, it has helped to totally remove my DESIRE to gamble. I didn’t think it would be possible, but here I am, 35 days GF and really enjoying my life again, yes the repercussions of my addiction could last a while longer yet, but at least they are not getting worse.

 

i wish you all the best in your recovery

 

Kram

ReplyQuote
Posted : 2nd February 2020 10:58 am
raman3499
(@raman3499)

It is not easy to fight with the urge to gambling. And therapies can help you to get out of addiction. But believe you can get rid of this urge even without any therapy. All you have to do is get your self indulged in other activities and create passion in achieving something in your life.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 8th February 2020 11:12 am
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