Just got back from a work doo in a casino ,i tried to avoid it but it was a case of all the corporate big wigs are down and you have to be seen to be towing the line
Spent most of the evening sort of ambling around placing token bets to make it look like i was enjoying myself i spent quite a bit of time just observing
There was a good few punters there whom i was watching all in constant states of euphoria and despair
One guy was complaining he was X amount deep in his overdraft and was starting to get nasty with the croupier and his mate
Another guy whom was a semi pro rugby player was completely and utterly immersed in all of it ....i was talking to him in between his bets and it was like he was falling in and of reality
All of his freinds left as he refused to leave the table
Another guy then whom fancied himself as a bit of a local high roller was on the roulette table doing £400 spins he was enjoying in the fuss when he hit a few good numbers about an hour passed and the crowd had left
Then he hits a bad run must have done in around 5K again completely and utterly zombified by the whole experience
It genuinely is crazy when you stand back and watch the effects gambling has on people often turning completely normal people into zombies
It was a horrendous blast from the past , some staff recognised me from my glory days years ago one asked if i would be coming back regularly i said i sincerely hope not
gambling is a truly horrific waste of a life
Hi
The pain of gambling was very painful.
For me to want to go gambling already indicated that I was emotionally vulnerable.
For me I should not live my life in fear of any thing.
For me to go gambling was a form of self abuse, win or not it is self abuse.
For me to go gambling was a form of escaping in my fears.
I use to think that winning money would make me feel successful in my self.
Today I feel successful in my self because my actions are productive and healthy.
Being self sufficient being some one I can like today, pains healing, fears fading, being myself.
For me gambling is a very unhealthy habit, it is the last thing I want to do today.
The gambling was a way of me having intimacy with myself and other people.
Hiding in the dark in a corner was me living in fear.
The person I feared facing the most was myself.
Please stay with the recovery program and with healthy people you can trust.
Each time I went back to gambling was a chance to learn what was my last emotional trigger.
It is healthier less painful and cheaper to make a telephone before you go back to gambling.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
Dave of Beckenham UK
That's a great post GMTB.
What I observed when just watching the goings on in a casino was actually really sad to see. I Always remember the grim faces of people crowding round a roulette table...Sullen expressions..the late bets....the elbowing for position and regular disputes. The arguing and referring to the cameras. It didn't feel safe around that group if I'm honest with you.
People on other tables sat alone and just looking washed out or tired of it but unable to leave. Obviously In and out of reality and I now have a better knowledge of the soup of drugs the body creates in a gambling environment
I didn't see a lot of people having real fun or entertainment but like any gambling den I find them seedy places. Always did really but my addiction was way more powerful to get me in there
I only went a few times in the earlier years usually invited by a work colleague or looking for an all night venue when depressed at night in the city. I have to say it was too much like a gambling environment for me and it required effort to get to one. Too many interactions with croupiers and pit bosses which has been interesting in my therapy as I'm obviously a loner or secretive gambler. The secret was part of the whole twisted experience.The bookies and arcades were deviously located where I could easily get to them
Same deal though and just as seedy in their way. I was so addicted that my dislike was on a back-burner so I could just stand at a machine. I hated being disturbed but ended up having the inane gamblers banter with someone crowding my space.....I felt like a geek because I don't have the banter....another reason why I faced a machine preferably in a more secluded corner.
Truth is I felt embarrassed by my actions and part of me seesaws in and out of reality, part of me was always in reality but the controlling part of me was away in a world of leprechauns and pure escape. Very confusing and mentally draining like an exhausting brain trip
So I get what you are saying and hope you won't go again even if invited
Best wishes for a gamble free life
Thanks for the replies
I think what makes the whole gambling addiction so dangerous is having so many avenues to get sucked into it
Boredom , curiosity ( this one i think is the starting point for a lot of people ) , greed , desperation , depression
there is no one size fits all route into it
Ive taken a long time to understand addiction on the whole but it generally comes back to humans wanting some sort of constant "buzz"or release or however you want to describe it
Some choose drinking
some choose drugs
some choose s*x
some choose gambling
some choose eating
These days the most popular buzz for a lot is social media again a little like gambling no obvious physical effects but scratch beneath the surface and you have more zombies addicted to finding out what people think of them
I appreciate this is a gambling forum but we must understand nearly everyone is addicted to something we are a very very troubled species in general
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