Getting there but disgusted in myself

Yeah don't start with online slots/scratchcards mate, I'll say no more. Are you in debt from scratchcards? You didn't mention it. If not just take it day by day and don't go deeper. Like you said, spend it on a tv. Scratching out that many tickets must be a pain in the a*s itself. Easier said than done I know full well.

Hey I’m not in debt as I literally can’t get loans etc due to my credit which is kind of a blessing in disguise bro be fair 

no. I’ve just left myself short by buying these cards on my last payday and purely out of boredom, I’m looking at hobbies to stop me gambling, I’m not even thinking about buying a scratch card, I’m just worried on my next pay day I’ll relapse as I’ll have more gambling tokens then (money) and before you mention it ‘ no I don’t have Anyone that can Mind my bank cards for me’ 

I’m alone and I live away from family, mates aren’t the best, I know I won’t do this again but I’m just worried when I get paid again I’ll relapse 

Interesting to read your posts "acorn83", we have quite a lot in common. Iv'e spent much of my life living alone and away from family and friends. It certainly isn't good when you have a gambling problem, because you have all the time in the world to indulge in addictive behaviours. Being at work is probably the only time when am sure i won't gamble, though having said that when i use to be an outreach worker I did use to gamble in work time, because I was able to organise my own day without anyone looking over my shoulder.

I think that another thing about spending quite a lot of time alone is that you start to lose touch with how damaging one's addictive behaviours are to your whole health and well being. For me I can start to convince myself that just because I do pay my rent but then gamble the rest and have no food in the cupboards that am not actually that bad, because I know people that don't even pay their rent until threatened with eviction. But of course this is nonsense. Its not normal to get monthly pay of 4 figures to then be completely skint within a few days and wondering where your next meal is coming from.

I like this site in the sense that i can keep in touch with my own madness through the madness of others. Not that am calling you mad! 😉

For you, keep in touch with the fact that buying scratch cards is not going to change your life. As you have said in other posts, occasionally you may win 3 figures. but your never gonna get a life changing amount of money, just an occasional temporary dopamine hit.. that's it...

Onwards to better times. Am talking to myself here as well.

Hey thanks so much for the reply it’d good to talk to another self admitted addict, are you a scratch card gambler or other things too? 
weird thing is I don’t know how I even got into this. I remember years ago going into a shop seeing scratch cards and then never even phasing me, they may as well have been invisible 

my social life used to be get paid, go to the shop after work to get cash back, meet up with mates in the pub (before they all emigrated) we used to go the pub every night but usually just for one or two pints (about £6) when you compare that to gambling that was nothing, it wasn’t us being drunks, just the local pub was a place to hang out and sometimes have a sneaky cigarette as none of our parents knew we smoked.. but that being said.. scratch cards were literally not a part of my life, I probably bought the odd lotto ticket once a month but that was it and last month and the month before she before and So on I must have bought £400 a month worth of cards, I’m a clown I know, but now I really really don’t ever want to touch another scratch card let alone buy one, think about it, my vice was always the £3 cards as I liked the ones you got a bit of play out of such as bingo ones, crossword ones etc but realistically I knew no matter what they looked like they were still all gambling and £3 a time (usually ten each time) was £30 and that’s a weeks food shop to myself 

I’m an idiot and I need to stop buying these things once and for all, well I’ve not bought one for ten days now but that’s because I’m skint, I’m dreading my next pay day but I’m trying to stay strong, just knowing money’s in my account is going to be the issue 

DID NOT read your entire story but my god one thing I did read and one thing I can absolutely relate to was your title

disgusted in myself

Thanks for that 

I’m truly disgusted in myself