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Feels impossible to even get started

 
Jadiepiex
(@jadiepiex)

Why why why is it SO difficult to stop this evil addiction? I’ve tried many times before yet always seem to give in. Even signed up to gamstop doesn’t stop me, I try find ways around. I keep telling myself this is the worst part of my situation but because I just can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel in terms of paying back debts I just feel at a complete loss. I have no enjoyment in the simplest of things anymore I feel like gambling and it’s financial impact has sucked the life out of me and I’m just a zombie sleepwalking through life. It’s a vicious cycle. Always having that “what if” mentality like I could redeem myself by winning a huge amount of money, because it happens.. 

 

the answers are obvious but they’re so hard to actually *** and control 🙁

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 8th January 2022 4:00 pm
Poblwc
(@poblwc)

Can you talk to someone - a member of your family? I eventually told my husband after 14 years of gambling!! What a relief. I have spent thousands and realised that I couldn’t stop without help. He has been brilliant and forgiven me. He has control of the main bank account and i have a Monzo card with a daily spending limit and this has worked well for me. I will be gamble free one year on February 1st . The cravings are less and less now and i have lots of other hobbies. You need to want to stop . All the best 😄

ReplyQuote
Posted : 8th January 2022 11:47 pm
absentee
(@absentee)

Cancel your debit card and get a new 1. When the letter arrives make sure sm1 else removes the last 3 digits on the back without you knowing/seeing the numbers. 

Promise you, you won't deposit and won't find the way round it somehow anymore.

Moses/self exclude from local shops too. 

Double cross yourself. Make it impossible to gamble for times when you are desperate for it. 

Get through day number one. Just one day. Get some seperation. That's how u start. Build on it. Self respect will gradually start creeping in together with sober thinking, clear head. 

Yes, big wins happen to some people. 

What would you do with the money? 

Stop gambling immediately and forever? 

That's a lie our addicted brain is telling us in order to get its fix. 

I won xxx out of a fiver and managed to stop for a couple of weeks. Guess what followed? 

This big win thing is a lie as we will never hold on to the money. 

It is not your clear/sober head thinking it is your addicted you thinking which wants to trick you into more of the same old addictive behaviour.

Once solid blocks are in place the mind tends to realize the game is over and calms down drastically. 

You still get urges but you can see through them and you can see for what they are.

Impossible is possible.

Get to it. Day 1 

This post was modified 5 months ago by Forum admin
ReplyQuote
Posted : 9th January 2022 10:24 am
Dre
 Dre
(@dre)

Hi, just read through your post and have been there and managed to stay away from gambling for over 2 years…. The bit that stuck out to me was the I could win and pay off my debts! Been there and managed it 3 or 4 times … but it was a plaster over a deep wound…. Then one day I ran up so much debt that I couldn’t possibly win it back…. And that’s how they get you… I have just finished paying off my debt over a period of years …. And that’s why I’m back on here today because I’m unsure if I managed to quit so long because of the debt…. All the advise I would give you you’ve heard 1000s of times… because I did , only thing that helped me is when loved ones know and are supportive….. I never wanted anybody to know however gambling addition is the worst kept secret…. Speak to family and friends and this will help you especially at the beginning…. Wish you all the best and luck on your journey 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 9th January 2022 6:50 pm
Dre
 Dre
(@dre)

Hi, just read through your post and have been there and managed to stay away from gambling for over 2 years…. The bit that stuck out to me was the I could win and pay off my debts! Been there and managed it 3 or 4 times … but it was a plaster over a deep wound…. Then one day I ran up so much debt that I couldn’t possibly win it back…. And that’s how they get you… I have just finished paying off my debt over a period of years …. And that’s why I’m back on here today because I’m unsure if I managed to quit so long because of the debt…. All the advise I would give you you’ve heard 1000s of times… because I did , only thing that helped me is when loved ones know and are supportive….. I never wanted anybody to know however gambling addition is the worst kept secret…. Speak to family and friends and this will help you especially at the beginning…. Wish you all the best and luck on your journey 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 9th January 2022 6:52 pm
c43h
 c43h
(@c43h)

Do you know where you are in life and where you are going? Because if you do you can start to chart a course to get there but if you don't you just drift. They don't want us to think. They harvest impulse junkies who react on every advertising and that is why you see so many on TV in the papers and on the net. The less you think the more they win.  You have to start figuring out who you are , where you are going and how you are going to get there. What do you want? Don't reply with what you don't want. Figure out what you do want. The more you know about you and your wants the better chans you have to get out of this.

We are by habit of trying to solve this alone. Don't You need help. You need to talk to people because they give you feedback that you can use and deal with. Talk to experts here. Decide to do something.

As the story of bird phoenix goes you just have to get through the fire. Redemption starts appearing on the other side of it so start flying. Make a plan. Decide to succeed and you will.

I wish you well!

Best

C

This post was modified 5 months ago by c43h
ReplyQuote
Posted : 9th January 2022 8:31 pm
Mark7
(@mark7)

"I have no enjoyment in the simplest of things anymore I feel like gambling "

There is an intresting interview/podcast that I have heard with Anna Lembke and Joe Rogan nm. 1708# that surprisingly gave me some insight on addiction/dopamine, they were talking more broadly/in other addiction spheres but it pretty much hit home for gambling. It might help you to understand the phenomenon you stated.

Umm wanted to say "Good luck"... but I hope you can succeed makes more sense

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th January 2022 12:24 am
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

Hi Jadiepiex and Welcome 

In a moment of clarity.....in a moment of reality you have to do something that will help force the cold turkey upon you 

Can you tell someone you wouldn't want to let down and who can help control your money?

Yes I understand how difficult it seems. I didn't stop until I picked up the phone and started cutting off my borrowing avenues from parents in particular. I told my father everything because the sighs and stunned silence on the phone were actually nothing compared to the addiction which was killing me mentally and therefore physically 

I finally began to realise what I was dealing with and what it was actually costing me.....my dignity and self respect......my life!

The money chucked away....the money defrauded from my parents. Money I never added up properly as my addiction deluded me that it's only money until the next time when I deserved some of it back....NOT!

I was not a bad person I was an ill J****E for it! I didn't understand the cravings as a serious addiction. I do now!

It's a drug addiction....the cold turkey must come and an addict will obviously find it hard to enter the rehab recovery regime that is needed 

You need reality checks and you should feel pride in self excluding and living on an allowance 

I felt a sense of relief....I couldn't handle it myself anymore....I didn't want money...what good had it been doing me?..it was no problem to me for someone to step in and give me a small allowance

The truth is that recovery is possible. It's how much you want to stop and realise what needs to be done with all the help you can get 

Best wishes to start a gamble free life

This post was modified 5 months ago by Joydivider
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Posted : 10th January 2022 1:28 pm
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