I’m writing on here in hope it makes me feel the tiniest bit better if possible.
I’m currently dealing with a huge gambling addiction. I’ve managed to get myself in about £60-70K of debt. I’m so depressed and have been for years, not sure if that caused this. My family found out about some debt so I come clean about everything. It took me a few days to tell them everything as I was so afraid, so ashamed, disappointed, that’s not even word to say my feelings. I literally hate myself.
I’ve been to the doctors who have prescribed me anti-depressants and anxiety tablets. I’ve been referred for couselling and am also going through the process of GameStop so I can no longer bet.
I don’t know if I can ever live a normal life now. When will I ever forgive myself. When will I ever be able to look my family in the face again. How can I let my boyfriend stay with me when I’m such a disappointment. He thought I was saving for a house with him when really I’m battling this ongoing issue. I’ve broken so many hearts with what I’ve done and I just don’t see how my life will ever get better. Gambling has truly ruined my entire life.
Hi Robyn. ..welcome. ..
It's a great start coming here and getting your story down "on paper".....I remember all those awfull awfull feelings you described. ...and get what you mean about "no word for it "
With all the right help....and listening to those who have walked in youre shoes.....by facing up to you're addiction....and fighting it with eveything you've got.....it honestly can all be sorted......yes...it's hard.....and right now you probally think youre life can't be changed for the better.....but it can love. ..everthing changes....when you change xxx
Robyn, Thx. for coming here and sharing. It sounds like you are in the process of recovery! gamstop, counseling, seeing a Dr. and getting a perscription, coming here... I totally empathize with you, feel with you. If we can have compassion for ourselves mixed in with the recovery work; that's the best because as we all know 'the addiction seems to drive the car until we finally come to a breaking point and then we are responsible to take that help and do some work'. Welcome and please take care of yourself gently as you go forward... a day at a time. Please share more. tara2
I bet you think your problems are quite unique. Well heres the truth, welcome to hell.Will you ever buy our first home ? who knows. Youre just another casualty in the queue waiting for the triage nurse to assess you and see what can be salvaged from the mess youve created.
No matter how bad your pain is the worst is yet to come. Looking someone in the eye and telling them youve broken their hearts through an addiction that is nothing to do with them is the most awfull thing ever. How horrendous is that ?.So where do we go from here you may well ask.
It will take years to gain back the trust you once had. Admitting addiction is hard enough but stopping and getting help combined with a genuine desire to stop gambling is the biggest test ever in fighting this addiction.Some will get through it others will falter.
Ask yourself this. Could you accept that you are no longer to be trusted with anything you say or do ?.Can you finally accept that no matter how much money youve lost you are never going to win it back ?, First lesson come clean immediately dont drip feed your partner the ugly reality and tuth.
Does this sound harsh and brutal ?. It is, and theres only one route forward to remove the deceit & lies so that in the morning you know in your heart of hearts no more skeletons are going to pop out of the cupboard.
Regarding your relationship ive no idea if you can save it. But for sure i can tell you eventually it will be over anyway if you continue on the path of compulsive gambling.
Now for the good news.There is help available through Netline, self exclusion, counselling and support through Gamcare. Never believe in the myth you can do it on your owni tried for more than 30 years. Come clean with your partner ( who knows you might be pleasantly surprised how supportive he is ) but your choice is this. Continue on the road to hell or get help while there is still time.
Hi Robyn gamcare offer counselling, find a GA meeting. Debt problems can be sorted with the help of stepchange. Don't take money from friends and family, that will teach you nothing. Go to your Gp if you're struggling with anxiety or depression. This can all be managed. But seriously get some help, doing this alone is impossible. Start changing your behaviour, find a new pastime.
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