Hi All. I at one point lost a lot of money and didnt gamble, after a few years I once again started gambling using online casinos mainly roulette. I kept winning small amounts and then one day just before I finished my last week of my work. I thought I will try and win a extra months mortgage and almost lost £12000 which was the savings to keep my family afloat without my job. now I am jobless and wake up everyday hoping and thinking constantly how to win back this money, I lost a further £1500 since and just don't know how will I ever get my hard earned money back.. I feel sad and lost. I have not shared this issue with anyone including my wife who thinks that I have those savings intact.
Hello @grayp and thank you for sharing on the Forum,
Firstly, I am really sorry you are feeling this way, It is not easy dealing with problem gambling. Gambling is powerful and baffling at times and without support can sometimes be too much.
As I am sure you will come to find, the Forum is a welcoming and supportive space which allows you to talk to others who may also be experiencing similar issues to yourself.
Gambling can have a huge effect on your self-esteem and self-worth. Feelings of loss and sadness are very common with problem gambling so you are not alone, and the important thing to acknowledge is you have reached out here, and that is really positive.
If you haven't done so already can I suggest that you contact the GamCare Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or Netline just to have a space to talk and offload and see what other support we can offer you.
Keep posting and sharing
First step to counter all online gambling is literally nationwide self-exclusion. Online gambling is literally the worst thing there is. I discovered it at the start of my uni and literally almost spent 4 years worth of my student loan on gambling online. I've had amazing wins, but you usually tend to put it all back in because you always want to chase your losses.
Personally, i think you should speak to someone close to you about it. Hiding your gambling problem is the worst feeling and puts way too much stress on yourself, i hid it from everyone for years until last year i opened up to my best friend and parents. Having someone close guide you to the right place is the best recovery in my opinion.
Just like you roulette is my poison. Only roulette. It just has that pull on me. Maybe because since October I started playing it I have won every single day and left with a profit. First it was small, profiting £50 a day which isn’t bad at all’s but I got greedy, the bets became bigger and the profits became bigger too. My biggest win was £11k in 9 days profiting £3k per day. I am very good at leaving the wheel though, as soon as I profit that’s it’s for the day but when I lose- I really lose. When the 0 doesn’t come. My biggest loss was £5400 on Friday. And this made me feel sick. But still half my profits. I keep telling myself I can go back and do it again profit small but I am stopping myself. Because I can’t afford to lose anymore. I’m fighting the feeling everyday coming on here everyday helps. Thinking about how I profited in the past really pulls be but more importantly that feeling of the ball spinning just as it’s about to land is my downfall. I really love it or so I say, yet it’s also affected my mental health badly. So where do I go from here! It’s really hard but I read the stories and I don’t want to end up with nothing at all. I want my life back... so I choose not to play anymore
What I want to say is we always gamble because we think about the past wins, what we think we can win... like me I look at my profits in the past and think I will get the same outcome.... but we all know it’s not.... so that’s why I choose not to gamble anymore. I am still just new here but I already dread the possibility of a relapse.... but I’m determined I will not gamble again.... Because I don’t want to lose what’s left in my life that’s beautiful.... I’d like my old self back and I think that winning this money I lost on Friday will get my old self back but take it from me who has been up and down this merry go round since October, it never ends.... you’ll just want more and end up losing more- then the mental breakdown happens again. I choose to get off this ride while I still can and charge it to the bill of experience. It’s mentally draining getting over the loss, I have many coping mechanisms that I think of... today I’m thinking I’ve actually lost that money because I went to Vegas and had a splash and had the time of my life playing roulette in the Bellagio.... and that puts a smile on my face. Afterall, money is there to be spent. Don’t think about what you could have spent it on... just think you spent it and you had a great time and that was it.... I wonder tomorrow what my coping mechanism will be... but I will share