I was reading a post on here about some young guy who was in a little bit of debt and was despairing. I know it's all relative but I thought I'd share some of my rock bottoms. By the way, this year I didn't gamble for 8 months until I eventually capitulated. I can say I have exhausted every avenue regarding help for gambling addiction. Yesterday I tried to register for Gamstop and would you believe it, my identity couldn't be confirmed so even that failed. So here's another of my rock bottoms, feel free to laugh, I myself have a dark sense of humour. I was renting a room with a Christian who took me in when I was in a homeless shelter one winter. I couldn't pay my rent because I'd gambled it all away. After a few years, I was in the same position. I was planning to top myself, but on the day, like usual, I couldn't go through with it. I packed my rucksack and decided to say "f**k it". I got on the bus and headed off anywhere but here. One day I walked for 11 hours, a storm set in, I was soaked to the bone. It was coming up to 11pm, I was shattered, I found what looked like a cave on the seafront. I collapsed on the ground and had a couple of hours sleep. In the morning, I discovered I had been sleeping in urine, the cave was a place where people would go and have a slash. I headed to a Mcdonalds for a coffee with my last £2. As soon as I sat down, another homeless guy asked he could have my sticker, he told me where a homeless day centre was and I used that place for 5 months while I slept rough. I've got to tell you, in a way, it was a wonderful experience. I met some interesting characters, many who like me shouldn't have been homeless.
Anyways, I'm still gambling. I saved a grand for the first time in my life and that's slowly disappearing. I'm completely on my own. I no longer speak to family and friends. I've just quit another job. Either I will change or I'll just be miserable for my remaining days.
Stu
You're not alone, you have my support on here. I care about you and your life, so do loads of other people on here. You're addiction is not your fault, you have a destructive illness which you need help for. I had the same problem with GamStop but it took a day to resolve and put in place. Don't give up, you will come through this. Keep engaging with people on here. I really hope everything improves for you. Life is hard anyway but throw in addiction and it can feel impossible to see any positives or light in your future. Keep going one moment at a time. All the best Stu x
Dear Canterbury100,
Sorry to hear that you're still gambling and of your experiences. Please consider contacting us on the HelpLine or the NetLine to speak to an adviser to see how we can further support you.
Best wishes
Forum Admin
Thanks.
Life's a disaster at the moment but the sweet is never as sweet without the sour. I take great comfort in knowing that eventually my life will end. If life was easy you wouldn't learn anything about yourself. What I know is I'm one of life's pathetic losers. I guess we can't all be winners?
Stuart
Hi Stuart,
You certainly are not one of life’s losers. We all on here suffer from this addiction.
I’m only on day 8 gamble free myself. I called the helpline and it really helped and now have counselling which I start next week.
I had to make it impossible (well very difficult) for myself to bet; Gamstop and Gamban. I’d recommend these.
Try to remain positive and look forward. You’d saved a grand and can do this again.
If you feel low please call the helpline. This really helped me.
Regards
Oliver
Thanks Oliver, Sorry for my self-pity. Can I ask, do you have to pay for gamban?
Thanks
Stuart
Iguess i find u in a rock bottom further down than most as u have nowhere to live at the moment, however with that comes the fact that your life will be easy to improve and one it does improve and u have a place to stay and food to eat every day you will be happier than most people who take it for granted.
Best of luck adam
Hi Adam,
Firstly, i'm not homeless at the moment thank goodness. Yes I try to feel grateful for everything I have but when you're feeling dreadful none of that matters. I have tried finding out about how people in real poverty live and it just makes me hate myself even more. When people are starving to death or live in war torn countries with no food, water or electricity, you start to detest yourself. On a good day I feel so blessed to simply sit in my comfy chair, watch a good film and enjoy a glass of wine. Today I went for a walk in the countryside instead of sitting in my room, on my own, wishing I wasn't here. I went to the library, printed out a self exclusion form and a form from Gamstop. On Thursday I'll go to my nearest GA meeting. I'm not gambling or drinking today. One day at a time.
Stuart
Hi Stuart,
Well done on today.
I phoned the gam care helpline and they provided Gam ban to me free of charge for 12 months over 3 devices. I would phone the helpline and ask for this.
I think the year after it costs about £8.95. (Not certain on this.)
Keep going.
Thanks
Oliver
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